My 5 Favorite Ann Coulter Columns
Moronic Republicans, asinine liberals, and why Ann should be in charge.
October 21, 2013 - 7:00 am
Ann Coulter is brilliant because she possesses the unique ability to eviscerate hypocrites with thorough research and quick wit. Her brilliance is further proven by the fact that the most her detractors (notably the ones commenting on my review of her latest book) can ever do is criticize her appearance — after all, why not make grossly sexist remarks about someone you just don’t like when they happen to be a woman? Needless to say, it was quite a challenge to cull my top 5 favorite columns from Never Trust a Liberal Over 3, Especially a Republican. Somehow I managed to rise to the challenge — albeit with a few notable runner-ups for good measure.
5. America Nears El Tipping Pointo (December 5, 2012)
Runner-ups: Romney Doing the Job Republican Establishment Just Won’t Do and If the GOP Is This Stupid, It Deserves to Die
In this keen look at voter statistics, Ann reveals that Romney won the majority of the vote among 18-29 year olds … who are white. “Even the Lena Dunham demographic — white women under thirty — favored Romney,” she quips. At this point, liberals would be reeling with accusations of racism and Romney’s obvious membership in the KKK. However, those bold enough to read on will not only receive a valuable comparison of voter stats from Reagan to Romney, they’ll also learn something their public education failed to teach them: the practical fiscal and electoral impact of Ted Kennedy’s 1965 Immigration Act.
One of the many articles that highlight the patronizing racism of liberals, “El Tipping Pointo” details the difference between honest and manipulative immigration over the course of the last 40 years. Drawing a sharp comparison between America as “the land of opportunity” and the land of “the soulless rich who want cheap labor,” Ann illustrates exactly how liberal pundits and elite Republicans take advantage of “phony ‘family reunification’ rules” to bloat the welfare system and liberal voting rolls while presenting a stereotypical image of hardworking Hispanics (versus the “recent Hispanic immigrants who …are the poorest of the world’s poor”) to gain public support for policies that bankrupt America and keep real change from ever happening in D.C.
4. Negroes With Guns (April 18, 2012)
Runner-up: The Left’s Continuing War on Women
The idea here is simple: “gun control is always a scheme of the powerful to deprive the powerless of the right to self defense.” Contrary to popular belief that everything liberal should be blamed on the hippies, gun control dates back to the post-Civil War era. “Gun control laws were original promulgated by Democrats to keep guns out of the hands of blacks.” Over the next century, every time a Klansman Democrat came into political power, “gun control laws would suddenly appear on the books.” Hence, Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s application for a gun permit was denied in 1950s Alabama. Again, contrary to popular narrative, the NRA was the one organization that granted charters to “blacks who sought to defend themselves from Klan violence.” No wonder the Democrats hate the NRA.
3. Like, Is Sarah Palin Totally Conceited? (September 15, 2010)
I am an unabashed fan of the “beauteous” (as Ann calls her) Sarah Palin and will take any sexist remarks from her detractors as further evidence of the brilliance of Republican women.
In her column, Ann rips on Vanity Fair writer Michael Gross, who somehow crafted an article out of a conversation with “an unnamed bellman at an unnamed Midwestern hotel” who claims not to have been tipped by the Palins. “Also fantastic is Gross’s conspiracy theory on why no one in Alaska will talk to him about Palin. …It’s me, Michael Gross from Manhattan! Everyone in Alaska should want to hang with me!” It is a column that illustrates exactly how easily level-headed, luminous Republicans can drive liberals into becoming “paranoids.” Point taken.
2. Beliefnet Interview: Church Militant: Ann Coulter on God, Faith and Liberals (July 2006)
Interviews with Ann Coulter are almost more enjoyable to read than her columns. Interviewers always think they have the upper hand until they get Ann-slapped and have to issue it in print. Proving themselves as judgmental as all spiritualists claim not to be, Beliefnet asked a series of moronic loaded questions like “will most liberals go to hell or heaven?” and “are churches that don’t agree with your politics or religious beliefs not really churches?” Here’s another: “Do you think Jesus would want you to be nicer to your political opponents?”
Apparently they missed the fact that Ann is a lawyer, rather familiar with their tricksty ways and willing to be as snide in the answering as they are in the asking, all the while managing to make some very insightful points about God, faith, and political practice:
“If all Christians and Jews tithed their income as the Bible commands, every poor person would be cared for, every naked person clothed, and every hungry person fed.”
“…claiming to be Jewish or Christian doesn’t immunize one from bad ideologies.”
“I don’t say ‘most liberals don’t believe in God’; I say liberalism is a godless religion. Some liberals don’t understand the underlying religious dogma and principles of liberalism – if they did, they would flee the building.”
The column should be required reading for anyone interested in the intersection between faith and politics and the battle between good and evil that David Swindle describes.
1. Fool Me Eight Times, Shame On Me (July 27, 2005)
Ann Coulter was right on John Roberts, the moron who had such faith in his decision to uphold Obamacare that he fled to Malta the minute he cast his vote. “Bush and all the other Zarathustra Republicans cheering for Roberts haven’t the first idea what kind of justice he will be. They are telling us their hopes and dreams.” George W. “Son of Read My Lips” Bush had the golden opportunity to nominate a kick-butt conservative. Instead, he said “trust me.” The GOP asked “how high?” as they lined up at the Brooklyn Bridge to skydive with no parachute.
And now we have Obamacare.
Try to sexist-remark yourself out of that one, Republicans.