5 Habits That Will Transform Any Introvert Into a Social Butterfly
Here’s a secret that you would not guess if you met me in public: I’m naturally introverted. I was very shy as a kid, I’m still perfectly content to go to dinner or a movie by myself, and I enjoy working alone. That said, I’m also one of the best networkers you’re ever going to run into. I’ve been hired by a presidential campaign and consulting confirms because of my blogger contacts. I do speeches at Tea Parties, I write articles on how to communicate with people, and my Facebook page is nothing but pictures of me hanging out with cool people and political celebrities. Here’s something a blogger wrote about me just two weeks ago.
* John Hawkins will walk up to any woman or group of women — including the stunning Dana Loesch and Katie Pavlich — and begin chatting them up for photos. I have a vision of Hawkins’ foyer that is lined with hundreds of photos of him hugging every woman on the center-right scene….
* John Hawkins knows everyone. He is an uber-networker and can connect you with the full spectrum of conservative thought, from National Review to Breitbart.com.
* John Hawkins is funny. At #BlogConCLT, he had me literally crying and gasping for breath as he outlined various possible “list columns” like “The Top 12 Places You Should Never Wear a Speedo With an Afro-Wig Under It.”
I’m not rich, famous, or good looking — yet. So, how did I get so much better with people that my Myers-Briggs score actually switched from INTJ (introversion, intuition, thinking, judgment) when I was younger to ENTJ (extraversion, intuition, thinking, judgment) now?
1) Approach: If you’re determined to meet a new person, the easiest way to do it is to be the one who walks up and says, “hello.” This is actually not as tough as it may seem. People get wrapped up in what they should say, but the truth is that it doesn’t matter all that much. Personally, my favorite is, “I’m John Hawkins and I don’t think I’ve met you yet,” but I’m confident that I could walk up to someone and say, “Meow” or “I bet the weather is great on Mars today” and still have things turn out well. That’s because people watch your body language and pay attention to your tone more than what you say. If you seem completely comfortable, confident, and friendly, they’ll just assume they must have misheard you and keep chatting. Just be content to meet people, enjoy yourself, and move on if you get bored. 99 times out of a 100, I get a good reaction doing that and the 1 time out of 100 that I don’t, I assume there’s something wrong with them, not me.
Why?
Indeed.
Why not?
That’s not an answer.
I am tired of seeing introversion conflated with shyness. The two are not the same thing, and do not by any means always correlate…In fact, I’d bet that most shy people are “failed extroverts”.
Introversion means, that one is energized by ‘alone time’, and one ultimately is SELF-centered/directed, while extroversion means one is energized by crowds, and is ultimately OTHER-centered/directed.
Some introverts are “social butterflies”, while some extroverts are hermits.
This is a real peeve of mine, because not only do people try to conflate shyness and introversion, but now I am seeing introversion conflated with being withdrawn/isolated, eg, “The child had previously been outgoing, but had become introverted after (some trauma).” Err, no s/he didn’t-it appears introversion/extroversion is inborn, and again, neither automatically implies anything about number of friends, ability to communicate, number of social engagements per month, etc .
I became introverted after 50 years of finding out other people are mostly assholes.
Stop hanging out around liberals.
LOL! Good advice!
I think you were trying to just be funny but your remark deflates the intensity my statement originally had and, in a way, confirms my point of view.
Though I may get accused of failing to “lighten up” it is just this sort of response that annoys me and makes me avoid people. Pnina’s response below states it clearly.
I’ve no desire nor need to know the goings-on of others when it’s gossip or who’s doing what to whom. I’ve plenty in my own life to concern me. My friends are small in number but I won’t catch them telling lies about me to other people I do not consider friends. In return, they have my loyalty in-kind.
I’ve long since retired my mind from going to social events and trying to maintain a plastic existence and be nice to people I really dislike. Many have told me “that’s just how the world works” but I think it would work better if people who disliked each other let their real feelings out instead of clouding the issue by putting on airs and pretending. It’s a most curious form of human behavior to me and it’s contemptible. Duplicity, I think it’s called and I hate it.
As an example, I have to get up and accept a years-in-service pin from the manager of our department and shake his hand. This guy has tried to fire me repeatedly for 15 years. Every time he tries, the labor review board reminds him that he’s not within his area of authority to do so; That what I was alleged to have done didn’t fit any criteria or grounds for dismissal. He has repeatedly stated how much he hates me yet I’m supposed to smile and shake his hand and say “thank you”? No. The letter has already gone out that I will not stand in front of the room and be made a fool of. And they can mail me my pin, such as I really don’t want it anyway.
