Pardon the Language (But Don’t Ignore the Funky Beat)
I suppose this was bound to happen eventually:
Pop icon PRINCE has vowed never to sing 50 of his own songs again, because of their explicit content. The PURPLE RAIN hitmaker, who became a Jehovah’s Witness six years ago (00), has removed songs including CREAM and GET OFF from his live repertoire, and insists there is enough music containing vulgar language already. He says, “You can’t push the envelope any further than I’ve pushed it. So stop. “What’s the point? So much of what we see on TV and hear on the radio is debased. I will not add to that.”
There’s a fun little game I like to play sometimes. It’s called “Summarize a Musical Artist’s Entire Output in One Sentence.” Catchy name, eh? Here are a few examples to get you started.
Morrissey: “I’m a miserable virgin homosexual and nobody loves me.”
Brian Setzer: “My car is fast and so am I and so’s my girl.”
The Bangles: “Whatever the Go-Go’s are doing, but without all the cocaine.”
Billy Idol: “I’m creepy and loud! Look at me! All creepy and loud!”
Liz Phair: “Guys suck, but I’m so so so so so so sexy, damnit.”
Peter Murphy: “When the music is darker than the lyrics are impenetrable, then you can get into the pants of Goth girlies.”
Prince: “I love Jesus, now let’s get naked and fuck before they drop the bomb.”
(And these are the things I come up with for artists I like.)
I really can’t blame Prince for his decision. Besides, it’s not like there aren’t hundreds of bootlegs of his old concerts. And have you heard his last couple albums? They come down to, “I love Jesus, so let’s get sweaty and dance.” Except for the language, not much has changed.
Amen!
The Boss: Rust Belt New Jersey angst looking for love, finding it in cars and wanderlust
I remember reading over 10 years ago that “The Artist” was a Christian. Now he’s a Jehovah’s Witness? How the mighty have fallen, as it were. My opinion only.
Technically, you didn’t sum up Billy Idol in a sentence – you had to use 3.
</Pedantry>
Very, very true. The fault lies with Idol, obviously.
*grin*
You left out all the drinking and gang/mob violence in Setzer’s music.
Might I suggest: “I’m a hard drinking, skirt chasing, fast driving, gang underling and I play a mean guitar. Oh, yeah.”
(Raised eyebrow) Cream gets cut, but not Darling Nikki?
Odd man. Virtuoso guitar player, but a very, very odd man.
Nine Inch Nails: “If I’m weirder and scarier than everybody else, I’ll get rich.”
Marilyn Manson: “If I act ten times weirder than Trent, I’ll be even richer.”
Nirvana: “Life sucks, then you marry Courtney Love, and you can figure out the rest for yourself.”
Shania Twain: “It’s easy to sell Def Leppard songs with a fiddle part–and a gigantic rack.”
Steve Vai/Joe Satriani/Yngwie Malmsteen/Eric Johnson: “I play a lot better than you ever could.”
Megadeth: “Damn it, I should still be in Metallica!”
Phish: “I don’t care if Jerry’s dead, and I won’t get a job!”
AC/DC: “OY!”
Dream Theater: “We want to be Rush when we grow up, but we can’t write, er, songs.”
Bon Jovi: “Suck harder than anything that has ever sucked before.”
Poison: “Suck more than Bon Jovi.”
Yes: “What the hell is Jon talking about now?”
Prince is a Jehovah’s Witness? That’s really sad. The JWs are among the most destructive cults operating in America today.
“Nine Inch Nails: “If I’m weirder and scarier than everybody else, I’ll get rich.”
Marilyn Manson: “If I act ten times weirder than Trent, I’ll be even richer.”"
Made even funnier by the fact that Manson opened for NIN some ten years ago – and he was weirder than NIN. Even weirder than them both was the Jim Rose Circus, though – the high point of the show IMHO, even though Jim Rose opened for both of them.
Belle and Sebastian: “Quaint and lovable to the wrong people, pity.”
The Pogues: “Blimey! they’re still conscious!”
Pulp: “Go ahead and ignore us, it’ll only make us stronger.”
“The JWs are among the most destructive cults operating in America today.”
Don’t hold a candle to the Kos Kidz.
Guns ‘n’ Roses: “If AC/DC can get rich with vocals like that, Axel’s going to make us a friggin’ mint“.
Loved the Peter Murphy comment, and I’m rather fond of his stuff.
Oh, inevitably, and redundantly:
Primus: “We SUCK!”
Norah Jones: “zzzzzzzzzz”
Sarah McLachlan: “if my songs won’t get you laid, nothing will”
Dave Matthews: “if my songs won’t get you laid, try John Mayer. He is obligated to pay me 99% of his grosses anyway”
Coldplay: “if you don’t Make Trade Fair immediately, I will continue to write gorgeous music with the most insipid lyrics imaginable”
U2: “if you don’t forgive third world debt immediately, I will continue to write gorgeous music with the 2nd most insipid lyrics imaginable”
Courtney Love: “my first album was written by my dead husband; the second was written by Billy Corgan. Does anyone want to help a sistah out?”
Billy Corgan: “I used to be so relevant…damn that Kurt Cobain. Wonder what Axl’s up to?”
Fred Durst: “perhaps my lack of talent was a detriment after all”
Kos’ Kidz are more destructive than the Mormons? The Mormons must be doing a helluva lot to save America then. More and more people are coming to realize that the right wing is the most destructive thing to America, its Constitution, and the entire balance and fate of the world.
In a nutshell, The Right Wing: lying, hypocritical, anti American, dangerous, pro-death, hot steaming piles of runny human feces.
Hmmm…and which group can we assign that quote to?
leftisright…
You do know the difference between the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses, don’t you?
Both are considered cults by many mainstream evangelical Christians, but they have vastly different organizational attitudes towards mainstream evangelicals.
And only one of the organizations has this nasty habit of forcing its novices to come to your door with periodicals and try to convert you so that he can gain full membership.
Yep. Young Mormon missionaries don’t distribute periodicals.
karrde, yup, you’re right. i got the Jehovahs and Mormons confused, because someone referred to them as JW, and I was thinking LDS when I typed Mormons.
either way, both are religious groups that mostly prey on ignorant, innocent, and indoctrinable.
thanks for correcting me.
So Prince is a JW. That cult appeals to those who fear hell, which JW’ dogma holds is only the fiery extinction of non-believers (“the wicked”) at death. Cult founder, Charles Taz Russell abated that fear by creating a “translation” committee (of unilingual English speakers), who he directed to make the Bible conform to his own ideas. Personally, I wouldn’t confer religion status on any claiming group who it can be proven, is the product of brazen fraud. Russell himself was twice found to have perjured himself in court. And he once sold grain as “miracle wheat” for 100 times its market value. Obviously he didn’t fear arrest.
Dream Theater: “We want to be Rush when we grow up, but we can’t write, er, songs.”
…on the other hand, I saw more video of falling WTC towers at the Dream Theater concert this weekend than I did in the last two years of MSM coverage. (in the jumbotron video that went with “Sacrificed Sons”.) And their “er, songs”-writing has improved a bit since Images And Words…
Britney Spears: “Someday my music will “mature” overnight just like my figure did.”
Van Halen: “We’ll just keep changing vocalists because you’ll buy our records anyway”
String Cheese Orchestra: “Duuude.”
The Dead: “So what if jerry’s dead, we’ll just keep rolling out old hippies as long as you’ll pay to see us.”