Everyone’s speculating about the scale of the coming Republican victory in the midterm elections. Will they win 39 seats in the House of Representatives? 45? 60? 80?
And in the confusion, everyone’s testing out different possible metaphors to describe the political and cultural effect of the Republican win, depending on its size. Will it be a “massacre”? A “tsunami”? A “generational shift”?
The time has come to get this all straightened out. I hereby present The Official Guide to…
Advertisement
Republican 2010 Victory Metaphors
| If Republicans win… | The correct metaphor to use is… | |
|
1 – 38 seats |
blip |
|
|
39 seats |
wave |
|
|
40 – 41 seats |
a good shellacking |
|
|
42 – 45 seats |
steamroller |
|
|
46 – 47 seats |
earthquake |
|
|
48 – 49 seats |
The Big Payback |
|
|
50 – 52 seats |
asskicking |
|
|
53 – 56 seats |
1994 all over again |
|
|
57 – 59 seats |
Tea Party Jamboree |
|
|
60 – 62 seats |
wipeout |
|
|
63 – 64 seats |
a thumpin’ |
|
|
65 – 66 seats |
stampede |
|
|
67 – 69 seats |
massacre |
|
|
70 – 71 seats |
juggernaut |
|
|
72 – 75 seats |
1894 all over again |
|
|
76 – 77 seats |
revolution |
|
|
78 – 79 seats |
The Perfect Storm |
|
|
80 seats |
tectonic rupture |
|
|
81 – 84 seats |
tsunami |
|
|
85 – 86 seats |
The Great Refudiation |
|
|
87 – 89 seats |
meteor strike |
|
|
90 – 91 seats |
generational shift |
|
|
92 – 94 seats |
Party Like It’s 1773 |
|
|
95 – 97 seats |
Doomsday |
|
|
98 – 99 seats |
Armageddon |
|
|
100 seats |
The Apocalypse |
|
|
101 – 116 seats |
mass extinction event |
|
|
117+ seats |
The End |
|
I like em all …. no matter, it will be a BIG can of whup pulled out on Nov. 3
Ummmm, am I wrong in hoping that all the Apocalypse / mass extinction / meteor strikes are aimed only and solely at Democrats, at least this time around, and that Republicans can count on a teflon umbrella?
and then when the Republicans fuck it up, in 2012 there will be overall mass extinctions and meteor strikes, not the mention the Russians landing in Florida and Mexico taking back California.
I think the republicans that are elected will have a difficult time. They will be blamed for every failed program that Obama and the dems have enacted. If they do not stand up for themselves instead of being the ‘turn the other cheek” party (republicans/conservatives) never raise your voice or attract attention.. Obama will get away with blaming them.. and 2012 will be a disaster.
Buck up!
I like “all” your suggestions!!
I would like to add “awakening”. Awakening of the sleepy, I don’t have time to vote, don’t rock the boat, oh heck I always vote a party ticket no matter, what the hell happened to my job and money, masses..
What scares me is the uneducated welfare sucking voters that believe Obama is alpha and omega because he is the black president..and are doing a little jackboot dance of ignorance. If we allow skin color to be our judge once again, we are all sunk.
Also the republican/conservative politician that do get elected, need to be held to their campaign “promises” or hounded out of office.
Oh Soros is pickin’ on Beck..must be scared.. Seems conservatives are on the right track!!
Damn you, Zombie! Now I have to hope we only net 85-86 seats to get to watch Leftist heads explode.
“This is The End, my only friend, The End”. Jim Morrison.
And after the end comes the new beginning. And if the republicans turn back into a bunch of RINOs, time for revolution in 2012. Roll the guillotines up the mall and clean house for real.
On the other hand, it’ll be intesting to hear the MSM talk about the “angry electrate” and how the Repubicans “seized control” instead of winning elections. Will we once again hear about our “temper tantrum” like we did in 1994? How low will the MSM go? How low is possible, then look lower.
Haha, I was laughing my way down (good work, Zombie!) and half expecting the final entry to show Axelrod, Jarret, et. al. and a label of “Federal Case” or “Voter Fraud!” or “Ballot Nullification.”
The MSM needs to be curbed in or replaced entirely, just like the politicians.
They are the lowest of the low. Freedom of speech is one thing, but the distortion of the MSM needs to be stomped into oblivion.
Don’t worry. In a good capitalist society, they’ll all be bankrupt very very soon. Soros can’t afford to fund *all* the networks as well as the NY Times and the LA Times, and also Daily Kos and Huffington Post. And if we successfully lop Obama off at the knees in November, there’s no way he’ll ever be able to ram through legislation to fund / bail out his water-toting media the way he rammed through health care.
Monster Disappointment . . . WTF Just Happened? . . . But, But, But, But . . . GD That Jon Stewart! . . . How Could O’Donnell Lose! . . .
and should you win . . .
The Generational Demise of America
The Rise of the Fascists
I Pledge Allegiance to Fox News
Watch Out Fags, You’re Next
My Mistress Has Decided to Have the Baby – Hallelujah!
What Would Jesus Kill?
Joe Horn for President!
and the winner is?
