Debate Drunkblogging — LIVE!
5:56pm (All times likely Mountain) I’d have started earlier, but I don’t get paid enough to watch the Lou Dobbs Friend of the Working Man™ Hour. However, I do have most of a martini in me, which makes five minutes or so of Lou almost tolerable.
5:58pm Steve Egg is also blogging, but I don’t know about his alcohol consumption.
5:59pm I’m also not getting paid enough to watch moderator Anderson Cooper. But he’s the moderator. What can you do? I’ve had an idea. Since the candidates don’t answer the actual questions, why listen to the questions? Mr Cooper, meet Mr Mute Button.
6:01pm I think CNN is holding the debate in the “hangar” of the Reagan Library for one reason: To taunt the candidates with that giant Air Force One as if to say, “None of you is ever gonna fly this bad boy.”
6:03pm CNN continues to insist on holding photo-ops during the debate, instead of off-camera before the big show. Why?
6:05pm If you like, you can vote on Politico.com for what questions you’d like to have asked. You can also upload videos of your kitties to YouTube, for all the good it will do this thing.
6:06pm Romney: People were better off after four years of me in Massachusetts, and screw whatever Bush has done. Cooper insists Bush’s record matters to Romney. Again: Why? I’m not yet drunk enough to understand. Also, Romney says he didn’t raise taxes. Untrue?
6:07pm Cooper said “no rules,” and I think he meant it. He let Romney talk as long as he wanted to. That’s promising.
6:08pm This is not the McCain who won Florida yesterday. He sounds medicated. Maybe he’ll wake up as the thing goes on, like he often does.
6:08.5 McCain also looks puny next to Romney, scrunched down over his mic while Romney, the Six Foot Human Male Penis, sits totally erect.
6:09pm CNN’s audio is ever-so-slightly out-of-sync. It makes all the candidates look as otherworldly as Ron Paul.
6:10pm Paul is wearing too much Pan-Cake makeup tonight. Also, he thinks the economy is worse off… and he’s trailed off into accusations of “empire.” And did you know America “used to have a middle class?” So sayeth Ron.
6:11 Romney, so far, is the only one tonight who even looks presidential. Never thought I’d say that.
6:12 Every time Romney says “McCain-Kennedy” or “McCain-Lieberman,” take a shot. Ol’ Mitt is gonna tie McCain up with Democrats but good. Plus, Romney asks what kind of Republican gets endorsed by the New York Times?
6:13pm McCain comes back swinging, pointing out the Romney’s conservative hometown paper, the Boston Herald, endorsed none other than John McCain.
6:14pm First martini is empty. Break time.
6:17pm What’d I miss? Mitt’s talking health care? Man, did I pick a good time to pour another drink. Although I do notice Paul on the side, with that look that says, “Why won’t they talk about the North American Union? It’s a conspiracy!”
6:19pm Huckabee believes in smaller government and lower taxes. Just not for Arkansas.
6:20pm You know what rocks about the 21st Century? I can drunkblog and order a pizza on the internet all at the same time. Of course, I have to rely on somewhat more primitive technology to get the pizza to me from the front door to the bedroom — but Melissa is used to that by now.
6:21pm Romney is talking health care again. If he’s going to tie McCain to the Democrats, I guess it’s only fair he gets tied into HillaryCare.
6:22pm McCain was just forced to take a side between The Governator and Bush. Guess which way he went? Can you guess? Is it too tough?
6:25pm McCain sounds sensible on the environment, almost Instapundit-ish. His theory being, even if the climate isn’t changing, it makes sense to clean things up and act green. Given the times, that’s about as good as we’re going to get from a politician.
6:27pm Romney wants to get us off of foreign oil. And here I was thinking that Huckabee and Paul believed in the fairy tales.
6:29pm “I think California should do what they want,” says Paul. And it’s good to hear him talk about property rights in regards to the environment — but he didn’t tie them together. He just kind of used the words “property rights” as a non sequitur. And then he changed topics again, before getting cut off by Cooper. Why can’t Paul state a thought? Why is Cooper suddenly enforcing rules he said don’t exist? This is a bad debate.
6:31pm Huckabee understands California. And Harvey Weinstein understands Arkansas. Not.
6:33pm Everybody wants to invest in infrastructure. Well, good. Romney can start by getting my cul-de-sac plowed in a timely manner. First candidate to promise that gets my vote.
6:34pm Paul is on his bombing bridges rant again. And his trillion dollar foreign policy rant. And… you know the drill by now.
