Roger L. Simon

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By Roger L Simon

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More Oscar-Shmoscar

March 3, 2006 - 6:35 pm - by Roger L Simon

Well, it’s that time of year and it will all be over soon, thank the Goddess and inch-fallah. Meanwhile, here are the predictions of a group of wisenheimers who know the editor of NRO. And here is a great possibility for the next South Park puppet feature. (Remember the Saddam/Satan love story? What about Jimmuh and Hugo? South Park goes for Brokeback.) And finally: Ben Affleck receives a posthumous award.

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7 Comments, 7 Threads

  1. ìBen Affleck receives a posthumous award.î

    Who in hell is that? Iíve heard of Ben Verene. This Affleck fellow, however, must have been a somebody back in the 1920s. And yes, Theo Van Gogh remains dead. But why bring that up and put a damper on the festivities? Especially when ìParadise Nowî might win a major award. How many actors and actresses’ will wear suicide vests to honor the film? Has a Palestinian suicide bomber been invited to sit among the guests?

  2. 2. Fausta

    Here’s the only movie I’m rooting for http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4767214.stm

  3. 3. Yeshooroon

    Not a bad article, probably first and last time I’ll read Huffington unless Roger sites another zinger like this one.

    Maybe next year we’ll celebrate the struggles of a transvestite male teacher as he gets the courage to put on a blonde wig and go to class for the first time. We can all “bond” with him as his tortured soul spills for in his emotional rollercoaster ride between minutes in the pricipals office and having to lie to his Mother.
    George Clooney being the ever brave actor will take the roll of the Principal, who has a hankering “engage in vigorous anal sex” as Greg Gutfeld so aptly described in the article for Brokeback Mountain. Clooney’s character torn between men in stockings and his pretty wife must make a choice; 1) hairy back or, 2) the same ole, same ole boring life with a wife and kids.

    How desperate can life be? What will he do? Tune in as we find out the transvetite role is played by none other than Cindy Sheehan. Because afterall, “follyrude”, couldn’t get a real transvetite to play the part as good’ole George Clooney refused to bend over himself to please little miss teacher. So much for bravery.

    The traditional “Christian homophobics” will go crazy I’m sure and demand death just like radical muslims. CNN will report all the usual religious far-right nutjobs losing it and NYT will help us realize we really need to get rid of these zealots and file a lawsuit for the internal memos of all Pastors and all churches. Demanding Congress set up new laws making it illegal to say,
    “anal sex between men is not normal.” NAMBLA and the ACLU will both applaud the new urgency put forth in the media and by ‘follyrude’.

    A new word is created for such outrageous human rights violations. “Transphobia” hits the schools as parents pull their children from classes of men in stockings.

    But in the end, we all are forced to admit that we have wronged these men and they are actually a ‘healthy reflection’ of today’s society. And we should accept them with open arms into our churches, into our homes, our schools and our lives. Maybe little Johnny will get tips for how to shave his legs before he ‘grows a beard’.

    RE-Sex-education is required for all public school students in the art of anal-sex without your boots on.

    Ahh yes… our founding fathers would be proud. I can just see old Georgette now, smiling with his red dress on.

  4. 4. Kevin Peters

    Roger:

    It will be interesting to see how close to the mark he will be on Robin Williams bit will be. I can almost promise that he will use the Elmer Fudd “I killed the Wabbit” riff on Cheney. He has been flogging the same chestnuts for years. I used to love Williams despite his politics. And he was amazingly quick with his improv’s early in his life. But his standup has become stale and he needs new material.`

  5. 5. AlanC

    What do you all think that the market would be for some pro-American military movies on Afghanistan and Iraq, sorta on the lines of the old WWII movies?

    Assuming that there IS a market (my very uninformed opinion), is there anyone in Follyrude (love that) that would and could make it?

    My youngest is a sophmore at Emerson College and just gave me a very funny tale about the pretensiousness of the Movie faculty and student body…..(he’s in TV & Video engineering)

  6. 6. LesterFreed

    Hilarious. And so spot on.

  7. Best shot: Camille Paglia & Cintra Wilson calling the Oscars live on Salon…

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