The PJ Tatler

California, Maryland Senators Place Smack-Talking Wagers on Super Bowl

With less than a week to go before the Super Bowl, senators from Maryland and California are placing wagers on the big game.

“You can be sure we’ll be cheering on Ray Lewis and the whole team in his last game as the Ravens fly high to victory!” Sens. Barbara Mikulski (D) and Ben Cardin (D) wrote in a challenge to the West Coasters, invoking the name of the controversial linebacker who forged a plea agreement on a lesser charge after a 2000 indictment on murder and assault charges.

“In fact, we’re so confident in our Ravens that we’re willing to wager a world-class feast: some delicious Faidley’s crab cakes, Berger cookies and a cold bottle of Heavy Seas beer to wash down the delicious taste of defeat,” Cardin and Mikulski continued. “And so they won’t look ruffled after the Ravens prevail, Senator Barb will even throw in a can of one of Baltimore’s favorite hair sprays.”

Not sure what the last prize would be — or if it’s a statement about Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s (D-Calif.) hairdo — but the musical Hairspray is set in Baltimore.

Feinstein and Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) responded to the challenge with a letter of their own to the Maryland delegation.

“For more than 60 years, 49er fans have celebrated the incredible accomplishments of this storied franchise, including five Super Bowl titles. Today, our team continues this tradition of excellence under reigning NFL Coach of the Year Jim Harbaugh and talented athletes who play with grit and heart, from our explosive young quarterback Colin Kaepernick and powerhouse running back Frank Gore to a hard-nosed defensive unit that is the envy of the entire league,” they wrote.

“Of course, San Francisco sports fans have had many opportunities to cheer on our teams in championship games in recent years. In fact, after the San Francisco Giants swept the Detroit Tigers in the World Series in October, we enjoyed celebrating with Michigan chocolates and wine courtesy of Senators Levin and Stabenow, who were kind enough to make a similar wager,” Feinstein and Boxer continued. “Now we look forward to once again enjoying the spoils of victory.”

They offered up Dungeness crab, Napa Valley wine, San Francisco’s finest sourdough bread and a selection of Northern California cheeses as their end of the wager.

The Niners — a longtime love of yours truly — are five-point favorites to beat the Ravens.