HOW TO WIN A FIGHT, OR DODGE A LAWSUIT? Thoughts inspired by Lawrence Kane & Kris Wilder’s How to Win a Fight: A Guide to Avoiding and Surviving Violence.

I agree that, for the most part, middle-class Americans need to be taught to be more, rather than less, aggressive in self-defense situations. And as for how you’ll feel if you kill someone in self-defense, you probably won’t know unless it happens. But I recommend Col. Jeff Cooper’s discussion of the topic (pp. 24-26).

We are told from all sides that if one wins a lethal encounter, he will feel dreadful. It is odd that no one seems to have felt dreadful about this until very recently. Throughout recorded history the winning of a fight has generally been considered a subject for congratulation. It is only just now that it has become presumably tainted. . . . a predatory felon who victimizes innocent non-combatants on the streets is a proven goblin, sentenced by his own initiative. Some men may be upset by killing him, but not anyone I have met.

Cooper suspects that this dreadful feeling is “primarily a public relations innovation designed to parry various sorts of preposterous litigation which have become common in our courts.” That’s probably right, and defenders are probably well-advised to fake devastation even if they really feel much better about the whole thing. That such fakery is required, however, is probably not a sign of societal health. As Cooper writes, “This sudden notion that there is something disreputable about winning in mortal conflict is peculiar and, I think, aberrant.”

UPDATE: Reader Bryan Rigsby emails:

I had the unfortunate experience of killing a man in self defense about 20 years ago. I experienced many of the “normal” immediate and longer term effects. But one significant realization I had after many months of guilt, was the startling (for me) conclusion that the guilt I felt was not for his death. I felt guilt for not feeling guilty. It was expected of me to feel regret. Many do feel guilt for killing another human being, and should not be made to feel that is unusual or unreasonable. But I do agree with Col. Cooper that much of this can be attributed to the victim’s perception of what the society or community expects.

Yes, such expectations have an impact.