Lemme Guess, FREE STUFF!
The good news is that there is only one debate this time around.
The bad news is that there will be more nonsense on the stage at one time.
I don’t know if they are all actually insane. I was a Psych major but I dropped out of college to go on the road and do stand-up, so my expertise was left unpolished.
The years I’ve spent as a political activist have made one thing clear to me, however: the policies that this group of Democrats are proposing are insane.
OK, well most of the people left in the race are a little nuts too:
Tom Steyer: "[Republicans] think if they lose in 2020… the rules are going to be fair and they're never going to win again. And they're right. If we win in 2020, they're done forever. But it's scary for us, too, because if they win, literally it could be the end of the world." pic.twitter.com/WX375qI3jZ
— The Hill (@thehill) October 15, 2019
Here is a man who is brilliant enough to have become a billionaire and — with a straight face — is telling the American public that the only choices before it are a one-party state run by the Democrats or THE END OF THE WORLD BECAUSE REPUBLICANS.
This totally not bat#&!* crazy Democrat will be on the debate stage tonight offering these mainstream views in his pursuit to become the most powerful man in the world.
Kamala Harris was squawking from the Flail Zone on Monday, expressing her disdain for the fact that Sam Walton had a great idea, spent his life working hard to make it successful, then shared his success with his family:
"When the families that own Walmart make more in 60 seconds than the average American family makes in a year, justice is on the ballot."
Sen. Kamala Harris spoke at the UFCW Presidential forum in Altoona, IA. pic.twitter.com/dW7fCRintL
— The Hill (@thehill) October 15, 2019
When they aren’t making it perfectly clear that they think President Trump is the devil, this group of Democrats is fond of portraying Amazon and Walmart as pure evil. In the fevered minds of progressives, two hugely successful corporations that are woven into the fabric of American society for the better deserve being demonized. Bernie Sanders managed to get in two anti-Amazon screeds in the first debate last summer.
One of the greatest things about being conservative is that I never spend any time at all being upset about the money that other people have. If one is to take the Democrats running for president at their word, it seems to take up a lot of their time.
I’m a big fan of “the rich.” As a self-employed person, I’ve found that they are the most likely to give me a little something called “the paycheck.” I’m a big fan of those.
Yes, justice is on the ballot, Sen. Harris. The freedom to work hard, make money, and maybe even keep some of it, is real justice.
But They Don’t Want It To Be Rigged Again Or Anything
A Pre-Summary of the Debate
For those who are going to go ahead with Taco Tuesday and avoid watching the debate, I will offer a prescient recapping-before-the-fact that I’m sure will hold up well tomorrow.
1. ORANGE MAN BAD
2. FREE GOVERNMENT MONEY TREE
3. IMPEACH AND STUFF
4. TULSI LOOKS TOTES FAB
5. MEDICARE FOR ALL BECAUSE OBAMACARE SUCKED BUT WAIT NO IT WAS AWESOME WE JUST NEED SOMETHING MORE AWESOME OMG WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE
6. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, TULSI
No, They Couldn’t
Most major cities worldwide could soon be underwater pic.twitter.com/D0v8vtG5oC
— Business Insider (@businessinsider) October 15, 2019
London police arrest protester dressed as broccoli pic.twitter.com/3VSLb1jz2f
— Reuters (@Reuters) October 14, 2019
From the Mothership and Beyond
Buzz kill. Look, when I want to get away from an ex…Nobel Prize for Physics winner who discovered first exoplanet says humans will NEVER migrate to a world outside of our solar system, calling the idea ‘ completely crazy’
Police Keep Antifa Away From Columbus Statues By Taping Job Applications Onto Themhttps://t.co/tsoKiFOykk
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 15, 2019
The Kruiser Kabana
Lotta Guacamole To Eat Before This Goes Bad
While average avocados weigh about six ounces, the Pokini family from the island of Maui received the Guinness World Record last week for an avocado weighing 5.6 pounds. https://t.co/maRR3b1BdP
— HuffPost (@HuffPost) October 15, 2019
I the weather is going to kill us in 18 months we should probably take a cruise or something.
PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”