6:35 Paul is a weird federalist. Isn’t foreign policy one of the few things the Constitution gives the federal government almost unlimited license to pursue?
6:37pm How many times is McCain going to be asked to defend his vote against the Bush tax cuts? I know I’m burned out, having watched almost all these debates… but, jeebus, it’s not like there isn’t news more recent than 2002.
6:38pm I’ll also vote for the candidate who promises free robot livers for everybody.
6:40pm Romney has taken one of the sane pages from Paul’s book (“sane pages?” -ed.), and is talking entitlement reform. That’s always been a losing issue, which says nothing good about the future of the Republic.
6:41pm They’re letting Huck talk again. Isn’t that cute?
6:43pm Everybody has a plan for immigration. Paul wants a wall. Romney wants everybody to form a nice, orderly line back to the border. McCain wants you to ignore the man behind the curtain. And Huckabee wants whatever McCain or Romney wants, depending on who wins.
6:44pm Shhh, Reagan was for amnesty.
6:45pm The lady with the cartoon hair asked McCain if he was maybe kind of hiding his past support for a “pathway to citizenship.” Truthful answer: Yer damn right, sister!
6:47pm Let’s be honest here. The INS can’t handle simple visa requests in a timely manner. Any candidate who claims we have the means to do anything about illegal immigration on a case-by-case basis is flat-out lying. And I’m pretty blasé about illegal immigration, and am a big supporter of greatly increasing legal immigration. Can you imagine what regular voters should feel about these lies?
6:51pm Now we’re talking pro-life stuff, and I’m thinking, “Where’s that pizza?” Honestly, why are we talking about Sandra Day O’Connor? She was appointed 20-some-odd years ago, and no longer sits on the court. She’s retired. If you want a debate about history, buy a couple rounds of drinks at a college bar. Without a doubt, this is the worst debate yet. And that’s saying something.
6:52pm Stephen (no relation) Bainbridge is liveblogging, too. And if I know him, he’s got half a wine bottle of something nice in him by now.
6:56pm What commercial am I watching in prime time? Old people talking about diabetes. Well, I guess we know Anderson Cooper’s real demographic.
6:57pm “30 minutes left to go,” Cooper threatens.
6:59pm “Is the Republican Party better off than it was eight years ago?” That’s Cooper, channeling Peggy Noonan. And it’s a fair question. Romney is tackling it, and kind-of-sort-of defending Bush for “keeping us safe” since 9/11. Mitt uses that to segue into Iraq, and from there into spending. And now there’s a something about the “house that Reagan built.” It started off as a good answer… he needs to learn when to stop talking. (Pot, meet kettle. -ed.)
7:01pm Man, Romney is getting lots of screen time. Although to be fair, he deserves it to defend himself against McCain’s “Clintonian” accusation that Romney supported a timetable on Iraq. I still don’t like or trust Romney, but on this one he’s been wronged.
7:03pm I find it hard to believe that, during the commercial break, McCain’s manager didn’t whisper in his ear, “Sit up straight.” Although I find it very easy to believe that McCain didn’t listen.
7:05pm “Sound and fury, signifying nothing.” McCain and Romney are shouting over who really meant what over the whole timetable issue. It’s like watching Clinton and Obama argue over whose health plan covers that extra .01%.
7:08pm We’re still going on with this? I’d rather hear Paul talk about the Fed, or Huckabee tell the story about that time he gave Jesus a ride to 7-11.
7:10pm “Your negative ads have set the tone in this campaign.” That’s McCain to Romney.
7:11pm Paul… is shouting… about everything… all at once… and the hardcore faithful applaud him.
7:12pm Iraq “never committed aggression,” says Paul. Tell Iran, or Kuwait, or the Kurds, or the marsh Arabs, or the Saudis, or… well, don’t tell them. They know Paul is as crazy as Saddam.
7:14pm “We are succeeding” in Iraq, says McCain. I don’t pray, but I do very deeply hope he’s right.
7:16pm Huckabee doesn’t like Putin, and judges him “by his actions.” For once, Huck doesn’t sound Carteresque. It’s too late, of course, except in an ass-covering make-me-your-vice-president way.
7:18pm The closest thing we have to a real foreign policy thinker on this stage is Ron Paul, and he’s dead wrong on everything past the water’s edge. This is a sad, sad group.
7:19pm It’s the martinis talking, I know. But what I want is the Frankenstein Candidate — half Paul, to cover the domestic stuff, and half Nixon to bomb the crap out of anyone who needs it.
