I would like to begin today’s column by apologizing upfront if it ends up being a little on the short side. There were grand plans for this one, oh yes, but then something weird happened: I didn’t feel well for a few hours on Monday when I should have been writing this. Normally a seemingly indestructible paragon of health, I was very suddenly hit with a migraine-like headache. I don’t get migraines, but I know people who do, that’s why I was familiar with the symptoms. Anyway, that nasty little thing put me behind schedule quite a bit before I could chase it away.
How was your Monday?
As we move into week seven — it is seven, I think — of stay-at-home/shutdown/quarantine/whatever, I’ve begun thinking more and more about how small businesses will come out of this. They are at a particularly critical point in this hellish economic journey. The federal money that was supposed to help them ran out very quickly. Small business owners and employees have been sweating all of this out while academics — who contribute heavily to the Democrats — are enjoying this kind of taxpayer-funded largesse from the federal government:
Here’s a partial reported list of approx funds given to unis, from "CARES ACT", which ran out of $ for #smallbiz
Columbia $12.8 mm
Cornell $12.8 mm
Harvard $9 mm
Yale $7 mm
LSU $19 mm
University of Arizona $35m
Arizona State $63.5 mm
And it goes on and on… $14 BILLION worth…
— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) April 17, 2020
Yes, I went to one of those schools and I’m still furious.
Making matters even worse for small businesses is that the Democrats are once again playing politics with suffering people’s livelihoods and not suffering any media backlash for it whatsoever. Well, mainstream media. Sure, you can read all about it on conservative media sites, but those precious undecided voters aren’t exactly avid consumers of that fare.
Thank God that President Trump has plenty of campaign money to spend on advertising:
Americans are losing their jobs since the virus rocked the economy.
Nancy Pelosi blocks funding for people to keep getting paychecks.
But she’s got a $24K fridge full of ice cream, so she’s cool.
“𝑳𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎.”
– 𝑵𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒚 𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆 pic.twitter.com/6KDurMFJDD
— Brad Parscale – Download our Trump 2020 App today! (@parscale) April 20, 2020
In a world where almost all of the media people that cover politics weren’t corrupt, Pelosi would have been excoriated for that tone-deaf ice cream stunt. Instead, Granny Boxwine dithers while others’ savings wither:
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Monday evening that lawmakers are in the final discussions regarding the language for an interim stimulus package in response to the coronavirus outbreak.
In an interview on CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360,” Pelosi indicated lawmakers were nearing a final draft of the bill, which aims to refill the coffers of a popular small business loan program that was included in the $2.2 trillion stimulus package and in which Democrats had aimed to include funds for hospitals, coronavirus testing and state and local governments.
There was no criticism of Pelosi whatsoever in that article for her stalling YET ANOTHER round of relief money.
The precious days that Pelosi, Schumer, and the rest of the Party of Satan have wasted could break many a small business.
I was first thinking of comedy clubs when this worry crept into me. I truly fear that this could permanently and negatively impact a live comedy market that was already nothing like during the heyday when I began going on the road.
Then I began to look around in a tighter local sphere. I live near a lot of local restaurants and craft brew places. They’re all hustling to get takeout and delivery business, and I have been somewhat supportive of that. I’ve decided that this week I need to up my game. I don’t want to go broke ordering delivery, but I would like to get me and some of my friends to prioritize supporting the locals while they are still waiting for whatever kind of help the feds come up with for Round 2.
There’s a place near me called the Royal Room that’s mixing up cocktails and selling them to-go in Mason jars and I think that will be my next local purchase. My neighbors and I get together in our courtyard on Fridays now and I think I’ll order us some Mexican food from one of my favorite places — El Minuto — for us to enjoy at this Friday’s happy hour.
Am I going to singlehandedly keep a business open? No. I do, however, have a platform to encourage others to get some money into the local economy. Those of us who are working, obviously.
I would much rather order in a little more and spend a few extra bucks on the local stuff for the next few weeks than throw money at a national chain.
Yeah, my waistline might take a hit. Spring won’t last long in this desert though. It’ll be plenty hot as we begin to emerge from our state-suggested at-home time.
A couple of weeks of riding my bike when it’s 105 and I’ll be down to my birth weight.
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.” His columns appear every Tuesday and Friday.
Editor’s Note: Want to support PJ Media so we can keep telling the truth about China and the virus they unleashed on the world? Join PJ Media VIP and use the promo code WUHAN to get 25% off your VIP membership.