In the spirit of the New Transparency, I will come right out and tell you that I have done some shameful things before with pants. I have dropped pants, torn pants, flung pants, lost pants, pantsed pants and gotten into pants where I probably didn’t have any business whatsoever. Nothing to top this, however:
While most Transportation Security Administration employees are busy groping people or taking naked pictures of them, the cops say one of those employees was putting fliers’ electronics down his pants.
The Broward Sheriff’s Office says 30-year-old Nelson Santiago stole around $50,000 worth of electronics over the past six months from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport’s Terminal 1.
Santiago — a TSA officer since 2009 — was caught earlier this week by a Continental Airlines employee taking an iPad out of someone’s luggage and stuffing it into his pants, the cops say.
I will also tell you that I own an iPad. I love my iPad. I take my iPad pretty much everywhere except bars, sporting events or hot tubs. But I have never, will never, put mine (or anyone else’s) down my pants.
That’s just wrong.