Things A Wife Should Avoid Saying To Her Husband
I admit it. In the past, I’ve made a comment or two (or three or four) to my husband that if I were caught on camera, one would think, O.M.G. What a major bitch! Yes, I know you’ve been there too, because what else are you bitching about with your girlfriends when the topic of husbands come up?
I’m here to tell you that I’ve learned to tame my sharp tongue and reactions because to me, the damage my words can do is surely not worth it. Especially when my words deeply affect my marriage or any close relationship in my life. As much emotion, anger or frustration I feel in the moment, the idea of saying something that could feel attacking, rejecting, condescending, etc. to my husband makes me feel truly sad.
Obviously, what’s giggled over “Ladies’ Cocktail Hour” stays in Ladies’ Cocktail Hour, but you are accountable as to how you react, respond and communicate to your husband. Frankly put, it wouldn’t hurt for you to scrape up some compassion as far as how you talk to him.
That said, below are five comments that will surely erode the relationship:
1. “What’s wrong with you?” Honestly, it’s comparable to chopping off his penis. Saying it in fun gesture is one thing, but when you respond with this comment because your husband forgot to pick up the milk on the way home, I can assure you that he’ll never ever offer to pick up the milk again.
Attacking someone with words is a sideways way of expressing your feelings. If you feel frustrated that he forgot “the one thing” you asked him to do, instead try this: “I know you’re not trying to forget what I asked you to do, but when you do forget what I’ve asked you to help me with, I feel like my needs don’t matter. Will you please do what you can to remember next time?”
What is the most hurtful thing a spouse ever said to you?
Image courtesy shutterstock / Ersler Dmitry
Seriously, it would probably be when she told me — after ten years of cooking careful meals, inventing new dishes, and taking cooking classes and reading cooking techniques books, and being acclaimed among all our friends and acquaintances for how good a cook I was — that she didn’t care about that, that she would have been happy with TV dinners.
Several months before our separation (and eventual divorce), she was filling out our tax forms and said, aggravated, “This makes me want to divorce your ass. You’re costing me money.” I should have walked out the door.
In the midst of an argument,saying: “And another thing. Do you remember the time you did . . . ” when that was 20 or more years ago.
Could we be spared from these graphic images about chopping one’s penis off? I’m quite attached to mine.
Unfortunately, the image is all that dominating women and the media are concerned with. A man with no penis is what they all seem to glorify and want.
…and NPR thinks it’s hilarious.
Refusing to make a decision, asking me to decide and then bitching about it. That whole passive-aggressive schtick leaves me absolutely cold. If you didn’t want the @#$%^&$ dog, you should have said so when the kids asked and not dropped it in my lap assuming I can read your mind. For the love of God, Montresor, don’t get me started.