Some say this is childish and I’ve been accused of such. But I ask them, “If someone kept coming to your house and badgering you and your kids to the point of distraction and then you saw them in a neighborhood block party, would you want to talk with them and chat and be all friendly? I doubt it. This guy is a one-man hate-fest and even if I act ‘the bigger man’ it simply reinforces the illusion that he’s some sort of leader and is respectable.”
Even devout conservatives have trouble with principles that I have. You can’t keep trying to destroy me then assume I’m going to come up and thank you for it. I have a right to my own dignity and thus, I’m not going to participate in your charade. For the record, the man is detested by my entire work group, some 144 people. But everyone seems afraid of him as well.
I am speaking of individual standards. Most people don’t look at things the way I do as they were brought up in the TV generation where they can pretend that “everything is ok” by the end of the show, when in fact it’s not.
It escapes me how they can do this. “Just let it go” they say. But in my mind is a calculator that tabulates the severe blows to my career he has tried to inflict. Note: He has failed every time and thus has made it a personal endeavor to manipulate data and force others to write me up. Curiously, his name is never on any official correspondence and, he has never met with me personally, one-on-one, ever. Is this the mark of a respectable man? I think not. 15 years of this.
So, back to introverted. I am accused a lot of “living in my own head” which is not to be confused with living in an illusion or world of my own making. It is, instead, recognizing facts as measured against core values and how they stack up. I maintain my standards and many people don’t measure up. That includes whatever “leadership” is above me in the workplace. Most of them have never worked a day in their lives. They are card-carrying liberal elitists. They “call the guy” to paint their house or fix their car.
Also do not confuse this attitude with inflexibility. I can be very flexible if the situation warrants.
To me, calling “the guy” makes me dependent on others. And I don’t like the job that “the guy” does anyhow. Sloppy, careless and expensive. No. I’ll do it myself, thankyouverymuch.
And I don’t hang around liberals—at all. The few that we have at work get a wide berth from me. Plus, they have all the power in that they’re all victims. They are all in the “protected classes” of people (what a load of crapola THAT is) and thus, I do not converse with them, or even make eye contact for fear of being dragged around by HR for some imagined slight to their race or sexual perversion. Or, one of the feminazis who didn’t like that my gaze happened to fall on “her”.
This is NOT the nation I had hoped to come of age in. After so many decades of watching the bastards win, through nefarious means and perpetual whining, I take a stand where I can and thus it means that I keep mostly to myself. Seems to me that most of America doesn’t understand what it means to be an American simply because they are worried about being politically incorrect and having to keep learning new words to appease the “victims” of our once great society. They seem to be masters at it by adopting the latest screwed up attitude that the evening news tells them to.
It’s not that I’m pro-active about it either. I get where I stand in society. I’m in the evil, white, male, heterosexual class and that automatically makes me the enemy. But I can still choose to avoid being anywhere near it, such as my job will allow and I can certainly choose with whom I associate. I do not actively pursue making friends with blacks, gays, lesbians, transgender freaks, hippies, dippies, street people, demonstrators, activists, teachers, civil servants ( I hear they take umbrage to that title now), DMV employees, police, sheriff-deputies, etc, etc. All of whom feel they are very put upon and discriminated against somehow by not getting their “fair share” of the tax booty or some imagined respect they “deserve” from society in general. How sad. How pathetic. You made your bed with your choices, now lie in it.
Everybody’s a victim…put upon by “the man”. But for me, when I’m being beaten up by a mid-level executive, HR tells me, “What’s the problem? You’re white, heterosexual and male….you have nothing to complain about.”
So said executive doesn’t get my respect. Simple, effective and I can live with it and it drives them bats, which is a pleasant side-effect for me. No matter what they try to do to me, they will never ever hear me say a nice word about them nor hold the door for them, nor occupy the same general geography in the building that they do. Respect is still a two-way street.
Cynical? You bet your sweet ass I am.
A really neat mind dump, P.J.M.
So prove you’re cynical, and apply some of Hawkins’ advice on your superiors and peers. It’s really just mental jiujitsu, using opponents’ powers to overcome them.
It’s only acting, the easiest job in the world for which depraved high school dropouts are paid millions by Hollywood and New York studios. It’s only first grade “Let’s pretend” which anyone can do.
