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6 Warnings I Would Send My Younger Self

Worth the risk of unraveling the space-time continuum and destroying the entire universe.

by
Walter Hudson

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December 7, 2013 - 7:00 am
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Who has two thumbs and loves Back to the Future? This guy! Replete with such cornball humor, and stimulating the imagination to ponder mysteries of the universe like temporal displacement and women, the ’80s popcorn adventures hold up to this day.

As 2015 nears, boasting a movie release schedule packed with blockbuster franchises – everything from the next Star Wars to Avengers: Age of Ultron and Jurassic World – it saddens me to realize we won’t also see a revisiting of the Back to the Future universe. You may recall that 2015 was the year that Doc Brown and Marty McFly traveled to in the second film. That year will also mark the 30th anniversary of the franchise. A second volume of films centering around the disparity between 2015 as we will know it and the one encountered by Marty as a teenager carries a lot of potential. If only screenwriter Bob Gale and director Robert Zemeckis were reading.

Much of the fun in Back to the Future emerges from a clash of generations, how things change over time — and how they stay the same. The second film in the series addresses what might happen if you went back in time and told your younger self how to be successful. Marty McFly plots to take a sports almanac from 2015 back to 1985 so he can place bets on foreseen outcomes. When the book falls into the hands of an elderly and villainous Biff Tannen, he executes the same plan to disastrous effect.

Sure, sending your younger self stock tips or sports scores may be an underhanded way to achieve your best life now. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t less scandalous messages you could send which might produce a better result. Here are 6 warnings I would send my younger self.

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Top Rated Comments   
The six things I would tell my younger self:

1. That blonde? Stay away. She's a flake.
2. That brunette? Stay away. She's a liar and a serial cheater.
3. The redhead? Stay away. She's a liar, a serial cheater, and has all the earmarks of a psychopath. She'll probably snap and try to kill you one day.
4. No, seriously. Stay away from the redhead.
5. Buy ammo while its cheap and stack it deep. Its an investment in precious metals.
6. Don't eat yellow snow.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
In fact, the really selfish and greedy ones were Maddof's "victims". They wanted easy money, fast, and stupidly bet their life savings that he could deliver them impossible returns.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (14)
All Comments   (14)
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Walter, of late I'm finding that you're one of my favorite writers.

I volunteer at my church to help people find jobs in my spare time (which I have little enough of, you know how life is). I've given some of the youth a presentation (the pastor asked me to give it to ALL the youth) about college. I have to keep interrupting myself to say, "I'm NOT telling you to NOT go to college. I AM telling you to have a plan." I talk a lot about ROI for degree programs. ALWAYS know what the REAL cost is before a degree pays off. Don't just look at the median income for that field. Look at employability upon graduation, how long you have to have internships or work as a low-paid newbie, apprentice or whatever before you hit median income, and plan accordingly.

Also, you're dead on about cohabitation. It disrespects your mate and it's a way to keep the exit hatch open. It's an insult to your partner to demand the benefits of a marriage without giving the commitment required by marriage. If you wouldn't marry the person, why would you want to live with them anyway?
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Paragraph 5 (Love Your Spouse Before You Meet Them: "We create the problem by embracing a culture of polyamorism. ..") is one of the most important part of this essay.

It hits the nail on the head. I am sure someone will try to refute it. It might not be apparent to everyone and will need restating or further expoundment. As it is it is stated so very well.

And it needs to be stated. The philosophy of Playboy is more prevalent than this sage advice. I know. I saw my 1st playboys as a 3rd grader when other kids stole them from under their fathers stash.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
"In each case, we went to school for the wrong reasons, without the foresight to integrate our education into a plan for living."

I'd bet you probably had some dope-smoking idiot guidance counselor tell you to "follow your heart" or some other nonsense when picking a major too. A liberal arts or social sciences college degree has been devalued to zero by endless catalog offerings like "Studies in Feminist Achievements in Aquaculture in Equatorial Guinea" and the like. Unless you major in engineering or hard sciences, you're wasting your time, money, and future these days.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
AMEN! You're WAY better off with a trade than a humanities degree. You can't outsource your car to India for a new head gasket, and you can't outsource your house to China for a new roof. And I don't think I've EVER seen a diesel technician or a welder out of work for long. And transmission mechanics make GREAT money. After I'm out of the Army, I'm going to start flipping used cars. I'll rebuild the drivetrains and install a bifuel natural gas fuel system on them.

"Here's a Dodge minivan with a brand new drivetrain that'll get you $1.50 per gallon. Give me $10k and it's yours." Just wait until that 50MPG EPA mandate drives up the cost of base models to $50k. I'll be rolling in the money.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
The six things I would tell my younger self:

1. That blonde? Stay away. She's a flake.
2. That brunette? Stay away. She's a liar and a serial cheater.
3. The redhead? Stay away. She's a liar, a serial cheater, and has all the earmarks of a psychopath. She'll probably snap and try to kill you one day.
4. No, seriously. Stay away from the redhead.
5. Buy ammo while its cheap and stack it deep. Its an investment in precious metals.
6. Don't eat yellow snow.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
We must have dated the same women!
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Very likely. The brunette was seeing at least two other guys when I figured it out.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
You are supposed to love your neighbor as you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you are not going to love your neighbor very well.

If you want bad things to happen to you or don't want good things to happen to you, you are sick.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
The people who celebrate "living for others" are...the others who get lived for. OK, that could be the poor people down at the soup kitchen. It could also be a political party or a religious cult. YMMV, but most others will selfishly take everything you have and give back nothing. That's not the essence of charity. It's called "using."

Sometimes the using works both ways. Using others, living for others, to fill an empty place inside. To boost one's ego. To be the Hero in one's own drama.

Unhealthy takers and unhealthy givers live in a symbiotic relationship. And they tend to privilege that relationship above all others - giving themselves permission to do all kinds of unwise things "for the greater good." They frighten me.

It is possible to help other people, to look out for their welfare, to wish them the well, to regard them with loving friendliness - and to do so calmly, rationally, morally, even dutifully. This is not the same as "living for others," which is a sickness.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
In fact, the really selfish and greedy ones were Maddof's "victims". They wanted easy money, fast, and stupidly bet their life savings that he could deliver them impossible returns.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
I don't really care for the guy but Donald Trump hit it on the head when someone asked him if he thought there where other people involved and he said there was a office building somewhere with 3 or 4 floors full of guilty people Maddof payed his employes at least double what they'd get anywhere else and they stayed and kept their mouths shut
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yes, Madoff is just the one who went to jail. There is no doubt in my mind that there were others in the know.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
And there is no doubt in my mind that some of those others in the know were early investors.

No way to prove it, of course, so they won't be prosecuted.
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
What people colloquially call 'greed' is the impulse towards attaining something for nothing. A benefit in little cost towards yourself, though it might cost some other one a mint. Greed as a combination of sloth, lust and gluttony - three of the deadly sins.......'>.........
18 weeks ago
18 weeks ago Link To Comment
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