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Dr. Helen

Today, Rush Limbaugh’s show included a discussion of a piece on the Zimmerman case and our culture’s fear of men and talked about my book, “Men on Strike”:

There aren’t any men anymore. Being a man is a crime. Being a man is something that the powerful institutions in the country are trying to weed out of our culture. Because it’s dangerous, it’s predatory, it’s brutish, it’s barbaric. And this is a direct descendant from the feminist movement….

RUSH: By the way, folks, I made mention yesterday that the interview in the next issue of the Limbaugh Letter is Conrad Black about his book. It’s Flight of the Eagle: The Grand Strategies That Brought America from Colonial Dependence to World Leadership. The previous issue interview was Dr. Helen Smith, and I read this piece today by the guy in the American Spectator by Matthew Flynn on what’s wrong in our culture vis-a-vis men. Helen Smith is Ph.D. She’s from Knoxville, Tennessee, and she’s got a book, too.

Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream — and Why It Matters, and it is excellent. I’ll tell you, this is something that more and more people need to seriously think about, the whole concept of “manly” is being erased from our culture. That’s been going on for quite a while. It has serious, serious consequences, and we’re living them. So her book is Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream — and Why It Matters, by Dr. Helen Smith.

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All Comments   (6)
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Hello Dr. Helen Smith. I appreciate your efforts to highlight many of the injustices men face in society. I am however critical of MRAs and libertarians. I probably qualify as a “White Knight” in the parlance you’re using.

I have written an article giving my overall take on some of the things you’ve said and on MRAs in general you or the other readers here might be interested in.

Enjoy!

Some thoughts on Dr. Helen Smith and the Shortcomings of MRAs
http://secularpatriarchy.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/some-thoughts-on-dr-helen-smith-and-the-shortcomings-of-mras/
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
I read Dr. Smith's book over a month ago, and it expressed my thoughts on the matter. It was good to know that I was not the only one that shared my concerns. Before any man gets married, he needs to understand the laws of his state and the attitudes of his society. I am married to the same woman for 42 years, but the world was a very different place when I got married. There is no way that I would ever consider marriage if I were a young man in today's culture. The risk is not worth the rewards. I have seen so many men's lives destroyed by divorce and the punitive nature of the legal system toward men.
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
Well, Dr. Helen, as you point out in your interview, the great irony here is that this issue harms women more than men. And there can be no resolution until women realize that fact.

I suppose a resolution could be accelerated if more and more men treated women the way I do. I mean, I'm not a cad or a pick up artist. I treat women with respect. I'm polite and courteous, fun to be with. It's just that I understand the law and know that I am held accountable under the law.

My solution to the problem is really very simple. Marriage is out of the question. I do not allow her access to my property. I certainly do not allow her access to my money. We both have jobs, houses and cars. We both have money. So if she wants to get together, we'll agree on a place or an event, and meet each other there. If she wants to get intimate, we'll agree to share a hotel. After the date, or in the morning, we go our separate ways.

Is there any romance in a relationship like that? No, not really. Is there any future in a relationship like that? No, not really. Would I prefer be in a relationship that involved romance and a future? Yes, I would. But unfortunately this culture, this marriage contract, and this legal system prevents it. So I came up with the only solution I could think of, separate lives.

She can take care of herself. Ever since I was 12, I've had girls tell me, "I don't need for you to take care of me." Okay.

If I'm on a date, say we're having dinner at some restaurant, and she starts making snide comments or belittling remarks, which happens quite often, I just stand up, throw $20 on the table and leave. She can drive herself home.

If she comes to my house and knocks on the door, I step outside and close the door behind me. What can I do for you? "I wanted to see where you live." You don't need to see where I live. No way am I going to allow her into my house, because I know for a fact that the minute she leaves all she has to do is say "He tried to rape me!" And I will be in a world of trouble.

I once had this friend who was dating this girl, and he broke up with her. She called the police and said he was a major cocaine dealer. Saturday morning, we were kicking back on his couch, watching TV, and this tactical SWAT team burst in, held us at gunpoint, and ripped his house apart. They found nothing of course, because it was all a lie. But it did scare the hell out of us. This is what I'm talking about. All she has to do is make an accusation, and law enforcement comes storming in.

I only meet with women in public places. I only have sex in hotel rooms. Since she pays for half, there can be no question as to why she was there.

I've dated women, and after a few weeks, she asks, "Is this all there is? Dinners and hotels sex?" She wants to move into my house or she wants to get married. When I tell her that's not going to happen, she gets upset.