When you’ve won, sashay off to your normal INTJ self, which I esteem.
Now THAT’s cynicism, and it works.
Cynicism is nothing more than a pose, and it is antithetical to conservatism, or any belief system based on virtues.
Instead of proclaiming “most people are assholes” you should instead pay attention. They’re not. Most people are a mixture of good and bad, and there is a lot more good than you give credit.
Every parent has saved the life of their child or children not once but dozens, maybe hundreds of times. Even those who end up killing their children saved their lives many times before the awful day.
Every scrap of food you eat, the computer you use to whine about how horrible people are, the clothes you wear, the paint on your walls, every article used to build your house, the electricity that comes into your house, the grass and sidewalk outside, your car or bicycle–all these things were made not by a single craftsman who you know and trust, but by hundred of people who have no idea you even exist, and yet you trust their workmanship so much that you bet your life on it every day. You even PAID to have the products those faceless strangers created–traded your sweat for them. You actually put their products in your mouth, chew, and swallow. And use their products to wipe your bum afterwards, sitting on a commode made of GLASS, for heavens sake, that could break and cut you to shreds if the people who made it were such losers.
The world is full to the brim of marvelous, stupendous people who do noble deeds every day. So many good deeds that their actions are NORMAL. We don’t even notice them, because they are so commonplace. No, all we see are the exceptions, the aberrations, and consider ourselves superior because we’re so AWARE of the freakish actions of a few.
All cynics are poseurs, from Diogenes to P Jay Medilla. Pretending to be the one honest man in a sea of liars is patently absurd. Every single one of those liars also has many good and excellent qualities, and being a cynic is self-deception above all, blinding oneself to the truth by ignoring ubiquitous good and lamenting exceptional evil.
I respect the cynic no more than the atheist. Poseurs and frauds all. Even Nazi concentration camp guards were kind to their children. Seeing only the wickedness of everyone around you is simply the ultimate lie, and worse than any other kind because it deceives only the man in the mirror.
Better reading than the article.
I’ve walked in the same shoes.
LM**O!!!!!
I used to be much more out-going too. It seems like after I hit 55 or so, I just couldn’t be bothered anymore.
That’s funny. The more conservative I became, the more I began to see those “colorful people” in my life that way.
I second that. Though I happen to be also shy.
There are also communication problems between introverts and extroverts, especially in the more “extreme” cases, i.e. very introverted and very extroverted people. Introverts prefer deeper relationships with fewer people, whereas extroverts prefer having lots of friends. I can communicate with extroverts (with quite a bit of effort though), but I usually find them boring, as they would usually find me. They always want to go places and do things – they like events, events such as parties, shows, concerts, going out to this or that place. They talk about other people and what they do. They talk about their own activities. I mean it’s all focused on social events, activities, people (as in gossip), and external objects. I find all that usually boring. I prefer a more introspective one-on-one conversation with a close friend, and am more focused on internal realities, such as emotions, ideas, thoughts – which, of course, extroverts usually find boring.
I also need A LOT of alone time. That by no means suggests that I’m unfriendly or dislike people. Not at all. I just need time by myself to collect myself, process things, engage in my favorite activities (such as listening to music and reading, not partying) and think. It’s indeed very true that introverts are energized “from within”, that social interaction, and particularly social events (as opposed to one-on-one more in-depth conversation), exhaust our energy and we need alone time to “recharge our batteries”, so to speak. While extroverts are energized by social interaction. The thought of becoming a “social butterfly”, being invited to a lot of parties, hang around with many people, celebs and all that just fills me with horror and dread, though I can imagine worse things – like, for instance, having all my teeth pulled out.
Some people even feel sorry for you. They ask you what are your plans for the weekend and you say you plan to have a nice quiet evening at home by yourself, listening to music and reading the latest novel by your favorite author. I’d consider that a most desirable, great, delightful and satisfying way to spend the weekend, but the extrovert will assume you’re stuck at home alone since you weren’t invited to go out by anyone, so he feels sorry for you and invites you to a party… Which is the last thing you feel like doing.
Not all introverts will identify with the above because I’m an “extreme” introvert. People who are somewhat introverted might be closer in their preferences to people who are somewhat extroverted than to people who are very introverted.
