Get PJ Media on your Apple

PJM Lifestyle

Is a Man Doomed to Be Labeled ‘Immature’ No Matter What?

The Telegraph reports: "Alarmingly, eight out of ten women believe that men 'never stop being childish...'"

by
Helen Smith

Bio

June 15, 2013 - 2:00 pm

The Telegraph has an article stating that men mature 11 years later than women and are 43 before they start acting respectable(!), according to this study (via Newsalert):

A study into the differences in maturity between genders revealed both men and women agree men remain ‘immature’ well into their late 30s and early 40s.

But the average age at which women mature emerged as 32.

Alarmingly, eight out of ten women believe that men ‘never stop being childish’ – with breaking wind, burping, eating fast food in the early hours and playing videogames their biggest bug-bears.

Staying silent during arguments, not being able to cook simple meals and re-telling the same old jokes and stories when with the lads were also hailed as signs of immaturity…

One quarter of women felt they were the ones made all the important decisions in the relationship with the same percentage wishing their partner would talk about themselves and what they’re feeling more often.

So, whatever men do is viewed as “immature,” even by the men themselves. Everything that men do is seen as immature; women’s behavior is viewed as mature. Silent during an argument? Immature. Yell, confront, and raise a man’s blood pressure? Mature. It’s very easy to play this game. Men are not displaying the behavior that women want; that’s always immature.

I wonder what would happen if the men truly opened up and started really talking about themselves and how they truly feel, not just how women say they should feel. Do you really think women would view this as mature? I would love to be a fly on the wall to watch that happen.

*****

Cross-posted from Dr. Helen

Helen Smith is a psychologist specializing in forensic issues in Knoxville, Tennessee, and blogs at Dr. Helen.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
There used to be a code of etiquette, of conduct, for how men and women should act and behave, a code that was refined over millennia of social interactions. It was an ideal, of course, that was often acknowledged by our failure to achieve it, but it was a goal to strive for at least. When the Women's Liberation movement coupled with the Sexual Revolution arrived in the 1960's, the first casualty was the code. Everyone was confused and they suddenly didn't know how to build a relationship with members of the opposite sex. Young men these days are more confused than ever. They are bombarded with a cacophony of different conflicting signals on how they should behave. Why is it any wonder that the behavior of many men seems immature? To act mature is to live up to the code, the code that many women helped to flush down the toilet, when they celebrated their liberation from men as exemplified by Irina Dunn's phrase "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" and their demand for free sex without consequences including freedom to abort unwanted children that might hamper their personal freedom, notwithstanding what the father might desire. Look at the culture we have today. Look at what core beliefs a majority of young adults have today. If women want men to be mature at a younger age, then start rewarding mature behavior and punishing immature behavior. If the message is clear, the men will get it and respond.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
There's a large element of boy in any grown man. This is not immaturity. I wouldn't give two figs for any man who doesn't retain that boyish spirit.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
When a man opens up and tells a woman how he really feels during an argument the cops are called and he's arrested for domestic assualt making her "feel" threatened. Women say they want a man to be basically be more like women, and those men are simply beta's friendzoned for eternity. Women want to rule, they desire to rule over men, but also desire for men to rule over them and give them security. Women are strange, even though they see men as immature they get angry when a much older man (40's)dates a muchyounger girl(20's).
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (51)
All Comments   (51)
Sort: Newest Oldest Top Rated
I think a big part of it is the difference between male and female immaturity. In my observation, female immaturity is more likely to fit in with the modern world. That's to say it is hidden to a large extent, because it is more socially acceptable.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
It's interesting, women can have their clubs, groups, and institutions yet men cannot have any club, group, or institution that does not eventually come under attack by women. The worst part is that they don't really care to be a part of the men's only club, group, or institution they just want to destroy it so that the men cannot enjoy it.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"I wonder what would happen if the men truly opened up and started really talking about themselves and how they truly feel, not just how women say they should feel."

Most would just interrupt them and continue on whatever it is they are pissed off at the man about. The rest would tell them they are a selfish a-hole and never listen to her.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Two points:

1) The "men" in question are Brits.

