The PJ Tatler

Build the Death Star Now

During the Great Depression, Franklin Roosevelt created a massive federal program to employ millions of Americans in constructing roads, bridges, public buildings, and other infrastructure projects. Called the Works Progress Administration, Wikipedia describes how truly large this program was:

The Works Progress Administration (renamed in 1939 as the Work Projects Administration; WPA) was the largest and most ambitious New Deal agency, employing millions of unskilled workers to carry out public works projects,[1] including the construction of public buildings and roads. It also employed artists, writers, actors and directors in large arts, drama, media, and literacy projects. Writers documented local and state histories, artists painted murals and other works for new federal post offices and other buildings.[1]

The WPA provided food for children and redistributed food, clothing, and housing. Almost every community in the United States had a new park, bridge or school constructed by the agency. The WPA’s initial appropriation in 1935 was for $4.9 billion (about 6.7 percent of the 1935 GDP), and in total it spent $13.4 billion.[2]

At its peak in 1938, it provided paid jobs for three million unemployed men (and some women), as well as youth in a separate division, the National Youth Administration. Headed by Harry Hopkins, the WPA provided jobs and income to the unemployed during the Great Depression in the United States. Between 1935 and 1943, the WPA provided almost eight million jobs.[3] Full employment, which emerged as a national goal around 1944, was not the WPA goal. It tried to provide one paid job for all families in which the breadwinner suffered long-term unemployment.[4]

Today, we have nearly 23 million Americans unemployed or under employed. And once again, Americans are looking to government — or, at least the Democrats — to create a massive infrastructure construction program.

But, if we’re going to be spending all that money, why not spend it on something useful?

The Hill:

Forget the White House beer recipe — what the American people really want is a Death Star.

Well, 495 of them anyway.

A petition on the White House’s “We the People” website calls for the United States to find funding and begin construction on a Star Wars-style Death Star by 2016.

“Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016,” the petition reads.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

While funding for a Death Star is no doubt jeopardized by the threat of sequestration, the petition could attract an official White House response if it gets 25,000 signatures by mid-December.

The White House’s petition website has sparked some interesting causes, from a call for Texas to secede last month to helping secure the release of the White House beer recipe — which happened in September after more than 12,000 people signed the petition on the White House site.

As for the Death Star, 495 people have so far joined the petition as of Monday morning.

Luke and Leia aren’t on the list of petitioners. But there is a “Darth V” from Burlington, N.C., who signed on Dec. 1.

What — you don’t think this would work?

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Seriously, it would be an excellent way for the US to regain its competitive advantage, strengthen our military, and make the Chinese, Russians, Iranians, and all the rest of the thugs of the world cower in fear.

There will be no one to stop us this time.

The laser cannons shouldn’t be a problem. But in order to generate the planet destroying death ray, we may have to violate a few EPA regs and send the greens to Tatooine in order to build it. No doubt the environmentalists would be sorry they raised a stink.

Apology accepted.

No doubt building the Death Star would be expensive. But we could have at least partial offsets by loaning out the Death Star to Disney who recently purchased Lucasfilms and hence, the rights to the Star Wars franchise. Disney is planning another 3-6 Star Wars epics as we speak. And there’s got to be an angle for Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise too. Maybe they could update Mickey Mouse and turn him into a Sith Lord, wreaking havoc on the Disney cartoon universe.

You don’t know the power of the dark side!

Alas, they still need more than 24,000 signatures for the White House to respond. Please click on the link and place your name on the petition.

And may the force be with you.