4 Secrets from the Hidden World of Homeschoolers

Many people only see the spelling bee champions, or the homeschooling family who sent six kids to college by age twelve. I assure you, those kids are not the norm. Not that there is such a thing — “normal” and “weird” are in the eye of the beholder. There are, however, common threads that bind most homeschoolers together: a secret language and shared experiences that only kids similarly educated can fully embrace.

Today, I will help those of you outside of our community to understand our unusual way of life by letting you in on four geek-culture experiences unique to homeschoolers.


1. Public School Group Field Trip Phobia

Every homeschooling family knows this scenario: They pull up to the museum (or zoo, or park), excited for a day of learning and exploring, only to find their  mini-van (or 15-passenger van if they’re a quiverfull family) behind a line of school buses. Well, that ruins everything!

They know that at every exhibit they will now be forced to deal with hordes of (often unruly) children being forced to “line up!” by their teachers. Of course, being a homeschooling family, they adapt. They change their strategy — instead of starting at the logical beginning of the museum, they begin at the end (or the middle, or at some random station where there is no crowd). Throughout the day they gaze sadly at the children in the lines, wondering if they will ever enjoy the freedom of roaming a museum or a zoo unencumbered by “the line.” They pity the children when the bus arrives at 1:30 and the teacher hurries the children onto the bus to get back to school on time, even though the museum will remain open for another 3 1/2 full hours (though they’re secretly glad they now have the place to themselves).