Oh, I identify completely. The first essential point is that introversion is not the same as shyness (though one can be both, obviously). I am not shy in the least, but I am an extreme introvert (probably a 9 out of 10, if that makes any sense). It isn’t that I’m afraid of piping up or “meeting people,” it’s that I just don’t want to unless it’s the right sort of circumstances (the kind that facilitate prolonged, interesting conversation).
The second key point is that introversion is not something people are condemned to – it’s not something imposed on us. Most introverts like being introverts, wouldn’t have it any other way, aside from the constant grief we get for it. We don’t want to “learn how to socialize” (unless it has some practical necessity, i.e., making a paycheck).
There hasn’t been a lot of intelligent stuff written about it, but some people are piping up. The book “The Loner’s Manifesto” was pretty good in places, for instance, notwithstanding the author’s occasional attempts to attach introversion to leftist (or leftish) politics. In any case, I cringed when I read Hawkins’ piece above.
Good for you, Hawkins. And no thanks.
Very well stated.
What you said pretty much describes me to a T.
I’m pretty outgoing and I’m hardly ever alone. But when it’s time for me to go to sleep, I have to tell family members or whoever else is around that I can’t talk or even listen any more – I just have to go to sleep NOW.
It’s not being unsociable – it’s just my body and mind giving me signals that I’m out of both physical energy and cognitive resources. Time to recharge the batteries. Unlike some much younger people I know, I am no longer able to stay up and talk all night long!
Please say hello to John Calvin when you meet him.Thanks!
Or as Mr. Carlson, of WKRP, once reported his mother advised:
At least try to *act* normal.
Hehe, I also tested as INTJ. I used to have to psych myself up to call a stranger on the phone–introvert in the extreme. Now, not so much. I enjoy socializing but too much and I get grumpy. I have also used all your tips. #1 and 2 especially. I used to be an embarrassed wallflower, but now, as an adult, I don’t feel that I need to apologize for being introverted. I find that introverts are much more interesting people to talk to and are never stuck up like extroverts think they are. In fact, extroverts seem narcissistic to me–always needing to attract attention.
Or you could simply work in the restaurant business for about 20 years. Anybody who can survive that business and still be liked by people can talk to anybody. And if you still are able to stomach talking to people after 20 years in the restaurant business, you’ll also probably be able to run for president with all of the people skills you’ve acquired. You’ll be able to hold an entire conversation without offending anyone, you’ll be able to make believe you’re interested in what a person is saying even though you’re thinking, “Wow, I have to wash my shorts,” and you’ll be able able to talk about almost any subject for about 10 minutes before moving on to another table. Forget the books. Get a job in a restaurant and you’ll be the best networker in the world.
“Or you could simply work in the restaurant business for about 20 years…. you’ll also probably be able to run for president…”
Is that you, Herman Cain?
If you’re not a “food person” then working in other types of retail sales will accomplish much the same thing.
I am INTJ as well, and as the Angry Chihuahua stated above, introversion is not really the same as shyness.
I have excellent phone skills, I used to cashier in a busy grocery store, and I volunteer as an election judge. As an election judge I have to greet literally thousands of voters in about a 12 hour time period. I can do it. I can even enjoy doing it (which I do). However, afterwards I am exhausted and I want nothing more than to go home and spend some time alone.
I think this article would be good for anybody if they were interested in developing contacts, whether introverted or not.
Introversion is a feature.. not a bug.
Extroverts just talk to damn much about nothing…
In some situations, finesse is probably not too important, either. I recall one time, before a Sunday night church service, I saw a woman sitting off by herself on the side. I decided I wanted to go and talk with her, so I walked over, without really having any idea of what I was going to say. She smiled, seemed pleased, and I suspect was absolutely convinced of my honesty when I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I don’t usually do this, but I wanted to say hello.” It was probably the best greeting for a shy person. My own favorable first impression in that congregation was made by someone who brushed aside my handshake and went for an unexpected hug. I suspect that I also left someone with a good feeling about the first visit there.
Some people who are shy or introverted do want desperately to break out of their shells. That’s how I was a few decades ago, back in my teens and early twenties. Mr. Hawkins’ suggestions are very good ones. Working on things like my listening and conversational skills helped me greatly, to the point where people didn’t believe that I had once been painfully shy.
Like many introverts, I still need alone time occasionally, but I’m sure glad that I put into practice the kind of suggestions that John Hawkins offers. Not only will you feel more socially skillful, but people will just want to be around you more, if you are a good listener, etc.
I prefer to emulate Calvin Coolidge.