2) The immature gender is the one that built civilization. I'm sorry the ladies didn't get to participate much in that endeavor except in a supporting role, but of late, and for some decades, women have had the opportunity to make their contributions. How's that going? I'm sorry, too early to tell? Shall we wait for more Nancy Pelosis and Hillary Clintons and Sandra Flukes before rendering a verdict?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
The problem is that too many women don't know the difference between being mature and being a bossy little girl.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Saints preserve us, I remember this. Who doesn't? From way, WAY back, when I was in elementary school. This was a fun argument to have with friends and half-rivals alike: what behavior falls in the category of mature. I believe the progress towards real maturity starts where the compulsion to attempt to score points by mocking the other party's immaturity ends. Up until that point, you're still really just looking for ways to actively avoid addressing the focus of the argument instead of looking for solutions and supporting specific positions. In other words, it's a mistake even if the other party IS less mature, because of the mindset it indicates.

And to be fair, it's not totally impossible the other party is immature... even if these women's complaints are pretty questionable (that's being charitable). One of the things that is so tooth-grindingly horrible about the modern state of gender relations is that sorting out selective pressure from misandry is basically impossible. If I polled internet fraudster's about their observations on internet users, they might well tell me the average person on the internet is unusually stupid and, paradoxically, not very tech-savvy. They're not wrong, per se, they're just basing their observations on a sample of "Nigerian Prince" respondents and making an over-generalization. In the same way, these women can plausibly end up with the immature because only the weak-willed, codependent, or stupid are willing to have anything more serious than prolonged eye-contact with these women. On the other hand, I think we'd most of us agree that if Prince Charming personally rode down on a Pegasus for them, they'd chew him out for something too. He'd be to controlling ('cause he has independent opinions), and he'd be paranoid ('cause he's got a sword). Lord help the man who sweeps them off their feet... they'll charge him with abuse and put a restraining order on him.

I digress. I don't need 'em, I don't care what they have to say about it, and no amount of name-calling will make me. Like the economy and all the rest... let it burn.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"I wonder what would happen if the men truly opened up and started really talking about themselves and how they truly feel, not just how women say they should feel. Do you really think women would view this as mature? I would love to be a fly on the wall to watch that happen."

I generally take this approach and it turns out more like, "Damn, will you stop talking so much, when do you have time to think?" or "It stresses me out when you get worked up over every little thing and it makes me want to pull out my hair". This usually leads to her "being silent in conversation" for the rest of the night. Despite the glare she directs at me, I consider that a win...I don't have to hear her anymore.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
So wait...the Telegraph considers a survey on when people BELIEVE the genders mature is evidence of the actual maturity rate of the genders?

I'm sorry, but I don't get my information from polls. That would be like picking which music I like by a poll on what is the best music (otherwise known as popularity), which would be...well...immature.

Here are my favorites in the list of male "immaturity" and their translation into real-world terms:

"Trying to beat children at games and sport" - Teaching the children the value of competition.

"Staying silent during an argument" - Tact

"Don't like talking about themselves/ having proper conversations" - Humbleness (technically called "humility", but that sounds like they get humiliated too easily and all I mean is a lack of self-absorption and vanity apparently considered "mature" by the people polled).

"Wearing trainers to night clubs" - Again, not being vain is immature?


1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Men are no longer the provider, no longer the protector. The government has seen to that. So what is the man's role today?

Women don't know. They just know that whatever it is men just don't fit. Therefore men must be more like women. And again men just don't fit. They aren't like women so they are immature.

Any questions?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Oh, I forgot, men don't know either since the role they are made for biologically will just get them put in jail. Take England for example. Men must flee any threat even in their own homes. If they don't flee they go to jail. Any action not organized by the government is being a "cowboy", the worst expletive that a nanny state and it's inhabitants can use to categorize someone.

The government has seen fit to be mother and father to all and jail is available to those who don't fit.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
People, both men and women, do immature things as long as they can, but they are capable of maturity if it's required for survival. Just look at how much more mature soldiers are than the general population. Thought the following song is appropriate for both the subject of male maturity and Father's Day.

Jon Christopher Davis - The Boy I Left Behind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY3Zrn2tYic

Went to Love and War to celebrate my friend Monica's birthday and sat at the same table as her, Jon, and the band before the show. Great guy.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
1 2 3 4 Next View All