Editor’s Note: It’s Desert Island Video Game Debates this season at PJ Lifestyle. What are the greatest video games of all time? Which titles defined their genres and dominated their time? The discussion began week with the “most literal” of lists: 5 of the greatest games of all time that happen to be set on an island and continued last week with How To Survive On Desert Lizard Island: The 5 Greatest Multi-Player Video Games Of All Time. Now the Swindle Bros.’s loyal assassin and cold-blooded henchman Lord Reptile offers his selections.
1. Super Mario World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5TB8-ygLWk
THE BIRTH OF YOSHI IN THE MARIO SERIES WAS THE GREATEST DAY IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY. THE ORIGINAL GREEN DINOSAUR WHO COULD EAT EVERYTHING IN THE LAND PROVED THAT MARIO WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE RULER OF THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM. SUPER MARIO WORLD’S ONLY FLAW IS THAT MARIO MUST DISMOUNT YOSHI AT EVERY CASTLE, AND THAT’S NO FUN.
2. Super Mario Bros. 3
ALTHOUGH SUPER MARIO BROS IS LEGENDARY IT IS VERY BORING. SUPER MARIO BROS. 3 UPPED THE ABSURDITY BY GIVING MARIO MORE THAN JUST A DIFFERENT COLOR OF OVERALLS. RACCOON MARIO SHALL ALWAYS SIT UPON THE THRONE OF BEST MARIO POWERUP WHILE FROG MARIO WILL ALWAYS BE THE MOST DISAPPOINTING COLD-BLOODED CHARACTER IN A VIDEO GAME.
3. Super Mario Bros
THE GREATEST SELLING GAME OF ALL TIME IS STILL A SERIOUS PLATFORMER IN ITS OWN RIGHT. THE EMPEROR OF ALL PLATFORMING GAMES DESTROYED ALL COMPETITORS FOR YEARS TO COME, DESPITE BEING VERY BORING. ONE MUST RESPECT ITS PLACE AS FORMER HEAVYWEIGHT PLATFORMER CHAMPION.
4. Super Mario Land 2
THE FIRST SUPER MARIO LAND HAD SERIOUS POTENTIAL BUT THEY CHOSE INSTEAD TO TURN MARIO INTO THE SIZE OF AN ANT, AND THAT SUCKS. BEHOLD THE FINEST HANDHELD MARIO GAME AND BE UTTERLY IMPRESSED BY ITS UNIQUE LEVEL DESIGN AND CHALLENGING FINAL BOSS. PLAY IT ON THE SUPER GAMEBOY, JABRONI.
5. Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
THE REPTILE REFUSES TO RECOGNIZE SUPER MARIO BROS 2 AS A TRUE MARIO TITLE, IT IS A COPY OF DOKI DOKI PANIC ON THE NES. SUPER MARIO BROS. THE LOST LEVELS IS A WORTHY OPPONENT, PREPARE TO BE KILLED BY POISONOUS MUSHROOMS MORTAL SCUM.
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