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Adventures in the Patriarchy™: A Star Is Born

Aaron Lavinsky/Star Tribune via AP

Chronicling the ongoing intersectional struggle to liberate women — inclusively defined as the legacy kind and transgender people — from the Patriarchy™, one microaggression at a time.

Let’s check in on the goings-on at the “lesbian zoo,” as Gavin McInnes once colorfully termed the WNBA.

Female athletic prowess on full exhibition at the WNBA all-star special

At the recent WNBA all-star game, league stand-outs showered fans with a nonstop barrage of bricks, air balls, and aborted alley-oops.

Bear in mind, as you behold the spectacle, that these are ostensibly the best talents in the league (minus perhaps a few white players excluded on account of their sub-optimal ethnicity) coming together for an exhibition of excellence with minimal defense employed.

And yet, even so, the wealth of talent gathered in one setting notwithstanding, it’s brick city.

Here is the alternative league superstar — excluding Caitlin Clark, who is disqualified because of her disgusting whiteness — Angel Reese misses an easy lay-up and proceeds to trip over her own feet.

A star is born

The beleaguered league may be set to inject some real talent in the form of a hulking, absolutely shredded 6-foot-3 tranny phenom out of France called Julie Tétart, currently running riot over his fellow lady opponents in the French league, who may soon transition to the WNBA stateside.

My personal favorite portion of the below montage comes around the 20-second mark when he chest-bumps his lady teammate after an and-one play.

Typically, legacy women, on account of their physiology, don’t chest-bump one another for obvious reasons.

But we’re in a Brave New World, in which we celebrate novel and empowering expressions of womanhood.

Related: Irish LGBTQ+++™ Lady Inmate Proves He Shouldn't Be Housed With Women

Meanwhile, Caitlin Clark — who’s in enough hot water as it is solely because she's the white face of a league openly hostile to right-wing politics, no matter how aggressively league management tries to force-feed Angel Reese on the fan base — came out swinging against her own teammate and enforcer, Sophie Cunningham.

Presumably because she is terrified of the blowback for stating obvious things like males have an inherent advantage over women in the realm of sports — especially basketball, where height is a major factor — Clark punted, if you’ll forgive the sports metaphor, on an opportunity to come to Cunningham’s defense.

Via People (emphasis added):

Caitlin Clark is speaking out for the first time amid the controversy surrounding her Indiana Fever teammate, Sophie Cunningham, regarding comments made on transgender athletes in women’s sports.

“I think it’s for leagues and governing bodies to work with their athletes to find solutions,” Clark, 24, told reporters following the Indiana Fever’s 108-100 loss to the Minnesota Lynx on Sunday, Aug. 2…

“Our focus is on basketball. That’s what we talk about and how we can get wins and obviously we didn’t do that tonight. So we need to find an area to improve in that way,” Clark continued.

The WNBA star’s stance comes days after Cunningham, 29, drew both ire and support for her opinion on the matter, which she first shared with ESPN last month…

For Cunningham’s part, she posed with conservative blogger Riley Gaines and former Levi’s executive Jennifer Sey after the game, both of whom wore anti-trans shirts. Cunningham held up Gaines’ sign, which read: “Sophie, thank you. - A girl mom.”

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