Too Late for Two Cents?

Our lovely Asparagirl temporarily lost sight of the Five Stages of War Grief. It’s easy to forget, because they’re much different from those of regular grief. So as a public service of this website, here they are.

First, regular grief:

1) Denial.

2) Anger.

3) Bargaining.

4) Depression.

5) Acceptance.

Those are fine and natural for burying grandma or getting a B- on that all-important trig final. But war requires something a bit else:

1) Say “Holy shit” after they blow up your people without warning.

2) Draw a bead on the bad guys who did it, bad guys affiliated with the bad guys who did it, and bad guys who dress like the bad guys who did it.

3) Pull the trigger.

4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 until all the bad guys are either dead or cry uncle.

5) Rub their noses in their own shit for 50 years, or until they finally undestand in that deep, scary place in their hearts why it’s in their best interests not to be bad guys ever again.

It worked for Germany and Japan, didn’t it?