Culture

Free-Bleeding Yoga—Just When You Thought Feminism Couldn't Get Any Worse

Image via Instagram/casa_colibri

If you thought the feminists couldn’t gross us out any further after the hideous and awkward “Vagina March,” where grown adults dressed up like genitalia and marched around with obscenities scrawled on signs, you would be wrong! Just in time to get your gag reflex going again, here’s Steph Gongora performing yoga while bleeding through her white pants—on purpose—to educate us, or something.

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I am a woman, therefore, I bleed. . It's messy, it's painful, it's terrible, & it's beautiful. . And yet, you wouldn't know. Because I hide it. . I bury things at the bottom of the trash. I breathe, ragged and awkward through the cramps, all the while holding onto this tight lipped, painted on smile. . Tampons? Shhh. We don't say those words out loud. Hide them. In the back pocket of your purse, in the corner of the bathroom drawer, at the very bottom of your shopping cart (please let me get a female cashier). . Events or engagements get missed. I'll tell myself it’s the PMS, sure, but it has more to with the risk of being "caught," at what…I'm not quite sure. . And I’m lucky. . Over 100 million young women around the globe miss school or work for lack of adequate menstrual supplies, & fear of what might happen if the world witnesses A NATURAL BODILY FUNCTION. . WHY? . Because hundreds of years of culture have made us embarrassed to bleed. Have left us feeling dirty and ashamed. . STOP PRETENDING. Stop using silly pet names like Aunt Flo because you're too afraid to say "I'm bleeding" or "vagina." Stop wasting so much effort hiding the very thing that gives this species continuity. . START talking about it. Educate your daughters. Make them understand that it can be both an inconvenience and a gift, but NEVER something to be ashamed about. Educate your sons so they don't recoil from the word tampon. So when a girl bleeds through her khaki shorts in third period (pun intended), they don't perpetuate the cycle of shame and intolerance. . This #StartSomethingSunday , I want to highlight @corawomen . . Cora Women is a 100% Organic tampon company. . But that’s not all. They are also breaking barriers. Making it ok to talk about periods, even on social media. Providing personalized, delivered tampon/pad orders right to your door. AND for every box purchased, donating a box of sustainable pads to girls who can't afford menstruation products. . Fuck yeah. That's the kind of stuff I can galvanize behind, NO money OR product needed. Just a mission I support on a topic we should ALL be talking about. . THIS IS JUST A LEAK, NOT FREE BLEEDING ✌🏽

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Because it’s not like tampon and pad commercials are on television giving us demonstrations of how exactly they work with diagrams and pitchers of blue water acting as menstrual fluid. No, we would not have any clue how to take care of our monthly cycles if it weren’t for these brave trailblazers who are just advertising some new organic cotton tampons, which, if this photo shoot is accurate, don’t work very well. The article claims Gongora is “free-bleeding” but in her post she says it’s just a leak while hawking the tampons I think are failing her. Great marketing.

Feminists have to make up stuff to be mad about now. Women in America have everything they ever wanted: divorce, abortion, polyamory, lesbianism, transgenderism, birth control, equal pay, voting rights and more. So now it’s time to invent problems to be upset about. Not enough people talk about period blood! So we are going to make everyone uncomfortable until we get our message out there that WE BLEED, DAMMIT! 

Who is living in the world today who doesn’t know this? But apparently, this is a real topic of concern in feminist circles. Ashley Judd was at the Women’s March screeching into a microphone about her “blood-stained sheets” and the shame she is forced to feel over it. I have no idea what they are bleating about. My period doesn’t shame me. It annoys the crap out of me. It makes me want to throttle people like Judd and Gongora while eating salted chocolate and clutching a hot water bottle. But at no time am I locking myself in my house, ashamed to go about my business because it’s that time of the month. These broads are out of their minds.

Remember that marathon runner who free-bled her way through 26 miles with blood dripping down her legs? She claimed she was doing it for the women in Africa who don’t have sanitary napkins. Well, how about we send them some? How does bringing third-world problems here help them? We don’t need to see you bleed all over fellow marathon runners or yoga mats in order to send some tampons to Africa. Don’t be absurd. To me this feels like a man-hating exercise. It appears to be geared to make men cower in the face of the almighty feminists, literally daring them to say anything about their bloody mess. Sane people everywhere would recoil from such public behavior, and rightly so, but if you’re a man, you’d better keep your mouth shut or have a bloody pad shoved in it like this poor guy.

Lately, I’m thoroughly repulsed by what popular culture is labeling feminine behavior, and unlike what Gongora suggests, I will not be teaching my daughters to follow in the footsteps of the period-obsessed. I’m going to teach them how to care for their bodies and keep their business to themselves. In other words, I’m raising ladies, not womyn.