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Klavan On The Culture

Where O Means Offense and Gore Means Frank

September 9th, 2013 - 5:35 am

That’s not nice!

There are some things in life we are supposed to care about but just don’t — like, for example, women’s sports and men’s emotions. And leftists, in their constant attempt to turn the world into what they think it ought to be instead of what it jolly well is, always seem to be working overtime to strip the world of things we actually do care about (Men’s sports? Women’s emotions?) and fill it with ostensibly-worthy-but-undoubtedly-boring crap.

So many on the right see a Nanny State plot in the recent move to make football safer. And I have to confess, whenever I hear someone whining about the dangers of the sport, I imagine Green Bay’s hulking linebacker Clay Matthews showing up at the whiner’s house and pounding him into the carpet. Well, hey, I can dream, can’t I?

But all that said, I’m so delighted the season’s back! Whatever the Nannies are planning, the game still looks like the game as far as I can tell. And speaking of Clay Matthews, that chop he delivered to Colin Kaepernick’s throat after the QB had run out of bounds looked pretty old school. So it’s all good.

Anyway, I know the left ruins everything and turns everything into politics and has to be guarded against constantly and stopped whenever they want anything at all even if, like a stopped clock, they are occasionally right about something (maybe). But with our economy in a shambles and our foreign policy an embarrassment, it’s just great to forget the whole thing for a couple of hours and return to the world where O means Offense and Gore means Frank.

Unfortunately, Frank didn’t make many of his amazing runs in the season opener. But maybe we should chalk that up to global warming.

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