Geek Alert
April 14th, 2005 - 9:37 pm
Thursday’s biggest news story is this:
It’s official! The MPAA has rated Star Wars – Episode III: Revenge of the Sith “PG-13 for sci-fi violence and some intense images”.
Why is that a big deal? Well, to normal people, it’s not. But it does give the Star Wars geek a new hope that George Lucas didn’t kiddie-down yet another SW movie.
Sometime in the last act, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are going to come to blows. Master and student, comrades in arms, best friends
A geek alert has been called
I sure hope that this is right.
I am unabashedly looking forward to this movie. The previews send shivers down my spine. I’m praying they haven’t screwed it up, but then I think, how could they? How inept would they have to be? There is no need for politics, and there isn’t a heckuva lot of exposition that needs to take place, either. I just want to know how Leia ended up a Princess and Luke on that ball of sand known as Tatooine. And I also want outstanding hand-to-hand combat and battle choreography, thankyouverymuch. OTT visual effects are also a given, right?
The latest round of Clone Wars shorts on Cartoon Network were exceptional, particularly the episode in which Annakin has a vision/prophecy in which he sees himself falling prey to the Dark Side and destroying everything he loves. Alas, they are no longer available online! It’s amazing how much nearly-dialog-free shorties can do to give depth to the movie’s cardboard characters. So I’m prepped for EpIII with a more fully-realized Annakin and all sorts of hints about exactly what it is the Sith are capable of.
All of this enthusiasm is something of a family tension-creator, though. I’ll say, “May 19th!” to my 8-year-old and we’ll high-five on the very idea. But my 6-year-old daughter just rolls her eyes, and sighs. She doesn’t get it! I’m trying to decide whether that’s good or bad. (Personally, it has always worked well for me, liking typical guy things like scifi, and sports. But that’s because my interest and enjoyment in them is genuine — I’d hate for her to start pretending to like this stuff, if she really doesn’t!)
I recently watched the original star wars movie. It was not quite as magical as it was when I was a child. I was lucky to grow up with a father figure like Han Solo though, and young enough to enjoy action figures properly. Episode one was so bad that I skipped episode two, but this one looks promising. Even if it sucks it has the Portman factor.
Agreed. I think you covered quite well the points the movie will be making.
Amidala has to die, doesn’t she? I wonder if they’ll show it on camera.
POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT
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Yes, Steven, from what I’ve gleaned off the web, she does die and they do show it.
If I were directing it, I’d show the twins being born intercut with Vader being “born” in the Emperor’s medical lab. You know, just to drive the point home in the most obvious, brutal, and (I think) effective way.
IMHO, the sad fact is that Lucas is simply a terrible director. An easy comparison of real talent versus his lack of it is to look at Spielberg’s MINORITY REPORT that contains at least two scenes surprisingly similar to the last Star Wars disaster, the car chase and the fight in the factory.
While I was on the edge of my seat during those exciting sequences directed by Spielberg, I was bored and even annoyed at the complete lack of energy Lucas managed to waste a lot of computer rendering and I’m sure millions of dollars on.
The first Star Wars doesn’t hold up for me nearly as well as I remember it but the second was masterful, and not directed by Lucas of course. The third is embarrassing.
Of course I’m no franchise owning billionaire so what do I know?
As long as they don’t replace the light sabers with walkie-talkies.
Spoiler space
Er, why would Portman have to be shown dieing? Leia remembered her mother (I suppose it could have been a stepmom). Or has King George “fixed” that as well?
I’m thinking that it’s not too late for Lucas to make some edits and resubmit Ep3 for a G.
Actually, for Lucas it’s never too late to make significant changes.
My daughter’s in school that day and my husband’s taking the time off, we’re going to be in line.
I CAN’T WAIT!
I saw the pic of Anakin after a battle. I’ve seen him look better.
And the trailer at the end, WOOHOO!
3, 4 and 5 will be the best of the lot.
“It’s not like the old `Star Wars.’ This one’s a little bit more emotional. We like to describe it as `Titanic’ in space. It’s a tearjerker.”