I'm nor going to argue with her. I try to explain to her that the terms and conditions of the marriage contract are unacceptable, and that the law and the court system make cohabitation impossible. She gets more upset and stomps off. Oh, well, on to the next girl.

If more men treated women like that, it wouldn't take long before women began to understand that this is their problem. When she realizes that all she has to look forward to is work and going home alone, then she will start considering changes to the contract and the law.

I doubt there will be an organized men's rights movement. Men just don't do that. I know that women don't have any interest in changing the way things are, because they currently have all the power and advantages.

So my proposal is for men to make a concerted effort to live separate lives. Oh, yeah, women will complain about it. They want romance. They want love. They want a future. When it becomes apparent that they're not going to get any of that, then things will change.
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
I read your interview in the Limbaugh Letter, Dr. Helen. I thought you presented yourself well and made some excellent points. So I took it over and gave it to my mother. Here, read this.

After a while, she came over and the first thing she said was, "Now I understand why you never got married." We started talking about the subject, when my aunt, her older sister, called. She had just read the same article. My mother took her phone back over to her condo, and they talked about it for almost two hours.

You're having an impact, making an impression, Dr. Helen, at least among older women. My mother and my aunt, in their 70s and 80s respectively, are from a different era. They grew up respecting men. They're very conservative, and they both have a disdain for feminism, because they think it's stupid.

I doubt your book will have any influence on younger women. They're too caught up in their own bad selves. I hope it will have an influence on younger men and motivate them to organize and stand up and speak out for their rights.

But you're right, men don't know how fight with women, their only option is to back down and walk away.

That's how I've lived my life for decades. First hint of bad attitude, and I'm out the door. I live alone, cook my own meals, clean my own house, and wash my own clothes. I also do my best to take care of my mother, since she's all alone after my father died.

This is how I look at the current situation, which has been building up for decades. I have an education, a job, a salary, a house, and a car. She has an education, a job, a salary, a house, and a car. This is the definition of equality, which is what women say they want.

We meet at a party or a club or an event, wherever. Maybe there's a spark, and she wants to go on a date. Fine, meet me at this restaurant or club, we'll see how it goes. I'm not going to pick her up, bringing flowers, like some schmuck. I have a car. She has a car. We agree on a date. She can drive herself.

She wants to take it further than that, as in get intimate? Fine, meet me at this hotel. And in the morning, we'll go our separate ways.

I do not allow her any access to my property. I certainly do not allow her any access to my money. It's very simple really. She wants to go out? Fine, let's agree on a place to meet.

I am a romantic, to be sure. And I know how to treat a lady. But I'm not a fool. Feminism destroyed romance. So there's no point to playing that stupid game.

Women use sex, or rather the promise of sex, to manipulate men. And most men will fall for it. But I won't. It's just sex. I am not about to expose myself to betrayal, abandonment and bankruptcy for any woman. And I will never pay for another man's child. Marriage is out of the question.

You may call that opting out. I call it being smart.
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hi GwainsGhost,

I have heard from many men, both young and older that they have given the book or an article on it for their mother or significant other to read. Most of the women have responded with some understanding such as you described. That is encouraging. I think that education about what is happening is important, though as you point out, many will not care or not listen. That is why men and boys must organize and stand against misandry and discrimination. The problem won't fix itself.
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
The lack of men's rights and the abuse we face in every aspect of our society, our legal systems, earning, education, incarceration, media, and family life are only starting to become an issue because it's becoming an inconvenience for women: either as parents of a man struggling with family court, or watching their sons' demoralization in school, or seeing decent men vacate the dating pool, or refusing to marry.

When it was just an issue of how it affected men, the public couldn't be bothered, and couldn't care less, unless he was gay, or a minority, or both.

Even though it's a male issue, the only voice the press listens to, even for something core to men, is women. I appreciate your work in bringing our voice to the table, and in your book, you bring that to the fore.

More of Hillary Clinton's twisted perspective: The victims of war are the women who's husbands and sons don't come home.

Which tells me, when there's a workaround where the state and society can continue its misandry while removing the impact on women, then we'll be right back to the game of pandering to women for votes and monies, and men will be right on track to being non-persons.

I think men look at the rest of the Victim Industry, much of which has made it's profits by vilifying various classes of men, and decided that the *last* thing we want is to be associated with *those* hysterical, over-the-top, blatantly lying, blaming and shaming, hucksters. We see them as the parasites they are, and we keep our distance.
40 weeks ago
40 weeks ago Link To Comment
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