Which is more important? I thought about this question as I read through a new book on fighting called How to Win a Fight: A Guide to Avoiding and Surviving Violence written by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder. I was excited to see my copy show up in the mail and I started reading to see if I could gain some insight into how to increase one’s self-defense moves.
I had previously interviewed Lawrence Kane, the author of The Little Black Book of Violence: What Every Young Man Needs to Know About Fighting for a PJTV show and one of the things that struck me about Kane and the other authors in this self-defense genre is how much focus is placed on avoiding a lawsuit or jail. Yes, those are good goals to have, but better ones are avoiding losing your life or your limbs.
The book starts out with a warning that self-defense is legal but fighting is illegal. “Readers are encouraged to be aware of all appropriate local and national laws relating to self-defense, reasonable force, and the use of weaponry, and act in accordance with all applicable laws at all times.” Next, a foreword by Sergent Rory Miller emphasizes how bad you will feel if you killed someone in self-defense. He goes on to let you know that “Maybe the relatives of the guy who attacked you, though they have been afraid of him for years, come out of the woodwork and get a small army of attorneys and start remembering how he was ‘a good boy, very caring’….” These family members and their attorneys will be looking to take your money from you. Or, you could end up in jail for defending yourself.
I’ve read books by Kane, Miller, and Mac Young who all cover similar ground (quite well; I recommend each of these authors). Intentionally or not, I believe they are writing for practicing martial artists, and that may explain some of the extra emphasis on the legal and moral ramifications of using violence. Martial artists spend plenty of time practicing the physical skills of hurting people without necessarily thinking through the consequences. There is also the cockiness factor, the I’m a Kung Fu bad ass, to deal with. A cold dose of reality about the legal and emotional fall out of a violent encounter is a good way to keep someone who thinks he can defeat an army with his fists Chuck Norris style from doing something stupid.
I agree with you though that for people who have no training in fighting that not acting or hesitating are the bigger risks when compared to over reacting. Miller in his book Facing Violence talks about freezing and how worries like legal ramifications can keep you from acting. The best thing to do is consider those issues in your training. Practice responses that are legal self defense given the nature of the assault. Striking the throat of an attacker in an attempt to crush his larynx is probably not appropriate as a counter to an angry drunk who grabs your shirt with both hands; that just isn’t a lethal threat. A take down would be more reasonable, so practice that instead.
“Striking the throat of an attacker in an attempt to crush his larynx is probably not appropriate as a counter to an angry drunk who grabs your shirt with both hands; that just isn’t a lethal threat. A take down would be more reasonable, so practice that instead.”
How do you know? What if they get back up even more angry and pull out a knife because of humiliation? I assume anyone attacking me does not have my best interests in mind and respond overwhelmingly. If they don’t want to get hurt, it’s very simple. Don’t ATTACK.
Caveat: I’ve been pretty thuroughly bullied/abused/attacked/gang-stomped throughout life, so it’s not out of the realm of reality to say I may be over-reacting. But I value my life and limb. I do not value the feelings of someone trying to harm them.
No, of course I won’t just out and out shoot someone for throwing a punch, but if the opportunity is there, I will break their fingers/nose/collarbone.
I was hoping for some actual advice on How to Avoid a Lawsuit after a Fight. Since I can’t hear it, I’ll give it. For reference, my 12-page abridgement of the Wisconsin Supreme Court Slugfest may be useful– look at http://rasmusen.org/special/wisconsin.pdf .
1. I was surprised that only about half of the Wisconsin justices took notes about the encounter after it occurred. If you’re in a fight, once you’ve caught your breath, write down your version of what happened. It will be more reliable, and courts will rightly pay attention to immediate recollections. (Plus you won’t misremember, say something wrong about, say, the color of the other guy’s shirt and impeach yourself as a witness later.)
2. Don’t talk with strangers. It might be evidence against you later.
3. Don’t boast on Facebook. It might make a jury dislike you later.
4. Be polite to the police. That may have been the problem in Barnes v. Indiana (see my amicus and webpage: http://rasmusen.org/special/barnes/ , http://rasmusen.org/special/barnes/0-Amicus.pdf
There’s probably a lot more, but I write as a theorist in both fighting and law. Can someone who really knows the score advise?
As someone who has been in several hundred physically violent altercations (as a result of a combination of lifestyle choices and jobs when I was a younger man), I will tell you that very, very few people are psychologically trained or naturally suited to violence. There is a point in any confrontation when a decision must be made as to the use of force. Most people know it when it happens, few respond properly. The reality is that if this vast majority are confronted with someone who IS comfortable using force and violence, they are in deep trouble.
The only advice that I could give would be this… if you are ever in that situation and that little voice inside says that violence is immenent, pay attention. And if you choose to answer a threat with violence, do not hesitate. Your odds of survival are far greater if you are able to strike first. And remember, if you are confronted, the odds are that the thug confronting you WILL behave violently. Once you commit, you must also be willing to be EXTREMELY violent. If this is the path you are choosing, the objective is to completely eliminate the threat. You don’t push somebody down… you try to render them unconscious. Or dead. Think in terms of law enforcement procedures. If a cop draws and fires their weapon, they shoot to kill. They are trained not to try and shoot to wound. They try to COMPLETELY ELIMINATE the threat. As an individual, if you choose violence, that is the way that you must act.
The best course is to avoid violent confrontations altogether. The ‘bad guys’ have no moral or legal quandaries to consider. They will simply act.
Well, should I ever be required to defend myself I plan on suing the perpetrator’s estate (or anyone else aware of his propensity for violence who didn’t take action to impede/remedy the perps willingness and ability to hurt others) for the counseling to get over my feelings of devastation
In all honesty, if you’re reduced to reading a book about how to win a fight, you probably aren’t going to win.
““Readers are encouraged to be aware of all appropriate local and national laws relating to self-defense, reasonable force, and the use of weaponry, and act in accordance with all applicable laws at all times.”
if one has to do all this before and during a fight then it is safe to say the fight is already lost
best advice is to run away and only fight if there is no other option- if one has to fight best to try to kill or at least gain some space in order to run away
There was a incident at my children’s junior high school one day and I heard about it on the radio. Some weird-o had a gun (later determined to be a fake) and he was waving it around in the lobby for some reason. All the teachers locked the kids in the rooms. When we arrived, they wouldn’t let us anywhere near the school. When I finally got my kids back I told them, in no uncertain terms, that they were to knock the teacher down getting out of there or jump out windows. They were surprised and required hours of coaching to get them to understand that I had their back because the teachers and school certainly didn’t at that time. NO MORE SHEEP!