Run for public office: school board, PTA President, city council – a tried and true method for quickly becoming an extrovert. What you will find out is that many people talk a lot but actually know very little.
I hate people. No wait, no I don’t. Well, I do, but I don’t. Know what I mean? They make me so happy sometimes, yet othertimes, they just wear me out. Such is life. But I love hearing what everyone else thinks. I love good blogs like this one.
There’s nothing wrong with being introverted; it’s just that the higher prevalence of extraverts in American society makes it seem a problem. How about we have an article for once about how extraverts need to adapt to introverts, rather than numerous ones assuming otherwise? Here’s one: http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts
And it’s true, introversion /= shy. Though an INTP, I’ve got no problems with public speaking, or public appearances/performances, but they leave me feeling incredibly drained afterwards, and I much prefer to recharge with some private quiet time than go to yet another social event. Shy is the label that gets slapped on introverts merely because many extraverts can’t be bothered to understand us and assume everyone should be like them.
To my interpersonally undertutored mind, this sounds like a recipe for becoming a boor and a bore, the sort of bloviating glad-hander that only sheer good manners would stop me from abandoning in mid-sentence. Gads, for a social-butterflyswatter.
…And what in God’s name is a “high value” person?
transformation to social butterfly? run for public office to become an extrovert? really? no thanks. implying those actions would result in an upgrade means the authors of those ideas know nothing about introversion.
Its not just to run for office.
Its a matter of creating opportunities for yourself. Its great to have deep, meaningful relationships with a few close friends. But you’re not going to open up opportunities for yourself by refusing to meet new people and make a good first impression.
What he’s talking about here is acquiring some tools for breaking the ice, forcing yourself to make first contact, and get the ball rolling on some potentially enjoyable or opportunity-creating conversations.
“Introvert” is not the same thing as “shy”. I am an introvert who is usually the “life of the party” — when I go to them, that is. I’m aslo a trial lawyer who can easily work a courtroom. I just prefer my private pursuits. I have no desire to be an extrovert. Shy people, on the other hand, want to be extroverts – they just can’t do it.
Exactly. I am frequently speaking to groups, and I love it. But am ill at ease in closer, more familiar contact. I love humanity, and I can find the good in nearly anyone. But that doesn’t mean I want a lot of contact.
I’m a natural introvert and painfully shy and timid to boot. However few people who know me would think so. In my case I didn’t learn any tricks or study on it–it came like a bolt from the blue, while playing Dungeons & Dragons.
My characters in the game would do just about anything; completely confident, able to speak to anyone confront anyone, and never worried about anything. Obviously in a fantasy world that’s easy enough, but it suddenly occurred to me that these characters were, of course, a figment of my imagination. Their confidence, courage, etc, came out of my head. Nobody else kept me from being just like them–just me.
So I took a drama course in 8th grade and found that getting up on stage is easy; as the samurai would say “do not hesitate.” So when I feel a knot in my belly and really feel like decamping hastily from any social situation, I mutter the saying in Japanese (dunno how to spell it, but it sounds like ‘ah-YO-toe KO-may-doh,’ got it from Heaven and Earth) and move toward whatever is causing the trepidation. Turns out once I’m in the lion’s den I talk in self defense, and enjoy listening to others so it works out fairly easily. The real trick, I think, is simply to keep your face towards the worry and keep moving forward.
I can’t stand other people, for reasons Pnina and P Jay describe quite well. I prefer being alone to write books/comics/music. Sure, I’ve often been called a ‘good listener’, ‘good team player’, etc. I write books about how beautiful and wonderful life is and people are, so that I can avoid having anything to do with them.
If you can’t stand other people, who on earth are you writing books/comics/music FOR?
This is just wrong in so many ways. A true introvert detests small talk for the sake of small talk and socializing for the sake of socializing. A true introvert cannot just walk up to someone and start talking about nothing in particular. But get an introvert on a topic he/she is interested in, you can’t shut them up.
And as several have pointed out, introversion has nothing to do with shyness.
This article is just silly pop-psychology written by someone unqualified on the topic.
Buzz, you are right about what being an introvert is; INTJ here, been there done that got the battle scars.
I don’t agree with you about this article, though. The fact is, there *is* value in other people, and there *is* a minimum necessary ability in communication skills that is necessary to access that value.
