The PJ Tatler

Too Good to Check: Kim Jong Un Has Gotten So Fat He's Broken His Ankles

Call Michelle Obama, STAT.

Kim Jong-Un, the North Korean dictator, has become so fat while in office that his ankles have fractured under his own weight, it was reported on Tuesday.

The 31-year-old, who has looked increasingly portly since taking power, had to undergo a hospital operation after putting too much strain on his ankles during a gruelling round of official engagements.

The treatment has also been linked to his unexpected failure to attend a recent session of the Supreme People’s Assembly, according to a Pyongyang source who spoke to the Chosun Ilbo newspaper in neighbouring South Korea.

Unlike other members of North Korea’s political elite, for whom a sudden absence from public life often means they have been killed or imprisoned, in Kim Jong-Un’s case, in Kim Jong Un’s case it is said to be down to Elvis-style weight gain as a result of his unhealthy diet.

He is now believed to weigh at least 20 stone as a result of his fondness for heavy drinking and imported Swiss cheese, which he gained a taste for while at school in Switzerland.

Oh, the Swiss cheese eating commies are the worst, aren’t they?

Stay tuned here for more…um…breaking news on the dictator’s health.