Whoever writes the headlines for the New York Post isn’t paid nearly enough:
Left-leaning Mediaite is suddenly remarkably prudish-sounding in reaction:
On Monday, May 2nd, many New Yorkers awoke expecting their beloved bearer of ridiculous headlines, the New York Post, to come up with an insanely entertaining cover to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden. They came up with “Got ‘Em!“, which is basically the equivalent of waking up to a box of sweaters on Christmas Day. But, oh, did they make up for it today.Yes, the cover above is real, and it is spectacular: “Osama bin Wankin’!” it loudly proclaims, with the subheader “It’s Whora Bora– Porn Found In Laden’s Foxhole.” The image is a screencap from the famous video of bin Laden watching himself, with the title “Debbie Does Abbottabad” doctored in. Hundreds of years from now, archeologists will find this cover and middle school boys the world over will dream of having lived in the same civilization as the people who put together this cover.
Direct marketing writers know that the goal of the headline is to get you to read the advertisement or the sales letter, which does its best to convince you to buy the product. In this case, mission accomplished, to coin a phrase.
Well done, NY Post.
Let this be a lesson to all the pimple-faced jihad madrassa sweeps in Pakistan . . . We’ll remember you now as we remember UBL–you’re all just losers,perverts,voyeurs. For those pompous groupies of Al Qaida in the Magreb: Allahu Akbar couille-au-cul–Not. Losers.
I can’t imagine a more fitting monument to UBL here on earth than his porn stash. NY Post, thanks for giving us a proper farewell to UB-Wankin-it. May we all remember him thus.
The headline isn’t quite as good as “Headless Body in Topless Bar,” but it will do.
This is a definite NYP Hall of Fame entry, right next to the headline for the story on the citizen who got an immediate and permanent case of amnesia when he found out the criminal he was testifying against was the Dapper Don: “I Forgotti”
Didn’t you know, after centuries of wars the male population had decreased to the point that women vastly outnumbered the men, they had no husbands to take care of them.
So the wise and merciful Osama took pity on these women and allowed them to make hard core porn movies to survive.Of course if this is male porn, you know, the “women are for child bearing, the men are for pleasure” kind of porn then that too is wise and merciful as it has been written.
Lots of blooming and pearls, I’m sure.
Sorry about the back to back posts but it just dawned on me.
The new and temporary AQ spokesman could easily spin this in an Obama type fashion.
1.He could come out and speak 3-5 minutes of nonsense and jibberish, then move on to a different topic that has no bearing on anything of importance.
2.Simply state that the administration is lying, that is always stuck in the back of everyones minds being they are lying 90% of the time.
3.Blame the administration of being harsh,callous and intentionally trying to kill them, which they apparently are to get those poll numbers up.
4.A favorite tactic when these elitist regime types in office now get their hands caught in the cookie jar (usually for tax evasion as they do their level best to raise everyone else’s taxes).
The AQ spokesman could just say yeah, he had a vast library of all kinds of filthy, amoral hard core porn movies and he forced himself to watch them while dreaming of capturing one of the tawdry people so he could toss acid in their faces, rape them, pluck their eyes out and slice their privates off.
He could no longer partake in such festivities due to the obvious security issues so he did his part in praying for justice for these misguided people within the confines of his home.
In other words, simply admit but rearrange the deck chairs to fit a better outcome via blatant lies and deceptions of which the media will never question.
So, Islamists have TWO things the left hand is used for.
Through some secret contacts with the military and CIA I have obtained the names of the some of the DVDs Osama was watching:
Deep Goat
Behind the Green Burka
The Devil in Miss Khaleed
Infidel Sluts XXV
Debbie Does Abbotabad