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Too Good to Work

September 26th, 2005 - 8:00 pm

John Dvorak has come up with the worst good idea ever. Or maybe it’s the best bad idea. Read and decide for yourself:

Some years ago I was flabbergasted when Congress banned the use of laptops by U.S. representatives. The rules are more relaxed now, and computers are part of the day-to-day life of a legislator. But I think it’s time for us to consider taking things to the 21st century by completely virtualizing Congress, letting the representatives and senators work from within their districts instead of living and working in Washington, D.C.

Things would work more effectively with teleconferencing, and the Congress folks wouldn’t be so hounded by lobbyists in a corrupting environment. Lobbyists would have to travel to the districts.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Better even than my idea a few years back to move our nation’s capital to somewhere in western Kansas – and amend the Constitution to forbid Congress from convening during any month other than August, or have air conditioning.

Here’s where Dvorak gets even smarter (or dumber, which we’ll get to in a moment):

As things sit today, one suitcase nuke set off near the Capitol buildings would pretty much wipe out the federal government and kill all the representatives and senators at once. This would be a serious problem. Just look at the devastation a submegaton bomb caused in Hiroshima. Well, imagine D.C. being in that condition. Why does it remain a sitting duck?

Now let me tell you why it won’t work.

Pretend for a moment that you are Rt. Hon. Congressperson Mylar H. Crawfish, representing the greater East Sphincter, Utah area. You get to spend most of your time in a city filled with people just like you. Some are elected officials, some work in the media, some are lobbyists, and some come from exotic foreign countries. And not only do they share your Washington-centric attitude

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