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Klavan On The Culture

My Great Idea for Radical Gay Hell

April 4th, 2014 - 11:04 am

My approach to gay rights is strictly libertarian: do what you want; don’t scare the horses. Gay people are among the nicest, most civilized and broad-minded folks I know. Plus, like Jews, being hated has sharpened their senses of humor. They make me laugh — which is what I’m here for.

Most of them, like any civilized person gay or straight, would be disgusted and horrified by the witch-burning of Mozilla co-founder Brendan Eich. The bullies and thugs who engineered his loss of a job over his donation to a traditional marriage cause — and I don’t give a rat’s whether he donated ten years ago or yesterday — should be forced to take How-To-Be-An-American re-education classes.

Or here’s an even better idea! You remember the Jean-Paul Sartre play No Exit? It’s an existential vision of hell:  three people stuck in a room together, perfectly chosen to get on each other’s nerves, attacking, blaming and seducing one another for all eternity. “Hell is other people.”

Well since Fred Phelps recently died…  and since he was the founder of Westboro Baptist Church…  and since they’re the clowns who go around disrupting the funerals of U.S. soldiers because they feel America is too nice to gay people (“God hates fags!” their signs declare.)…  how about they make a room in hell where Fred and the people who got Eich fired can, you know, hang out together? Forever. And also ever.

No wait, maybe that wouldn’t work. After they got past the whole gay thing, they’d probably find out they have way too much in common.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
Sorry Andrew. Your homosexual friends would turn on you in a New York minute, if you publicly criticized homosexuality.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'm sorry Andrew but there are only two kinds of gays:

1. Those that want to destroy you because your personal views are different from theirs.
2. Those who stand idly by while the first group destroys you because your personal views are different from theirs.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
The small c communists are asking, "Are you now, or have you ever been a defender of traditional marriage?"

16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (62)
All Comments   (62)
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Please explain how it is libertarian to support yet another special interest group feeding and the public trough? One would think and hope a libertarian would rather treat all citizens equally under the law and not grant special rights and privileges just to married heteros and married gays. Apparently, some 'libertarians' completely buy into big government and the special deals they hand out to some and not others - to get votes and keep themselves in power.

I have a test for you. Ask your gay friends if they absolutely insist on marriage or if they're primarily interested in the financial and legal benefits that single people still cannot get.
15 weeks ago
15 weeks ago Link To Comment
The "D's" are busily creating yet another perpetual source of campaign money. The gay rights folks are being welcomed to the permanent democrat plantation where they will be played and squeezed for generations. Cheers -
15 weeks ago
15 weeks ago Link To Comment
Andrew proves he does not believe what he writes about homosexuals, because he falls all over himself right out of the gate to pile on the (false) compliments (nice, civilized, broad-minded) in his attempt to buy them off, or at least be eaten last.
He further proves he does not believe what he writes about homosexuals when he includes the obligatory slam of Fred Phelps and WBC (which was totally unrepresentative of Christendom and soundly condemned by every kind of Christian existant) in orderto redirect their fury.
This is the best PJM can do? We could get this kind of sill pabulum, this kind of wear-it-on-your-sleeve cowardice anywhere nowadays, for heaven's sake!
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
Notice the similarities between gay "activists" and Islamic fundamentalists? Me too.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Gay people are among the nicest, most civilized and broad-minded folks I know."

I think that should have been phrased differently:

"I know some very nice, civilized, and broad-minded people -- and some of them are homosexuals."

What happened to Eich, and to others before him, is proof that not all homosexuals are nice, civilized, or broad-minded. (Come to think of it, that last adjective is...no, perhaps we shouldn't go there.)
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
How does this sound:

"Jews are among the nicest, most civilized and broad-minded folks I know."

Actually, Christians don't run into gay bars and dance on the tables to irritate gays or have a "Hunky Jesus" contest right out in public that has gone on for 30 years, so I am saying "compared to what?"
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
Nope.

There are no roommates in hell, good or bad. No buddies shoveling coal. No party.

It's eternal solitary confinement. As Jesus described it:

"cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’"

"And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. "

"The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers, and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. "

"So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth."

16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
Except they wouldn't get on each others nerves, they would just incite violence.

No, if you want to thoroughly irritate radical gay activists what you have to do is put them in a community with only themselves and absolutely nobody else. The only "heterosexuals" are the people who have had sexual appearance plastic surgery and hormone treatments who are attracted to others who have had such treatments.
Nobody to be outraged by how flamboyant they are.
Nobody to be outraged by the depths of their paraphilias.
Nobody to be impressed by their "courage" in expressing their "individuality".
And everybody to frenzy because someone else isn't getting it "right".
Everybody to frenzy because their pronoun isn't respected.
Everybody to frenzy because their paraphilia isn't as celebrated as they want it to be.
Everybody to frenzy because being "flamboyant" gets in the way of building a "better" society.

For that matter, that is hell for any radical activist - being alone with their own kind, with nobody to blame or convert but themselves.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Gay people are among the nicest, most civilized and broad-minded folks I know."

I have worked with a lot of gay people over the years. In many respects, they are like straight people. But "nicest, most civilized and broad-minded" is, in my experience, not only not an accurate description as an average, it is even less true as an average for gay people than for straight people.

Part of the problem is that homosexuals are disproportionately victims of childhood sexual abuse, leading to a host of serious problems as adults. As even some papers studying the problem are beginning to admit, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3535560/, it is likely that at least for a large fraction, adult sexual orientation is because of that abuse, not the other way around. Hence not only the disproportionate substance abuse, suicide, and depression among gays, but also the incipient fascism that has showed up in this incident (and many others). People filled with rage about horrible things that happened to them at age 8 are not particularly prone to behaving nicely and sensibly when they are in a position to exercise absolute power.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Hey Fred - didn't expect to see you here! You did good service for us all those years. Yeah, they never suspected how a little church that no one went to had such a very very large travel budget, did they..."
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
Put all the haters in one big pit and let them spend eternity gnawing on each other.
16 weeks ago
16 weeks ago Link To Comment
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