02-16-2018 12:28:03 PM -0800
01-23-2018 09:55:12 AM -0800
01-18-2018 11:02:22 AM -0800
01-09-2018 01:54:15 PM -0800
12-22-2017 09:40:32 AM -0800
It looks like you've previously blocked notifications. If you'd like to receive them, please update your browser permissions.
Desktop Notifications are  | 
Get instant alerts on your desktop.
Turn on desktop notifications?
Remind me later.


50 Is the New Crappy

I just got back from the mammogram I don't believe in.

In the spring, my doctor handed me an envelope decorated with a cluster of bright balloons and the words "Happy Birthday!"

Alas, this deceptively cheerful package concealed the usual tips on diet and exercise, plus requisition forms for all the annual medical tests I'd be getting from now on.

The mammogram is bad enough. I got my first one before having my doubts about the procedure confirmed, and now I'm stuck in the "Ontario Breast Screening Program" because "free" "health" "care."

But now I also have to get blood work for cholesterol (how 1970s!), glucose and a bunch of other things, plus an ECG.

The worst part: I need to send little swabs of poo* through the mail. (Although it could be worse: it could be my job to open those envelopes. And a special shout-out to my Facebook friend for sharing her "float a Chinet dessert plate in the toilet" trick.)

It's all part of the splendor and pageantry of turning 50.

(* As you can see from the video below, which my tax dollars helped pay for, "poo" is the actual scientific term!)