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5 Surprises Coming in 2014 That Shouldn’t Be

PJM asked "What will the biggest surprises in 2014 be?" So I told them.

by
Charlie Martin

Bio

January 7, 2014 - 9:00 am

shutterstock_116610016

The problem with asking what the biggest surprise will be, of course, is that it’s self-defeating: if I tell you what the biggest surprise will be, and I’m write, you won’t be surprised after all. So the short answer is “the biggest surprise will be something completely unexpected.”

I can tell you some things that will be surprises and shouldn’t be:

Anthropogenic Climate Change

We will continue to hear about how global climate change is happening, is important, is a crisis, and must be handled by massive government intervention, transferring money from rich countries to poor countries through the UN. We will also discover that many of these solutions will involve transforming low-margin commodities into high-margin high-tech products from companies owned by the politically connected.

Health Care

There will be no case whatsoever in which we will see a clear positive effect from the Affordable Care Act, but we will see an increasing number of explanations for why it’s not the fault of the law that none of the effects were good. This ought to be a surprise, because you’d think just by random chance something in a 2700 page bill would have to be useful.

Science

New exciting things will be discovered, in medicine, in physics, and in nanotechnology. For each one, there will be a learned op-ed explaining why this advance will lead to economic crisis, the collapse of civilization, the end of the world, or the destruction of the universe.

The New York Times…

…will authoritatively report that in fact Hillary Clinton has been retired for the last five years, and was never associated with the Obama Administration in any way.

Punditry

Every pundit will write at least one article explaining how everything would be better everywhere if the pundit were King of Everything. This includes me.

****

illustration courtesy shutterstock /Β AlenD

Charlie Martin writes on science, health, culture and technology for PJ Media. Follow his 13 week diet and exercise experiment on Facebook and at PJ Lifestyle

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Top Rated Comments   
My predictions?

1. California's economy will continue to slide into ruin. Naturally, all of this will be blamed on greedy Republicans who have not been in power for years and the selfish small business owners who are no longer in California. (Specifically, it will be their fault BECAUSE they are no longer in California.)

2. Benefits to the long-term unemployed will gradually dry up, causing the official unemployment rate to drop from 7.0% to 6.2% while each offering of dozens of jobs draws thousands of applicants and the rate of participation in the labor force plunges to all time lows. Leftist propagandists will simultaneously blame the plight of the long-term unemployed and the sorry state of the economy on greedy Republicans, and assure us that the economy has finally turned the corner and is now making a swift recovery thanks to the Democrats' leadership.

3. The Unaffordable Careless Act will continue to fail epically, and people will die as a result. Its boosters will continue to blame Republican obstructionism.

4. Summer will be hot, Winter will be cold, and various natural disasters will occur. All of these will be blamed on Anthropogenic Climate Change. Astonishingly, the only solution for these problems will prove to be more government.

5. We will see at least a dozen more articles from leftist pundits arguing that the Constitution's limitations on government are obsolete and should be overturned in court and through executive orders.

6. Work-at-home scammers, leftist concern trolls, goose-stepping anti-Zionists, and the occasional 9/11 troofer will continue to spam PJMedia with junk posts.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (3)
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By the way, I think you meant "right" in the line "...if I tell you what the biggest surprise will be, and I’m write, you won’t be surprised after all." Of course, "...if I write down here what the biggest surprise will be, and that's what it turns out to be, you won't be surprised after all" would also be acceptable.

Of course, logically speaking, the biggest surprise might still come as a surprise to somebody else even if we readers of yours see it coming thanks to what proves to be your amazing prescience...
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
You're write.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
My predictions?

1. California's economy will continue to slide into ruin. Naturally, all of this will be blamed on greedy Republicans who have not been in power for years and the selfish small business owners who are no longer in California. (Specifically, it will be their fault BECAUSE they are no longer in California.)

2. Benefits to the long-term unemployed will gradually dry up, causing the official unemployment rate to drop from 7.0% to 6.2% while each offering of dozens of jobs draws thousands of applicants and the rate of participation in the labor force plunges to all time lows. Leftist propagandists will simultaneously blame the plight of the long-term unemployed and the sorry state of the economy on greedy Republicans, and assure us that the economy has finally turned the corner and is now making a swift recovery thanks to the Democrats' leadership.

3. The Unaffordable Careless Act will continue to fail epically, and people will die as a result. Its boosters will continue to blame Republican obstructionism.

4. Summer will be hot, Winter will be cold, and various natural disasters will occur. All of these will be blamed on Anthropogenic Climate Change. Astonishingly, the only solution for these problems will prove to be more government.

5. We will see at least a dozen more articles from leftist pundits arguing that the Constitution's limitations on government are obsolete and should be overturned in court and through executive orders.

6. Work-at-home scammers, leftist concern trolls, goose-stepping anti-Zionists, and the occasional 9/11 troofer will continue to spam PJMedia with junk posts.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
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