The PJ Tatler

Noted astronomer postulates that capitalism killed off life on Mars

You may have heard of him.

Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela’s socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

So there you have it. That face is the face of Mars’ last rich man. The red planet was really just a big red state.

Have a nice day!