This sounds almost right:

As America hangs by its fingernails, wiggling its toesies over the vertiginous plummet to oblivion, what can save her now? An Even More Super Committee? A bipartisan agreement in which Republicans agree to cave, and Democrats agree not to laugh at them too much?

More likely is a bipartisan agreement in which Republicans agree to cave, and Democrats agree to call them evil and selfish and vile and old and white and racist and hateful and mean and stuff, for giving the Democrats everything they wanted instead of everything the Democrats wanted plus another trillion here and a trillion there.