1. Free Mark Knopfler!

Phew! A quarter century after the song came out, Canadian authorities have finally deemed Dire Strait’s single “Money for Nothing” safe for broadcast.

We’re told “one person can make a difference” like it’s a good thing, but usually that “one person” is getting old, harmless words and images banned — or new harmful words and images “mainstreamed” as “no big deal.”

In this instance, a lone Newfie complained because “Money For Nothing,” contains the word “faggot” – so a gang of bureaucrats spent a year “investigating” the “offending” tune.

The National Post’s CHRIS SELLEY (an individual I normally have no time for, and the feeling is mutual) semi-redeems himself with his report on their report — the latter logging in at over 10,000 words.

I can assure you that Selley is not making any of this up:

The first hint you’re in for something special is when the report announces it will refer to the naughty word in question as “the other f-word.” No, I thought, you’re not going to do that. You say you are, but you aren’t. It would be too stupid to take seriously. But then, there it was, over and over again: “There was little or no argument made in favour of the public acceptability of the other f-word”; “members of the audience might be offended by the use of the other f-word.” Incredible.

And so cheering gays across Canada took to the streets, finally free to dance upon them once again without being decapitated by old adult contemporary CDs being Frisbee’d at them by nostalgic homophobes or something please kill me now.

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