News & Politics

Dead Campaign Walking -- but Jeb's Still Planning to Win GOP Nomination

Hello, I must be going

Behold the new slogan of the fading Jeb Bush candidacy: where there’s life, there’s hope:

Jeb Bush and his supporters still have a pile of money to spend — remnants of $100 million raised when he seemed early this year to be a sure bet. They have an expansive ground operation in New Hampshire. And allies have just began a new ad campaign in Iowa. But nothing they have tried so far has lifted Mr. Bush’s terrible poll numbers. And with just four weeks remaining until voting begins, Mr. Bush needs to do something to save his candidacy.

It may be too late: Other campaigns appear to have counted him out altogether. But, in extensive interviews over the past week, aides and key allies to Mr. Bush described a long-shot plan to pull off what seems all but impossible — winning the Republican nomination for president. The plan has six elements…

Those elements, according to the New York Times,  include staying on the attack, hoping to avoid a complete embarrassment in Iowa, finishing no worse than third in New Hampshire, snuggling up to Lindsey Graham (to pick up his 0.001 level of support?), getting a helping hand from W., and spending the rest of his dwindling campaign coffers on the one single thing that makes the hearts of the krack kadres of kampaign konsultants leap with joy: an advertising blitz.

No, seriously. That’s it. Now stop laughing.