Black Friday Shopping Report

Usually my Black Friday routine is eat turkey club sandwiches and spend the rest of the time vigorously not shaving. Oh, and to stay in my bathrobe and off the streets. That was the plan this year, too. Except the dishwasher died this morning, halfway through the second of a projected five post-Turkey Day loads.

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Melissa, whose plan was identical to mine only replace “not shaving” with “pruning in the tub,” wasn’t happy to have her bath interrupted with, “Honey, we have a problem.”

I shaved. Melissa exited the tub. We packed the boy up in his car seat and made our way to… the mall. I hadn’t been to a shopping mall during the Christmas season since Amazon came along. And I hadn’t been there on Black Friday maybe ever. We snuck in to Chapel Hills the back way, so we wouldn’t get caught at that awful left turn signal coming in from the Academy side. Only had one near-accident (ass clown in a 300C with super-tinted windows and a faux-Bentley grill making a left-hand turn without looking), found a parking spot quickly (if not close), and made our way into Sears.

Traffic? I’d seen worse. Foot traffic? Sears was pretty much SRO, asses and elbows everywhere. Asked our salesman how business was — “pretty good” in his case, especially given that he’d just sold us a Kenmore Elite. He didn’t know about the rest of the store, but it’s hard to believe all those people were there just to look around. Inside the mall itself… what, do you think we were crazy enough to go in there when all we needed was a dishwasher?

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Took Highway 83 back home, since I-25 was packed pretty solid. Again, it’s hard to believe all those people were out and not spending money. But commencement weekend at the Air Force Academy usually results in bigger traffic jams. So our only real headache was having to spend all that money to replace what we thought was a perfectly good appliance.

What’s that mean? Probably that more people are doing more online shopping — which is exactly what I was doing when I decided to file this report.

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