7:21pm McCain doesn’t need any “on the job training.” Hillary is running on “experience,” too. I’m not sure it’s a winning play.
7:22pm I do like Romney when he talks about his business experience. But there’s something about him that strikes me as “First thing we do, consult all the lawyers.”
7:24pm Crap. Earlier, I forgot to actually link to Steve Egg’s liveblog. Also, it’s true: Guys named Steve do the best liveblogging.
7:25pm “He bought and he sold and sometimes people lost their jobs.” McCain, talking about Romney’s business experience. That was a cheap line.
7:26pm Paul: “People are supposed to run the economy… the government should provide solid money and low regulations.” See what I mean about my ideal Frankenstein candidate? Sadly, Paul is a lot more the Creature and a lot less Dr. Frankenstein.
7:28pm Huck wants equal time. But it’s almost time for the final curtain.
7:30pm Four minutes left, threatens Cooper.
7:31-34pm The question is, Would Reagan endorse you?
Mitt: Absolutely. And then a lot of words about how he’s just like Reagan.
McCain: Reagan wouldn’t endorse Romney. But he’d endorse me because I stick with my principles, especially when they include using the word “footsoldier” for the fourth time tonight.
Paul: I’m not sure, but he liked me in ’78, and he also liked the gold standard.
Huckabee: I think it would be incredibly presumptuous and arrogant… but I endorse Reagan.
Huckabee wins the final round.
7:35pm I’ll have a final wrap-up in just a bit, over at PJ Media.
UPDATE: My bad — the wrap will get posted right here at VodkaPundit, and in just a few minutes.
Just to kick it off…McCain is a Clinton…say anything…do anything to get elected…and it is written all over his slimy ass
Position open for bartender in newly-constructed Conservative isolation compound. Successful candidate will possess demonstrable charm, wit, and ability to make standard libations quickly and to order while the country goes to Hell in a handbasket. Apply in person at: Mom’s Apple Shack, Pocatello, ID. Be prepared to demonstrate drink mixing and snarking skills.
After that embarrassing press conference today, do you, as I do, suspect that Rudy could be McCain’s choice for Attorney General?
Stephen, I live somewhat close to your neck of the woods. Where can you order a pizza on-line?
Uh Oh…lookout Wall Street…McCain is coming with his paddle…bad boys
You’re making more sense than any of the guys on the stage, which is a good argument for the benefits of alcohol.
http://www.papajohnsonline.com/index.jsp
http://www.dominos.quikorder.com
http://www.pizzahut.com/order
re 6:38, you better plan on a write-in vote then.
Thanks Rob. For some reason having to ‘register’ to order a pizza seems a bit much for me. Isn’t that covered in the 2nd Amendment, in fact?
HE LIES and he knows he lies
Why did Romney get tough the immigration question? McCain gets the “it’s really great that you get it now” question, nod nod whick whick.
No “Caller ID” on the internet. They have to have some way to quickly identify you or they’d be delivering a lot of pizzas to nobody@home.
Fair ’nuff.
We all owe Stephen a round for his devotion to the arduous task of d-b’ing these gruesome debates. For some reason the candidates remind me of “The Bride of Frankenstein,” but I can’t remember which scene.
How about a nice glass of genuine Bohemian absinthe as a “thank you” to our host? Nothing like a visit from the “Fee Verte” to cheer a fellow up.
Now, would that states could just make voting as difficult.
FUCKING BRING IT ROMNEY>>>MORE
McCain is really stretching it to pin the timetable rap on Mittens. Rather than tell him to sit up straight, McCain’s manager ought to tell to let the timetable smear go.
I think Romney came off the better of that exchange.
Ron Paul always seems to change the subject when he gets a question. Predictably, it’s always something he’s basing his campaign on, like the Constitution or foreign policy. It’s bad form, in my opinion.
Notice how Romney’s just looking at McCain with a look that says “Go to bed old man. . .”
re 7:14 succeeding in Iraq, read either of the Michaels, Yon and Totten, they seem to think we’re succeeding.
Politics ain’t bean bag you know. You have to break a few eggs to make real mayonnaise. Stupid is as stupid does. How much wood could a woodchuck…
Sorry, you’re not the only one drinking.
Question: How are you qualified to manage our economy?
Answer: I was a vet in Vietnam!
Huckabee: everything you have at the federal level, you have at the state level.
Too bad it wasn’t followed with: and really, we can do without most of it.
