Ed Driscoll

The Vegetating Gray Lady

Kathy Shaidle spots this howler from another bastion of the Ancien Régime, in a press release put out by New York Times national editor Rick Berke:

Young Sulzberger named NYT’s Kansas City correspondent

Arthur G. Sulzberger (left), son of the Times publisher, “may be hard pressed to find vegetarian food amid all the barbecue joints, but he’ll have no trouble finding stories,” says a Times memo.

“He has an eye for spotting unusual and compelling tales, and bringing them to life with deep reporting and lively writing.”

“Not to mention cliched adjectives”, Kathy quips, adding, “Outside of Manhattan, ‘vegetarian food’ is widely available at things called ‘supermarkets.'”

And beyond that easily-found source, they can be located in .36 seconds using a “Website” called “Google” found on a relatively new technology called the “World Wide Web,” which has been around since the early 1990s, running on a slightly older platform called  “the Internet,” invented in 1969, by, ironically enough, the military-industrial complex. (Pinch, Punch, and likely the newest Sulzberger have actually heard of that last item, hence the lack of quotation marks associated with what is perceived to be novel and new.)

Kathy speculates that “The NYT will close its doors in five years.” On the other hand, in 2004, a now classic Web video called “EPIC 2014” theorized that the Times would only be available in dead-tree form within a decade, serving its elderly and sclerotic subscriber base who prefer their news the old-fashioned way. Good enough for Woodrow Wilson, good enough for them! From the above press release, it appears that the Times’ editors are already getting a jump on that model.

(And incidentally, speaking of Kansas the state, roll over Thomas Frank, and tell Barack Obama the news.)