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Ed Driscoll

Voyage into Volvulus

May 26th, 2013 - 12:03 am
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Click on most photos to enlarge. If you dare!

Pro tip: If you look like anything at all like this when you reach the apex of your vacation, you are definitely doing it wrong.

Unfortunately though, that is indeed a photo of me taken on Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013, when I was actually much much better than I had been. My wife refrained from taking any pictures at the nadir of this story. All of which is why I, writing this up in retrospect,  think I’ve just returned from the Apollo 13 of vacations. Or maybe the Fantastic Voyage of vacations, considering that a miniaturized camera and high-tech equipment were sent deep into the nether regions where the Sun. Does. Not. Shine.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Even before things began hitting the fan, so to speak, in a way, my timing in getting away on vacation was ill-fated: the week that the Obama administration was very visibly melting down, with scandals on all fronts, my wife and I skipped town for a 9-day long cruise through the Caribbean followed by 3 days visiting friends and family in New York, or at least that was Plan A. Still though, unlike El Rushbo, who always claims to think that bad “Progressive” news happens when he’s away, I don’t think my rep is quite that big enough to say that the Obama-ites deliberately picked this week to implode.

The flight out from San Francisco Airport on Wednesday, May 15th was remarkably uneventful, though the in-flight magazines provided by American Airlines were a hoot. There’s the base magazine distributed throughout the airplane cabin, and “Celebrated Living,” American Airlines’ “Premium” magazine, which can be found in their Admirals Clubs, and onboard their planes, in the first and business class cabins. Nothing tells your executive passengers that they’re part of a swank, exclusive First Class One Percent Livin’ Large elite group like a last-page magazine profile of the drummer from a heavy metal group, with a toothpick dangling from his unshaven mug:

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Paging David Brooks — your idea of “bourgeois bohemians” has officially exhausted itself, along with the rest of the American limousine left. And paging heavy metal: the idea that there’s any sort of “rebellion” involved is done as well. Why it’s as if Keith Richards had himself photographed endorsing Louis Vuitton luggage. (Oh wait…)

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All Comments   (20)
All Comments   (20)
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Thanks for the kind words, everybody. And for those asking, I definitely plan to schedule a follow-up visit with my local MD ASAP.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
i hope that somewhere along the way it has been pointed out that you need an elective colon resection. much better than an emergency unprepped, but not something to mess with.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I will never again complain on vacation, unless it's because of some dire medical emergency.

So glad you're home and well.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Weirdly, this is the second of my friends/contacts -- the other is Speaker, Steve -- to almost die from this.
And I agree. Next time my husband tells me we need to do a cruise, I'll show him this article. Vacations should be four days in Denver, me with my laptop and a pile of work to do.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Oh, Ed, that is a horror! I'm sure that Nina's great organization skills helped a lot, but something like this happening is a recurring nightmare for me!

So glad you recovered so well. I have horses and goats, and I am always worried about them getting a twisted colon, but I honestly never thought humans needed to worry about that!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I can't believe that was your ambulance that my wife and I walked by in St. Marteen ... small world. I have read your writing through Instapundit often. We were praying that whoever was sick would be ok and I am glad to learn your story had a happy ending. Sorry you missed the rest of the cruise.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
In that first picture, you look like you would be good casting for a movie about Woodie Allen feeling sorry for himself. But perhaps I repeat myself.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Ah, yes -- twisted bowel. James Herriot has an amusing chapter in one of his books (of the "All Creatures Great and Small" series) where he diagnoses a horse with twisted bowel.

Though they probably didn't throw you on the ground and roll you to untwist the bowel, as they did to the horse. Did they?

All kidding aside, I can empathize with you. I've been sick, I know the miseries of modern medical treatment, and that tremendous feeling of freedom and relief now that you're no longer blocked and impeded. The sun is shining again, isn't it?

Email me sometime, and I'll tell you about joke about the pig some researchers plugged up with a cork, just to see what would happen. The punch line is, "The last thing I saw was that poor monkey, trying to put the cork back in."
.

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I was bitten by a dog in Bali. My mind never recovered.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Don't complain too much. About 25 years ago, I had a patient, a 40s woman, who got a bowel obstruction on a Russian cruise ship. To treat it, they stuck needles through her abdominal wall into the bowel and drained the gas. It worked for a while but the needle holes leaked and she wound up home with me fixing them.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Forty years in the third world and the US military gave me an in-depth 'feel' for socialized medicine. It is coming to the US with a vengeance unless Obamacare is repealed. Won't it be really fun when you are in desperate pain and all the medical staff are AFSCME government bureaucrats.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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