Fauxminists everywhere are declaring Robin Thicke’s summer hit “Blurred Lines” rapey and weird:

Basically, the majority of the song … has the R&B singer murmuring “I know you want it” over and over into a girl’s ear. Call me a cynic, but that phrase does not exactly encompass the notion of consent in sexual activity.

As originally written with the rap, yes, it’s gross. So was the video with the naked supermodels, as is most pop music. That is all true. (Someone needs to record the date and time I agreed with a modern feminist. It won’t happen again.)

However, “Blurred Lines” is a serious jam and I can’t help but turn it up and sing along (albeit without the kids in the car). Last week, I wrote about the Miley Cyrus twerking incident which involved Thicke, who really should have known better than to agree to perform a pedophilia fantasy with a barely legal girl in a teddy bear suit. I think we can all agree these are not shining pillars of moral superiority we’re dealing with. The Hollywood crowd seems to be arrested in development somewhere near 15 years of age with a fixation on dick jokes and orgasms.

But something happened with “Blurred Lines” that made it palatable even to this Christian conservative prude: Jimmy Fallon and The Roots rewrote it.

During an episode of Jimmy Fallon’s late night show, he sang a version of “Blurred Lines” with Robin Thicke and The Roots. In this version, The Roots did a freestyle rap in place of the original misogynistic, rapey rap that could be a marriage anthem.

Good girlfriends, I had a few
But the best girlfriend I ever had is you
I thank God for my blessings, it began with you
So I put a ring on it and I married you
Come on and take a ride with me on a avenue
If you see it and you want it, you can have it boo
You have these other girls getting mad at you
Cause you got brains, looks and attitude
Cause my skill line is getting blurrier
I come home to my own Miss America
I mean this ain’t no ordinary love
Go and bring it here to me girl, hurry up
I’m watching, I’m waiting and they not you, so they hating
They just angry cause you ain’t basic
And I’mma give you a standing ovation

When mixed with this message, and seen under the light of married monogamy (Robin Thicke is married), the other lyrics fall nicely into a pretty hot love song. If seen in the context of husband speaking to wife, the lyric “I know you want it…let me liberate ya” becomes funny and inevitable. I mean, ladies, when your husband is being cute and complimenting you (“You the hottest b**** in this place!”), don’t tell me your answer to “I know you want it” is: “Not really” — and if it is, why did you marry him?