It’s Gonna Work This Time for Sure
January 19th, 2012 - 2:53 pm
QE1 pumped $2,000,000,000,000 into the economy, with nothing to show for it. QE2 — a steal at just $600,000,000,000 didn’t do much, either. So then, naturally, here comes QE3:
The Federal Reserve is likely to step in with $1 trillion worth of easing that could be announced as soon as this month, according to a growing consensus of economists who see the recent uptick in economic growth as unsustainable.
What’s another $1,000,000,000,000 among friends?
From Douglas Adams: “Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe”
FORD: How can you have money if none of you actually produce anything? It doesn’t grow on trees you know!
MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT: You know If you would allow me to continue!
CAPTAIN: Yes let him to continue.
MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT: Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt leaves as legal tender, we have, of course all become immensely rich.
FORD: No really? Really?
CROWD MEMBERS: Yes, very good move…
MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT: But, we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability. Which means that I gather the current going rate has something like three major deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut. So, um, in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on an extensive defoliation campaign, and um, burn down all the forests. I think that’s a sensible move don’t you?
MARKETING GIRL: That makes economic sense.
[Murmurs of agreement from crowd]
FORD: [Yells] You’re absolutely barmy! You’ve a bunch of raving nutters!
So the deleveraging will continue. The cost of bad loans made by speculators to speculators will be transformed into higher costs for food, fuel and housing. Economic populism ain’t what it used to be.
And then comes the Committee for Assuring Reasonable Profits, and then come the shortages, and then…
I propose we adopt the kilo-dirksen; that is, one thousand dirksen.
In this way we could update his famous quip as follows:
My friends would expect me to pay it back.
Stupid friends.