Christina Hoff Sommers: “Are video games sexist?”
Many readers have written me to ask what I think of the Ray Rice situation. I have a few thoughts. Yes, perhaps the NFL does have a domestic violence problem, but does it only go one way? How much of the violence in many relationships, like that of the Rices, is reciprocal? And where was the outrage on the domestic violence front when Tennessee Titan’s player Steve McNair was slaughtered by his 20-year-old girlfriend:
Police recently concluded that former NFL star Steve McNair was fatally shot in his sleep by girlfriend Sahel Kazemi in a murder-suicide. Yet while there are more than 10,000 media entries on Google News for Steve McNair, only a few of them even mention the phrase domestic violence.
Violence by women against their male partners is often ignored or not recognized as domestic violence. Law enforcement, the judicial system, the media and the domestic-violence establishment are still stuck in the outdated “man as perpetrator/woman as victim” conception of domestic violence.
Misandrists like Amanda Marcotte and others lament that domestic violence is always a man’s problem. No, it is not. It is so much deeper than that and pretending that only men can stop domestic violence is foolish and adds to the problem. Linda Mill’s important book Violent Partners: A Breakthrough Plan for Ending the Cycle of Abuse “challenges the prevailing orthodoxies and maps out a plan to change domestic abuse treatment programs. Drawing on case studies and research from her abuse prevention programs, Mills reveals that intimate abuse is far more complex than we realize, and develops a program for healing that engages everyone caught up in a violent dynamic.” The book discusses how much domestic violence is reciprocal (both partners participate) and how this can escalate violence. Addressing both partners in the intervention can often be more beneficial.
Our misandric, PC society is determined to use the NFL, the military, colleges and any other places that men congregate to prove that men are perpetrators and women victims in all interpersonal situations. It is not that simple, as the McNair case above demonstrates. If the NFL chooses to address domestic violence, then so should any place where women congregate as intervention is fruitless without both sexes being involved. Phony domestic violence programs are always about putting men in their place. Real solutions look at the complexity of the problem and seeks solutions, not vengeance against all men.
Unmarried American adults outnumber their married counterparts for the first time since the federal government began tracking that data in 1976, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
There were 124.6 million single Americans in August — accounting for 50.2 percent of the 16-and-over US population, the BLS data showed.
Eric Klinenberg, an NYU sociology professor who tracks marriage trends, predicts the unmarrieds will probably be edging their married peers by this small margin for the foreseeable future….
But while the numbers might look stark, Americans are still getting together — they’re just not racing down the aisle.
“Just because people are not getting married doesn’t mean they’re not partnering and cohabitating,” said Karen Guzzo, a sociology professor at Bowling Green State University.
How much of the decrease in marriage rates is because men are on strike? How much of it is for other reasons? Whatever the reason for singles taking over in the US, it is important that the laws reflect equality in partnerships between men and women, or better yet, the law should stay out of personal relationships as much as is humanly possible.
However, I doubt that will happen so men must be ever vigilant as the society changes to one of a nation of singles that they do not end up being responsible in traditional ways for women while the women pretend to be “empowered.” Given the lack of due process, the tendency to blame men for relationship problems and unequal treatment in domestic relations, men might be better off not living too long with any one woman. This is bad for society and families, but might be a better solution for individual men.
What is your take on singles now outnumbering the married in the US? Pro or con?
A reader writes in:
Definitely need to get a vasectomy for sure to make sure I can’t have kids because I don’t want them. Let’s say I’m in a serious relationship, do you feel it’s my obligation to disclose my vasectomy to whoever I’m dating? If so, at what point should I tell them, or is it something I can just keep to myself. I don’t think it’s good to lie but at what point does it become her business? Thank you!! “larry”
I wrote him back a short response:
Hmm, that is an interesting question. I don’t think you really owe someone you are casually dating information about a vasectomy but I suppose if it became more serious (e.g. you talk about long term, living together etc.) you would want to tell her. If she cannot handle the information, it will tell you something about her and whether she is right for you or not.
