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30 Bad Ideas Men Should Embrace if They Want to Destroy Themselves, Part II

How today's single women should apply David P. Goldman's It's Not the End of the World, It's Just the End of You to their dating lives. Finding Mr. Righteous is possible when you know what to look for to weed out the man-boy barbarians who haven't figured out that when you worship yourself, ultimately "you become the god that failed."

by
Dave Swindle

Bio

August 5, 2014 - 4:00 pm
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Two of my favorite recent books - I recommend reading these together in tandem for added insight... #culture #religion #relationships #marriage #god

Click here for Part 1 of my list-letter to Lisa responding to her great memoir of her journey searching for relationships with both men and God.

11. Internet Porn Idolatry… and its coming Spawn of Virtual Reality Sex Addiction: Men who expect real-life women to behave as their porn star goddesses do, that is, if they’re still interested in flesh and blood women at all.… As noted in Kathy Shaidle’s must-read e-book culture critique Confessions of a Failed Slut, a compelling exploration of the last four decades’ sexual confusions:

An excerpt from Kathy Shaidle's ebook memoir/culture critique Confessions of a Failed Slut on the strange sexual world emerging out into the open today...

That porn could warp young men’s sexual expectations was a commonplace talking point during the feminist ‘porn wars’ of the Eighties. The notion was roundly dismissed, but now it looks like the ‘anti-s’ were onto something.

Dear Lisa,

In the previous part I already highlighted how some New Testament-centric theologies provided rather inadequate answers to questions of love, marriage, and sex. In the Evangelical Christian youth culture of my teen years it was abstinence until marriage and each lustful thought was morally equivalent to actually cheating on your future spouse. Jesus supposedly knew every bad thought that popped into our heads and each one was responsible for pounding those nails into his innocent flesh.

Just as I showed in point 3 how some Christians snip out a verse from Paul like some kind of biblical bandage to justify their demands for a wifely hooker performing on demand, the end of the sex discussion for those not yet married was Matthew 5:27-30:

27 You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.”[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Is it any wonder that sex and violence seem so joined at the hip when it’s ingrained in so many Christians that lustful thoughts should be banished with thoughts of self-mutilation?

None of the commenters responding to my posts even bothered to acknowledge the alternative solution to the Pauline Christian approach to sex that I’d put up in the beginning:

282616 Kosher-Lust-Cover-jpeg-251x369

Just as Christians and secularists would feel better physically by adopting a food diet closer to Kosher, so too the ideals and approach toward a Kosher sexuality in marriage is also the attitude to pursue.

And part of that comes in recognizing what junk food and porn sex have in common: they’re both the products of an emotional, feelings-based pagan culture that we indulge in because of our inability to develop self-control through finding a higher pleasure than the escape of orgasm and the endorphin rush of the tasty food.

This great video of John Piper that Walter Hudson shared in his article “10 Barriers to Healthy Relationships Explored in Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Don Jon” is worth considering again:

All Comments   (9)
All Comments   (9)
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"Why a man would rather pursue women for phone sex instead of make one of them his beloved wife."

Because he can't be financially raped in divorce court for phone sex is my guess. The societal incentives for marriage are now inverted when it comes to men. Men refusing to marry are merely responding to those incentives and what they do in their free time; video games, etc, are not the cause, but are rather the results of the causes.

Blaming porn or unchristian thought avoids the real causes, which are rooted in the pro-female sexism of modern society, as shown by both on the left and right, that denigrates men and refuses to hold women accountable as adults.
5 weeks ago
5 weeks ago Link To Comment
Being fundamentalist Christians, we did not have pre-marital sex. We didn't do it on the day we exchanged the wedding vows either (we were both too tired). But that was the night I found out that she snores like a chainsaw. I spent that night sleeping in the bathtub. It was not a good beginning. We never had sex once, not in 8 years of marriage. We did not sleep in the same bed. We had separate interests, bank accounts, friends and goals. She said that she offered oral sex to me once, but I don't remember the incident. I suspect that, after 3 or 4 years that she was not 'in the mood', then I wasn't in the mood either. I don't rape, and so our marriage was unconsummated. I do not believe in divorce, yet I am divorced.

I did not marry her because I loved her. What she felt for me was not love either. Any affection we might have built for each other was crushed under the weight of emotional pain. So I cannot recommend the institution of marriage to anyone, male or female (and the human race is doomed).
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
Sounds like David is reimagining himself as a Dostoevsky character.
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
Swindle is a Gamma male and a White Knight. Move along.
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
"I feel like such a geek and a loser continually having to just go back to Bible-thumpery. I tried really hard to avoid it for so long. It’s just the alternative is so much worse."

David, your Evangelical Christian 90s upbringing is coming out again - why feel guilty about speaking the truth? The Bible is the source of Western Civilization -- it isn't "thumpery" to draw facts from the primary source.

The whole "Bible thumping" backlash at the end of last century seemed to bubble out of anti-God circles and be trumpeted by goth teens taking offense at WWJD bracelets. The bottom line: If you're comfortable in your own skin, the Bible isn't going to bother you. A Bible can't thump you - only your conscious can.

Don't feel guilty over a false accusation generated by those who hate being confronted with the Truth. And remember, Geek is the new sexy, and has been for a long time.
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
Note the operate world: FEEL. As in the emotions are speaking that. Thanks for your support and encouragement, Susan.
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
'Tis a sound and a fury...
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
Is it any wonder that sex and violence seem so joined at the hip when it’s ingrained in so many Christians that lustful thoughts should be banished with thoughts of self-mutilation?

Nice literal interpretation. Since Jesus is talking about the inner man (10th Commandment territory) the next verses should be interpreted in that light. Example if being a bar tempts you to stumble stay out of bars. It isn't about self mutilation it is about choices.
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Beat me!!",begs the masochist....and the sadist snickers, "Noooooo !"
6 weeks ago
6 weeks ago Link To Comment
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