The trick is that to me, “communications” means **language**. You want to say something, *say* it. We do not consider and frankly don’t care about, things like clothes and fashions. I’m an extremist on that point; I have a downright hostile indifference to clothes, normally.
I do not, however, delude myself into thinking that my dress is not part of my communication to others. “Fashion statement”, as often as it is rightly attached to conformist ephemera, contains a grain of truth: your clothes are a way to “say something”. You can and should get such things under control, so you are “saying” what YOU want to say. Being sartorially indifferent to the extreme is, to some, like running your mouth in a language you don’t actually understand, but they do. Now imagine what happens when your “random noise” happens to sound exactly like “fsck your mother” to the speaker of another language who happens to be in earshot.
If you don’t account for body language, clothes etc. for what they are — independent, non-verbal comunications channels — than you are going to be broadcasting random noise on those channels, and that’s going to precipitate reactions from others that you won’t be able to understand, that will seem arbitrary and pernicious to you. It’s deadly easy to develop a “woe is me, everybody is assholes” mindset in response to that, and now you have a feedback loop killing you.
So, as much as I’d rather be doing nearly anything else, I am willing to exercise a modicum of effort to dress style and body language to ensure that, at a minimum, I’m not sending out signals that undercut my goals and my “spoken” message. I learned this lesson in getting over dating difficulties, and now that I’m married, I do this to facilitate making business contacts. I can recognize how my normal preferences make me non-competitive in the marketplace, and that it’s a rare business that can be so choosy about its clients.
So I adapt. Extroversion is a competitive advantage. Since that’s not my normal manner, I seek to learn how to “wear” it when I need, and I don’t when I don’t.
“Extroversion is a competitive advantage.”
It depends on the kind of job you have or seek. If it requires working alone for long hours, deep and prolonged concentration, or contemplation and analysis, introversion is an advantage. Introverts are a minority, but I think that in certain professions introverts are in the majority. For instance, hitech, science, writing, music (maybe not pop), web development, psychiatry.
A true introvert detests small talk for the sake of small talk… But get an introvert on a topic he/she is interested in, you can’t shut them up.
Heh heh so true.
But I think you’re being too harsh on Hawkins. His only mistake was conflating shyness with introversion. It simply should be read as advice for shy people or for developing social skills, – omitting the reference to introverts, – and as such these are good tips.
I agree with previous posters about being bored with a lot of people. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert although probably only introverts feel that way. I am very tired of being forced to work in groups. I taught “gifted kids” for many years and found that one kid always dominated the group. If he/she was glib, the other kids just didn’t bother contributing anything. Only if they had something they considered very important at stake did they try to get their words in. The glib will conquor the world while many of the world’s most creative people, introverted, will contribute greatly to mankind..
Unfortunately, some VIPs have been very glib….and look how far they have gotten!
That is a moth!
While moths keep their wings spread while at rest, they also have hairy, fluffy antennae, rather than the thin “golf club” antennae that butterflies have.
I used to view my brother, “the loner”, as damaged goods and I was forever trying to get him out and about, meet people, have fun, etc. He finally got fed up with my needling and sent me a book, which totally changed my view about him… 180 degrees. “Party of One” by Anneli Rufus will open your eyes to those amazing folks who prefer being on their own, and enjoy every second of it. I have stopped pestering him, give him lots of space, and have thanked him for making me realize that “shared experiences” aren’t the only ones that matter.
A thoughtful comment section here for the most part; as someone stated earlier, the comments are generally better than the article.
1) Introverts are not in need of transformation.
2) Introversion is no disadvantage.
3) Introverts are not wall flowers.
Another reading suggestion for this thread: “The Introvert Advantage” by Marti Olsen Laney.
Thanks for mentioning Laney’s book. You’ve made me want to read it. (“Gifts Differing,” by Isabel Briggs Myers, has always been my favorite on this topic.)
In other words, to avoid being a wallflower, avoid being a wallflower.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
Introversion is a good thing. Introverts are not shy, in the least. They like to live in their own thoughts. They enjoy to be on their own, do their own projects, instead of a “group” thing. They think better, study better, work better when left alone. They have their own interests, and their intellect level is usually above that of the “social” butterflies. Many introverts have brought us great inventions in technology, medicine, space, etc. Let’s not change the introverts, please! This world already has way too many social butterflies.
Bless you BeckyS! You just summed me up in one paragraph! Oh how I wish I had read your words 20 yrs ago before I had learned to embrace and appreciated my ‘shyness’. Thank you!