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Why Your Friends Shouldn’t Give a Crap About Your Birthday

Join us now every Wednesday morning at PJ Lifestyle for Hannah's Bad Advice.

by
Hannah Sternberg

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May 8, 2013 - 7:00 am
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Submit your questions to PJMBadAdvice@gmail.com or leave a question in the comments section, and I’ll answer it in Bad Advice!

Happy birthday, spring babies! I’ve just rounded the corner on a quarter century, and here’s a question from another Millennial, with a birthday problem…

Dear Bad Advice,

Three years ago, I had the best and worst birthday of my life. I was turning 21 and I had a spectacular party at a bar with a big group of friends the night before, and was showered with gifts and cards the next day (including a cake my mom sent me in the mail!). Sounds pretty good, right? Well, that day I also broke up with my boyfriend of three years, whom I’d been hoping to marry. It was the product of a long, painful wind-down that had taken place over the preceding months, but the final straw was when I opened up a box of flowers, and all my friends assumed it was from him…but it wasn’t. He was there when I opened it, and when one of my friends asked what he had done for my birthday, she found out he hadn’t planned anything special at all, not even a card or a nice dinner out. I know some people don’t make a big deal out of birthdays or holidays, but we had always been very thoughtful about celebrating special occasions, making each other hand-made gifts and cards and going out of our way to create a special evening for each other. So the fact that he hadn’t done anything at all had to have been a deliberate move on his part, to send me a message.

I still feel conflicted about that day, because I can’t seem to separate the great parts from the miserable ones. I had one of the most fun, memorable birthdays ever with a group of people who remain some of my closest friends — but I also ended a relationship with a man that I was utterly convinced I was going to spend the rest of my life with (how naive we are at 21). Ever since then, I sort of dread and look forward to every birthday, wondering if it’s going to be just as great, or just as bad. I’m turning 24 this year and I don’t know what to expect. How do I shake this foreboding feeling and just enjoy my day?

- Minerva K.

This sounds like bad advice, but you need a rebound.

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All Comments   (7)
All Comments   (7)
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My grandfather passed away suddenly the day before my 11th birthday, and all the adults had to fly out of town in a big rush. My siblings and I had to spend several days with an aunt who was way too busy to do anything for my birthday - I got a gift from my parents days later. That was the time I changed from a boy to a young man.
I reflect on my beloved grandfather every year right before my birthday. Instead of being sad, I remember how much joy we had together.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hannah, if you're going to write an advice column, you're going to have to do better than this, "But I do get a bit judgey".
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Kind of an ironic comment. :)
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Yes, isn't it? I am really bothered by made up words like 'judgey'. They make the writer sound like an idiot.

Judgemental is a perfectly good word that would've worked in that sentence. Why not use it?
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Don't worry about rounding that quarter-century mark. My second quarter-century was much better than my first, and my third has been better yet!

I'm looking forward to your advice column, Hannah. I enjoyed your articles on Lana Del Rey, porn and relationships, etc.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Aw shucks, thanks guys! I'm not actually too concerned about polishing off a quarter century...life happens in seasons and I'd like to appreciate every one for its unique qualities! Good to hear it just keeps getting better, though! And thanks so much for reading!
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
The second quarter century is definitely turning out better.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
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