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10 Ladies’ Room Rules That Will Keep Other Women from Hating You

Trigger warning for males. Prepare to have your illusions shattered.

by
Paula Bolyard

Bio

June 5, 2014 - 4:36 pm
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This one is for the girls. Not being completely familiar with the rules and regulations of trigger warnings, I’m a little hesitant about whether or not this is appropriate, but before I begin, let me just warn our male readers: continuing to read will rob you of your sense of awe about the mysterious and wondrous things that you think go on in the women’s restroom. Read at your own peril.

I’m attending some classes this week, which means I’m drinking copious amounts of coffee and therefore having to spend more time than I usually do in a public restroom frequented by other women — poised, professional-looking women who (by most measures) seem to have impeccable manners. But the minute I walk into the restroom I realize that women are the same wherever you go: It is a universal truth that women demonstrate appallingly uncouth behavior when they’re turned loose in public restrooms — especially when they are traveling in gaggles.

With that in mind I’d like to suggest a code of conduct for the ladies’ room — 10 Ladies’ Room Rules That Will Keep Other Women from Hating You.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
I do not understand people who don't like to sit. the thighs are the only part of the body that touches the seat. Thighs do not carry germs. All the parts to worry about are not touching the seat. I'm beyond perplexed at the aversion to sitting on what would be a clean seat except for the IDIOTS who insist on hovering over the seat and then peeing on it. people's thighs touch things we all sit on every day. I don't see women hovering over benches in the park or booths in restaurants but suddenly in a bathroom something someone's thighs have touched disgusts some.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Whatever you do, don't eat while you're in the stall. Wait until after you make a shipment before accepting another delivery.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (60)
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My peeve is the discarded paper towels that never reach the pail, leaving a mess on the floor. Had to put up a sign before the situation improved.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
I would like to point out that sometimes the wet, scummy mess on the bathroom counter in public restrooms is the result of faulty plumbing installation. I have worked in several buildings where you could go in the bathroom first thing in the morning, the sinks and counters are perfectly dry, and as soon as you turn on the water to wash your hands, water starts running all over the counter from around the sinks. The paper towels in most restrooms are so cheap and non-absorbent that it is almost impossible to clean up the counter once the water gets on it. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of slobby women using public restrooms, but there is also a lot of cheap plumbing involved as well.

I'd like to add that the YMCA I go to had to put signs in the women's locker room stalls that said "Our toilets do not flush automatically. Please FLUSH the toilet after use." I asked my husband if there was also a sign in the men's locker room and he said no. I talked to the Fitness Director at the Y about it and she said it had become such a problem in the woman's locker room that they felt compelled to post signs. She also said that she thinks they need to get bigger signs, because the signs don't seem to be working. Honestly!
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
My pet men's room peeve is chewing gum in the urinal. It just sits there all day stuck on the grated holes and never goes anywhere then somebody has to pick it out.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Good summation but want to add the courtesy flush if you have to deposit something that is overly odoriferous. This way you don't fill the entire restroom with ugly green fumes.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
11. Wipe up the splashes around the sink after you wash your hands. That way, the next person won't set her purse down in a puddle of water.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
I didn't read the article because I can't stand thinking about it any more. I ran bars and restaurants for 40 years, and you'd be surprised how many times the owner is in charge of cleaning the restrooms- especially if you want it done right. Women are twice as filthy as men and oftentimes do things that are just plain disgusting- which again, is why I couldn't bring myself to read the article.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Oh, well. Nice to know they're as filthy as we men are.
Now, do they write dirty limericks and poetry on the stall walls like we do? We don't always have a newspaper under our arm to entertain us while we do our business, and some "freelance" literature sometimes comes in handy to help relax while ensconced in an atmosphere that will never be confused with a "botanical garden" . . .
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Here in Asia the peasants all squat to do what they need to do. They also use their left hands to remove the feces from their anuses instead of toilet paper. However faced with Western toilet bowls they simply stand on the rim or seat and squat anyway. So toilets frequented by Asian peasants are extremely unhygienic and definitely no place to sit. This is mainly a MUSLIM problem.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
What part of Asia? I was in China quite a bit 10 years ago, and outside of the American enclaves, that was the norm. Forget finding a sit down toilet in office buildings or shopping malls. And bring your own TP.

27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Interesting that you would post this, as the column reminded me of a problem we had in the workplace a few years ago. After about 15 YEARS in the same three-story building, we suddenly had a problem that SOMEONE was going into the WOMEN'S restroom, apparently squatting on the seat and depositing their, um, business on the back of the seat, thereby also getting it all over the flush handle and external plumbing. This happened only in the restroom on the first floor, and happened daily. Employees complained, the cleaning people complained, and finally our Human Resources staff felt that maybe they were going to have to do something about this. But rather than begin by figuring out which new employee (who happened to come from the Middle East and wore a hijab) worked on the first floor and started her tenure with us on or about the time this phenomenon began, speaking to THAT PERSON discreetly and taking care of the problem, they decided that they needed to be "culturally sensitive" and "respectful of diversity." So they figured that since the problem was happening in the WOMENS restroom, they would hold "etiquette workshops" for the female employees to address bathroom etiquette. Every female in the building was required to attend these workshops, during which the whole "pooping on the back of the toilet" was mentioned, so discreetly that the woman in question didn't seem to get the point. So she continued this practice, and the rest of us had to be subjected to bathroom etiquette classes. Eventually, SOMEONE who went into the stall after she came out had the cojones to confront her about it and explain that this was NOT an appropriate practice in the West and she better knock it off. She did.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Jeez. What a barbarian. Not at all surprised to hear where she hailed from.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
I worked in a number of restaurants when I was young. At the end of the day, short straw loser had to clean the women's restrooms; possibly the filthiest place on the planet outside of Washington.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
Leaving urine on the seat is The Number One Sin in my book, and I have almost come to blows over it with some hag who didn't bother to clean up after herself. She was insulted that I would actually bring it to her attention.
27 weeks ago
27 weeks ago Link To Comment
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