Good god, this debate really, really sucks. I need more and more to drink.
re 7:26 Paul makes sense sometimes to me too. And I’m not drunk!
Paul is a weird federalist. Isn’t foreign policy one of the few things the Constitution gives the federal government almost unlimited license to pursue?
Paul is weird, period.
Foreign policy is one of the things the Constitution explicitly reserves to the Federal government.
Them fellers is all lyin!
I’m from MA, and while Mitt is sorely lacking in style, he’s got substance in spades. He did a pretty good job as governor here, no easy trick in the bluest of blue states (the legislature is something like 98% Democrat). Smart guy, solves problems, principled. Works well with others, not pompous or dictatorial. McCain’s time was 8 years ago, not now.
McCain admits that he’s doing remedial economics — hell, he couldn’t pass an ECON-101 exam. He’s reading Adam Smith at night to try to figure things out. Really.
This is a guy who said that Americans wouldn’t take jobs picking lettuce even if it paid $50/hour. Hell, where to I sign-up? I’d break rocks with a pick-axe in the hot sun for $50/hour.
I wish I would’ve been drinking, but since I was simulcasting that live-blog at a place that is not exactly expletive-friendly, it wasn’t a drunk-blog.
7:25pm “‘He bought and he sold and sometimes people lost their jobs.’ McCain, talking about Romney’s business experience. That was a cheap line.”
Yes it was. Mitt should have let him stew in it. But instead, he let out peels of laughter as mirthful as the Grinch in a Santa costume. Romney is just disturbing sometimes. I think there’s a little computer in the back of his mind that triangulates the most politically savvy response to every stimuli, and when he misfires you get to see how fake the rest of his shtick is.
You’re a twit.
Mitt’s a good guy. “Fake” is an easy, meaningless critique.
Steves of the world, unite!
Why is it that we never had a President named Steve?
I have to say, among the group of bloggers who claim to be conservatives but can’t wait to bash Ron Paul (usually because of their fetish for eternal war in the Middle East), you are one of the less annoying ones. I know you need to get your barbs in (haha, look at the guy who wants sound money and the federal government actually following the Constitution), but you don’t go overboard. Maybe it’s the booze, in which case don’t stop drinking.
99% of the time “fake” is an easy and meaningless critique used to fill space by people who can’t think of anything substantive to say. But occasionally a character like Romney comes along who rings that bell so hard you can’t help but hear it toll. Throughout his political career, Romney has always done exactly what the polls told him to, and always claimed to do it for conscience’s sake. When he laughs loud and long at ‘jokes’ that are clearly nowhere near funny, it just drives home the point that he’s manipulating the electorate with just about every breath he utters. Maybe he believes in free markets, maybe he opposes abortion, maybe he’s really been dedicated all along to victory in Iraq, but how would we ever know? Mitt just isn’t trustworthy. I wish he were, because he’s (now) right on most of the issues. Then there would be one Republican in the field that I could vote for.
By the way, I really miss Fred.
Me too, Nathan. re Mitt — he just doesn’t strike me the way he does you. Dunno — matter of taste perhaps? I know, he has his share of flip-flops. But he has to have stood hard a few times for a few things, right? I mean, it’s in the records.
Buddy, I’m not sure I can convince you; I can’t even be sure I’m right. This sort of judgment of character is fairly subjective. If I could see evidence that Romney has ever stood on principle to his own political peril I’d have to rethink things, because gut instincts aren’t always right, especially when mediated by television. But if he has his finger as far up in the wind as I think he does, he won’t be an effective conservative President.
Bah, I guess I will go with Romney. McCain has his little Donkey tattoo and we would all get to see it if he won.
Nathan, one little clue toward the finger-in-the-wind: a whole lotta vetoing back in the guv house in MA.
And the business turnarounds are not for the weak, indecisive, or faint-hearted.
Could be his nerves are stronger than the ken-doll appearance, as you imply might be the case.
I have to say, among the group of bloggers who claim to be conservatives but can’t wait to bash Ron Paul….
1) Stephen Green isn’t a conservative.
2) neither is Ron Paul.
3) Anyone who thinks Stephen Green and Ron Paul are conservatives isn’t paying attention.
“If I could see evidence that Romney has ever stood on principle to his own political peril I’d have to rethink things…”
He hasn’t converted to Evangelical Christianity or backed away from his Mormonism, when doing so would almost certainly have helped his political career.
Now that might not be the thing you would choose for him to stand firm on, but it’s something.