What advice would you give “Larry” on when to tell a perspective date that he had a vasectomy? Or should he tell her at all?
Women For Men Blog: “And folks say we’re exaggerating the New World Order. Welcome to SheTaxis, New York City taxis exclusively for women. Read it and weep. Better yet, read it with the genders reversed. That’d make front page headlines.”
NEW YORK — New Yorkers can already choose from yellow taxis, green cabs or black livery cars. They can tap a smartphone app for a ride, or simply stick out an arm. They can pay with cash or credit.
Now there is one more option: a female driver.
A new livery service starting Sept. 16 in New York City, Westchester County and Long Island will offer female drivers exclusively, for female riders, according to its founder. It will take requests for rides through an app, and dispatch drivers sporting hot pink pashmina scarves.
The service will be called SheTaxis — SheRides in New York City because of regulations barring it from using “taxi” in its name — and aims to serve women who may feel uncomfortable being driven by men, or who simply prefer the company of other women. The app will ask potential riders if there is a woman in their party. If not, they will be automatically redirected to other car services.
Perhaps there is a bright side of this for men: it will free up more taxis in NYC for them–while women wait for a SheCab, a guy can get in the next cab coming down the street.
I was not surprised to read that more unemployed people are shopping rather than job hunting:
On the average day, an unemployed American is more likely to be shopping—for things other than groceries and gas—than to be looking for a new job, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Only 18.9 percent of Americans who were unemployed (in surveys conducted from 2009 through 2013) spent time in job search and interviewing activities on an average day, according to BLS. Yet 40.8 percent of the unemployed did some kind of shopping on the average day–either in a store, by telephone, or on the Internet. 22.5 percent of the unemployed, according to BLS, were shopping for items other than groceries, food and gas…..
An unemployed person—on the average day—was more likely to spend time on shopping, sports and recreation, socializing and leisure, than they were searching for and interviewing for a new job, according to BLS.
According to BLS, 96.7 percent of the unemployed spent time during the average day participating in “socializing, relaxing, and leisure” activities and spent, on average, 5.93 hours on those activities—or more than twice the number of hours they spent job searching.
“They were teenage boys, and their alleged assailants were female employees tasked with looking out for their well-being.”
So, what has been going on at Woodland Hills? A 2010 investigation by the Tennessean found a series of allegations that had gone largely uninvestigated and unpunished by authorities. One of the facilities’ kitchen employees, the newspaper discovered, had reportedly given a 17-year-old boy chlamydia, and later lived with a different male juvenile who she had been accused of abusing while he was in the facility. The woman was cleared in four separate state investigations despite failing a lie detector test. She was ultimately convicted only after she turned herself in to police. In another case uncovered by the paper, a different female guard went on to marry a former inmate after he was released from the facility. The woman kept her job even after her marriage came to light.
Such incidents are sadly common inside our juvenile justice system. In the most recent federal survey of detained juveniles, nearly 8 percent of respondents reported being sexually victimized by a staff member at least once in the previous 12 months. For those who reported being abused, two things proved overwhelmingly true, as they were in Woodland Hills: They were teenage boys, and their alleged assailants were female employees tasked with looking out for their well-being. Nine in 10 of those who reported being victimized were males reporting incidents with female staff. Women, meanwhile, typically make up less than half of a juvenile facility’s staff….
The attitude that these boys bear some blame, however small, is dangerous in a vacuum. It’s downright reckless when we know that 90 percent of reported incidents involve male juveniles and female guards. “That minimizing of a serious crime is really contributing to the crisis,” says Stannow, “and we are talking about a crisis here.”
The common theme with most woman on boy sex seems to be that whether the teen is being abused in a juvenile facility or is a 14-year-old forced to pay child support to the grown woman who committed statutory rape against him, somehow he is always to blame.