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Dr. Helen

The organization FIRE asks this question in their video on the case:

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All Comments   (5)
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True Story: The year after I graduated college I would go back to play in a rock band with my college buddies who were still in school. One night I was walking by the dorms with my guitar on my way to a party when I was stopped by 3 young girls who wanted me to play for them. I told them I couldn't because I was going to a party. They said that if the party was lame I should stop by their dorm room later. Well, the party did turn out to be lame, so I went back to their dorm room which I discovered was packed full with 15 freshman and sophomore girls, most of whom were drinking. Frankly, I was hoping there was going to be some hotties there, but they were all dogs. I played my guitar for them, and everybody seemed happy. The tiny dorm room was so packed that I had to sit on the floor in the open doorway. Around midnight the Community Advisors started coming down the hallway telling people to be quiet for the night, and one of the girls who was drinking told me to close the door so they didn't get busted. I was never alone in that room with less than 5 girls. I never touched anybody or even hit on anybody because frankly they were all dogs. Many months went by and one night in the middle of winter I was taking a short cut through that dorm to get warm on my way to a gig. I was carrying my guitar, and there was this kid in the hallway who I asked what time it was. He looked at me all funny and spit out he didn't know what time it was and then he ran away. All of a sudden there were all these guys coming out of the woodwork and looking at me all weird. I got the distinct impression I was about to get jumped. Of course, I had done nothing wrong so I assumed they were going to rob me for my guitar, which is insane because this is a white middle class college that doesn't experience robberies or muggings. Then a cop shows up and wants to talk to me. I'm totally confused as to what is going on. I was lead into an office with the cop and this obese, ugly 19 year old female Community Advisor. Then I found out what was going on. The night months before when I had played guitar for those girls in that room somebody had said mentioned that I was playing guitar and had shut the hallway door (even though I had been asked to so they wouldn't get busted for drinking) to this passive aggressive Community Advisor and she had blown the whole thing out of proportion. Apparently in her mind closing that door meant I was going to rape somebody, even though the fact is there were still at least ten people in the room at the time. She had posted signs everywhere in the dorm to be on the lookout for this dangerous guitar player. When I heard this I went nuts! I specifically asked her if any of those girls had PERSONALLY accused me of any wrongdoing. I demanded that she bring any accuser forward. She finally admitted that, no, nobody had said I had done anything wrong. Then I pointed out that because of her hysterionics these "white night" guys were going to jump me thinking they were catching a rapist, but I would have assumed they were just common criminals robbing me and I would have used my martial arts skills and destroyed them. (I am quite muscular and athletic and was actually on the University Judo team... those guys wouldn't have stood a chance... the only reason they didn't jump me is because I am so physically intimidating.) I then told the fat Community Advisor chick I was taking one of the posters she had put up and I was giving it to my attorney and that she would be sued for defamation. The cop was speechless. He started in on me that somehow this was my fault but I told him to watch what he said unless he wanted to get sued, too. The cop let me go immediately, but when I came out of the room their were probably 40 students assembled out in the hallway who started cheering because they thought the cop was leading me away. The cop started shouting at them to shut up and then they realized I wasn't under arrest and the room got deafeningly quiet. So what is the lesson here? A law abiding white guy is always at the mercy of goofball hysterical women looking for attention. This 19 year old Community Advisor chick had never had any power in her life and now she's given a stupid job looking after freshman college students and she starts inventing crimes where none exist to make herself feel important. There are also all these punk "white night" bozos who can't get a girl on there own so they have to go along with the hysterics to try and convince a girl they are a "good guy" so hopefully she will have sex with them. The plain fact about that night is that NOT ONE GIRL HAD EVER COME FORWARD AND SAID I HAD DONE SOMETHING TO HER PERSONALLY! In fact, in my case, the idiot Community Advisor couldn't even point to anybody hearing that I had done something to somebody else! There wasn't even a crime! All it took for her to put up those signs that almost got me beat up was that she thought I wa
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
As I said in my mini-rant below, people need to stop making damaging assumptions - jumping to conclusions and believing someone's allegations without proof - no matter how satisfying said assumptions may make one feel.

It's one of the things I'd change about humanity if I could.

Our species' tendency to do this not only destroys reputations and employment, it lands people on death row.

I shudder to think how many people have been executed over the centuries ( and today in many parts of the world ) because of damaging ( but useful! ) assumptions.
35 weeks ago
35 weeks ago Link To Comment
A family member asked me to house-sit for them.

I refused to do it.

I refused because there was to be a 2-3 day period where I'd be alone in the house with a 14-year-old girl staying with them.

Before going through the experience of being fired for harassment, I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

I learned from the experience that when a girl/woman says she was touched, raped, assaulted or harassed? She WILL be believed.

YOU will be assumed guilty until such time Divine intervention floats down from the clouds to exonerate you.

All it would take for this girl is to say I did something inappropriate. And with nothing more than her words - I'd be toast.

If I was fortunate enough to avoid prosecution and prison, my reputation would be destroyed in the court of public opinion because people don't wait for PROOF. The allegation, itself, is proof enough to many people.

People LOVE their damaging assumptions.

NO ONE should be believed without proof. There's nothing civilized or just in believing a woman's unsupported allegations.

But this is what's happening.

Police & prosecutors make convenient and useful assumptions. The result is the West Memphis Three, Duke Lacrosse case and more.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
Due Process? For men when a woman is involved? Good luck with that.
38 weeks ago
38 weeks ago Link To Comment
I tend to agree with you.

The pendulum has been swung too far in the other direction now. Law-makers and HR departments have over-corrected for the wrongs that needed to be addressed.

Now it's men ( with some exceptions) being wronged.

And do you foresee ANY politician ( at least one who wants to stay in office..) standing in front of a TV camera and stating that we need to improve the rights for men in harassment cases and rape/assault cases?

Not a chance.

It's as if people are afraid of being labelled misogynists for suggesting/encouraging fairness & due process for men.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
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