Happy National Siblings Day (From an Only Child)!

Yeah, that's right. I'm an only child. This day is meaningless to me. 

It bothered me more as a child — it seemed like all of my friends and cousins had brothers and sisters at home. Built in best friends, if you will, even when they weren't necessarily getting along. My BFF, Melissa, and I used to have sleepovers all the time in elementary school. She had an older brother, Blake, on whom I had a massive crush, and a younger brother, Brad, who was hilarious and fun to play with. She may have complained about it, but she always had someone around who had her back, and I loved it when they spent time with us. On the other hand, I think she enjoyed the peace and quiet of my house and the fact that there was no competition for attention from my parents. The grass is always greener, I suppose.  

As a teenager and young adult, there were times when I wish my parents had someone else to focus on, so I could live my life without so much scrutiny, and when my mom got sick, and I had to take care of her by myself for several years, there were nights when I would literally curse the fact that I didn't have siblings to take on some of the burden. I remember, during that season of life, a friend of mine telling me after having her son that she wasn't planning on having any other children, and I bit my tongue, but all I could think was that she was making a huge mistake. 

But now that I've reached middle age, I'm actually grateful to be an only child. Several of my friends have lost parents in recent years, and I've watched as that has come between them and their siblings, whether they're fighting over inheritances or simply dealing with changing family dynamics. When I lost my mom, there was none of that, thank God. Losing a parent with whom you're really close is hard enough as it is. 

I also think that growing up as an only child made me resilient. One of my favorite musicians, André 3000, has often spoken on this. He was also an only child, and he's said that you're basically forced to learn how to be by yourself. 

I know so many people who are not comfortable being alone with themselves, but I thrive that way. I can feel lonelier in a room full of people than I do when I'm alone. I'm also incredibly independent, maybe too independent at times, but I do feel like always having to fend for myself has made me a stronger person. 

I'm sure some will say there is something I'm missing out on, some deep bond, and I suppose that's true, but I could argue the same for the way I grew up. I think people who do have siblings are missing out on the strength and freedom that can come with being an only child. 

Oh, and don't call me spoiled. That stereotype is so old and played out. Okay, maybe I like things to be a certain way, but I don't go around throwing tantrums over it. Sheesh.  

Anyway, I did a little digging, and it turns out National Sibling Day actually has a bit of a sad origin story. It was created by a woman named Claudia Evart, whose two siblings, Alan and Lisette, died in two separate terrible accidents when they were fairly young. 

"I lost both of them in tragic accidents. Like many, I have these photographs of my brother and sister, who are both gone, but remain with me daily, not just in these pictures, but in my daily thoughts and in my heart, making me understand the everlasting bond we have with our siblings," Evart has said.    

According to NPR, in 1995, about a decade after Alan's death, she was celebrating her birthday, and it hit her that her brother and sister would never be with her to celebrate again. "It's the most powerful relationship you ever have in your life," she said.  

Here's more from her 2024 interview with NPR: 

Evart says she created National Siblings Day both to honor her own siblings' memories and to encourage widespread recognition of the unique bond between siblings. It's on April 10 every year because that is Lisette's birthday. 'We have Mother's and Father's Day. Why not have your siblings recognized?.

...Evart says she'd like to see people mark the day by taking the time to cherish their siblings. 'Whether you're reliving childhood memories, planning an outing or simply spending quality time together, let's make this day special. Reach out to your siblings, near and far, and let them know how much they mean to you.'

Evart is now the founder and president of the Siblings Day Foundation, a nonprofit volunteer organization. According to the foundation's website, "The Siblings Day Foundation message of love and honoring one’s siblings have reached beyond our borders, as Siblings Day is now celebrated in countries, such as Australia, Brazil, Canada, Ghana, India, Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Nigeria, Philippines, Singapore, South Africa, Sweden, and United Kingdom." 

The NPR story also notes that while this is not an actual holiday, "former Presidents Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama have all issued letters recognizing the day."   

Well... Happy National Siblings Day to those of you who've got them now or have had them in the past. I hope you celebrate and honor your brothers and sisters in a way you see fit. I'd love to hear about your siblings in the comments section. Or, if you're in the minority like me, tell me your thoughts on being an only child. Do you love it or hate it?