You have to give Mark Wahlberg credit.
How many one-hit wonders go on to have not just a credible film career but one teetering on the A-list?
The erstwhile Marky Mark (“Good Vibrations”) is back on the big screen in “Transformers: The Last Knight.” And it’s … terrible. The fifth film in the series is dumb, noisy, incoherent and far too long. And that’s being kind.
“The Last Knight” isn’t just the worst of the five “Transformers” films (so far). It’s arguably the lousiest blockbuster ever released by Hollywood.
Everyone involved, including Wahlberg, should be ashamed. And while the actor has some impressive films on his resume, including “Three Kings,” “The Fighter” and the hilarious “Ted,” here are four other times when that Mah-kee Mah-k magic sputtered.
The Happening
Did writer/director M. Night Shyamalan really think he could scare audiences with killer bursts of wind? That alone should have made Wahlberg scamper in the other direction when approached to star in the director’s eco-thriller.
Instead, he signed on the proverbial dotted line. The result is a laugh-out-loud disaster, one even an Everyman performer like Wahlberg couldn’t salvage. He later confessed he hated the movie as much as everyone else but wanted to play a science teacher badly enough to take the gig.
Ted 2
If the original “Ted” didn’t exist this limp sequel wouldn’t make this list. But it does. And it proved riotous.
So the sequel, which ditches the first film’s love interest and novel premise, only comes to life once. Who knew Tom Brady could tackle a cameo about artificial insemination in a big screen comedy?
Besides, the notion that a profanity-spewing teddy bear could impregnate someone isn’t funny. It’s creepy.
Max Payne
This 2008 film tried to bring a popular video game to the big screen. How often does that work out well for anyone involved?
This time, Wahlberg stars as Max Payne, a cop bent on revenge and who doesn’t play by the rules. Sounds original, right? The rest is a mess despite a solid cast (Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, and Donal Logue) and some slick visuals. RottenTomatoes.com weighed in with a 16 percent “rotten” ratings, and the film’s box office results were weak as well ($40 million).
The Yards
Some fine actors suffer from having a rather limited range. Think Kevin Costner. He was embarrassing as Robin Hood but oh, so good as straight-laced Eliot Ness in “The Untouchables.” Wahlberg offers a similarly confined range. He went far outside it for “The Yards,” an otherwise mediocre 2000 drama co-starring Charlize Theron and Joaquin Phoenix.
It’s not the actor’s worst movie, but it might be his worst performance. He’s barely life-like here, and his subdued energy saps any vitality the film attempts to create.
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