It’s All Obama’s Fault
I don’t think you went far enough. How about:
1-5 seats: Kristallnacht for Sanity
6-10 seats: Unicorn Holocaust
11+ seats: Sieg Heil, Mein Führer Frau Palin!
Heh
Sorry to be a German grammar Nazi here 
(in fact, my own German grammar stinks like Chicago politics) but that would be “Führerin Frau”
Otherwise, good laughs.
But seriously, anything less than 40+ congress seats will be explained away by the OTMSM as “see, the voters aren’t that upset! We predicted a tsunami!”
120 seats: Soros tells Wow Really, “No soup for you!”
Bwaaahahahahaha! I love it AK, I keep telling people not to feed this troll by responding in any way shape or form, but maybe you’re right the real solution is to get SOROS to stop feeding him/her/it…
I’ll bet you $5,000 they don’t get 120 seats. Now, where DID you put those balls of yours?
You desperately need to attend Jonny Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity”, Really; that five grand could buy you enough ramen to last you until Soros decides to pay you to troll blogs again.
You forgot ethnic cleansing.
I have been describing the Democrats’ elecotoral collapse as either the Republican Shockwave or the Democrat Holocaust; the loss is going to be much bigger than 1994. Most pollsters will not see the gains coming including Rassmussen & Charlie Cook among others.
The End. Making the Leftists irrelevant. A big enough “refudiation” which means they have been exposed to such a point that they are perceived as just ridiculous, so much so, that no one even bothers to listen to them anymore. They will be lunatics raving in the streets; nutjobs whom people go out of their way to avoid.
Loved the list but it should have ended with (well, perhaps it did), The Destruction of the Democratic Party. When one becomes two or more.
Zombie, wonderful work as always. But, I understand the trolls have a different version:
1-38 Expected
39: Voters responded to slogans
40-41: Not thinking clearly
42-45: Bitter Clinging
46-47: Mean Girls Gone Wild
48-49: Aqua Buddha’s Revenge
50-52: Voters Throw a Tantrum
53-56: Blue Dogs Were Expendables
57-59: Alex Baldwin Leaving the Country
60-62: Witch Put a Curse On Us I
63-64: Eye of Newt (Glimmers For 2012) II
65-66: Tongue of Dog (And it talks about me!) III
67-69: Pelosi Refuses to Give Up Gavel
70-71: Karl Rove, Evil Mastermind, Stole the Elections
72-75: Bush Did This!
76-77: I Inherited This Defeat
78-79: RACISTS!
80: Hey, Where’s Barney?
81-84: Boxer Rebellion
85-86: Rent is Still Too Damn High
87-89: Sean Penn leaves the country
90-91: Newsweek Says We’re All Tea Partiers Now
92-94 Paul Krugman Writes that the voting deficits are Good for the Democrats
95-97 MSNBC implodes
98-99 ObamaCare Repeals Itself
100: Kos Marries Arriana, Move to Venezuela
101-116: Israel breathes sigh of relief
117: Young Guns Release Constitution Held Hostage, Unharmed
“92-94: Paul Krugman Writes that the voting deficits are Good for the Democrats.”
ROFL!!!
Love it!
I’m sure the “Blame 0bama” bumper stickers are already in the making.
“Blame Bush” is soooooooooo yesterDOOM.
I saw a car in the parking lot this evening with a bright spanking new purple and yellow bumper sticker on it: SEIU / Obama
I can’t decide which is stupider to flaunt that relationship — the union thugs or the plantation massa who’s directing them.
I am hoping for The Apocalypse myself. The question that I am curious about is who the Democrats will blame after it happens?
http://www.bluecollarphilosophy.com/2010/10/i-will-ask-this-again-who-will.html
They can’t blame Bush anymore, since such a pounding would mean Bush and the Republicans were right. I keep seeing headlines from Liberals saying that the voters are too stupid or emotional, ala Harry Reid calling Nevadans children. That may be the one they go with. Of course they will never admit it was the radical Totalitarian agenda they rammed down our throats.
Are you counting chicks? Don’t forget there are “independents”, cemeteries ghouls, warehouses gnomes to vote in recounts. There will be lots of recounts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psLTr6ktO78
there not a metaphor there and oxymoron
Love them all. I hope we take all the seats up for grabs. November can not come soon enough.
Being a language buff, I’ll suggest “GotterBammurung.” Cue the Valkyries.
I suspect an awful lot of lefties would be badly irritated by “Sarahgeddon”…
That one made me laugh!
I’ll take a Sarahgeddon double with cheeze, bacon, and a side of Mass Extinction. Plus a large Meteor Malt, if you please.
Okay, Zombie. I have to reprimand you!
These are all porno references:
“a good shellacking”
” a thumpin’”
“meteor strike”
“tectonic rupture”
C’mon. Don’t play innocent with me, you pervert!
Have a great weekend.
Not getting any lately, eh? It shows.
Nobody has ever been a better lover to myself than me.
Men? Meh.
hey fun, I sent this link to several folks, for some reason it’s the picture for “a good shellacking” that makes me laugh, in today’s polyurethane world. and Palin’s picture for the “great refudiation”.
You make the right points. I guess it depends on your standpoint. – If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. – Benjamin Franklin 1706 – 1790