This time each year I pretty much lust after global warmening. April is typically our second-snowiest month here in southern Colorado, and this year is proving to be no exception.
Monday it was (just) warm enough that I took the doors off the Jeep. Well, the driver’s side door — the baby isn’t quite old enough yet for that particular thrill. And since I ripped the back seat out right after buying the Wrangler, the boy sits up front with me.
This morning the door went back on. The skies are already black, and we’re supposed to get seven to 11 inches* of snow tonight. And that’s the prediction for the lower elevations. Up here on Monument Hill? Could be anywhere from 50% to 100% higher. Er, “deeper,” I guess.
A taste of spring, followed by a 50 degree dip and a foot of snow. Pretty standard stuff, really. Which is why I urge all of you to breed often and buy Hummers. Let’em idle in the driveway for no good reason, too. The Hummers, I mean, not the kids. The children you should teach from a very young age to leave a carbon footprint the size of a triceratops.
Because if that’s what it takes to keep me from me having to shovel that damn driveway again, then I’m all in favor. And you people in Florida and all those coastal places know how to swim, right?
*Coincidentally, these are the same figures used in porn star want-ads.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get my cocktail gear in order before tonight’s Democratic debate. See you at 9 Eastern, 6 Pacific, and inundated in the Mountain Zone.