Criminy, tigg! Why’d you have to go and throw that quote out there? Titanic! Blech!
Well, I suppose we can still hope that the kick-ass fight sequences will outweigh, and possibly erase the memories of, the sure-to-be-maudlin lurv scenes.
Besides, I vaguely recall an interview with Samuel L. Jackson in which he pretty much outright said that the way he (his character) dies is extremely cool.
I’ll go. I’ll watch. If warranted, I’ll even applaud.
And then I am DONE. Do you HEAR me, George Lucas? We are quits, you and I. Don’t call. Don’t write. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out.
Oh, yeah: in his Battle of Pelennor Fields sequence Peter Jackson did a better Battle for Hoth sequence than you could ever hope to do, and all three of us know it. He schooled you, Lucas. Schooled you like a truant nine year old.
You can buy the Clone Wars shorts on DVD. They’re pretty cheap, too.
I have, for some time now, been under the impression that George Lucas has the soul of a smurf.
doug
My other half, my partner in crime bought the book tie-in last weekend, and it took him less than 10 hours to read it. His opinion is that if you are looking for lightsaber battles, you will get them. If you are looking for dark, you will get it. Yes, you will see the twins born, and watch them be passed off.
His only gripe is that the book does not flow consistently. It is, as he puts it, “Too much start and stop”. And he used to be an avid SW nut. If he plays any sort of SW trivia, he can take on a team.
But he is not going to see it. He said he is not interested. He is too disappointed in the previous two, as they do not even come close to measuring up to the original trilogy. And he believes that no matter how dark this one is, it cannot redeem the new trilogy.
Of course, you realize that in 10-15 years or so someone over at SciFi Channel will redo this whole mess. Won’t be too hard to be an improvement.
Cautious Optimism Dashed
Martini Boy believes that since Episode III: Revenge of the Sith has been given a PG-13 rating, this is reason to hope the movie hasn’t been kiddie-downed too much. I wouldn’t bet the farm on it. Particularly not with this…
OK, ‘Empire Strikes Back’ was dark, powerful, and negative. That’s what you have to have in the second volume of an adventure trilogy. It sets up the limits and narative for the third volume’s resolution. ESB did, however have some of the crappiest animation going.
Star Wars: Porn Version
Stephen Green muses on the news that Star Wars is set to get a PG-13 rating. But might I suggest that a nude and tattood Bai Ling also might play some role in that rating?…
Lucas didn’t direct ESB!! Lucas is a hack, and he’s not getting any more money out of my pockets.
Let’s All Cross Our Fingers, Toes, and Eyes
Vodkapundit – Geek Alert Thursday’s biggest news story is this: It’s official! The MPAA has rated Star Wars – Episode III: Revenge of the Sith “PG-13 for sci-fi violence and some intense images”. Why is that a big deal? Well,…
All it took to get me ready to see it was hearing James Earl Jones’ voice-over in the trailer. I was a goose-bumpy seven year old all over again.
I think the prequals would have turned out a lot better had Lucas done what he did in the first three, or at least ESB and ROTJ, and let someone else direct. Lucas came up with a kickass story, but he is just an atrocious director. And he seems to have developed a tin ear where dialogue is concerned. Many more wince worthy moments in the preqs than I remember from the first three. And I watched those back to back about a month ago.
I’m still looking forward to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy more, heh heh
I couldn’t get through ep II, I’d borrowed the dvd from a friend and after 45 min. I just had to turn it off, the dialog and acting were atrocious. And this is from someone who owns Deathstalker I & II. Hayden Christensen should be embarassed by his performance.
I am very much looking forward to seeing Obi-wan versus Anakin, although the prospect of watching Yoda versus Sidius is pretty tempting as well.
Lucas is a terrible director though. I remember watching the dialogue between Count Duku and an imprisoned Obi-wan, and I thought, wow, if the actors had been anybody other than Christopher Lee and Ewan McGregor, it would have destroyed the movie.
Robert, both Christensen and Portman were atrocious in EP2, but the script was far, far worse.
The most annoying thing about Lucas has been the way he keeps going back and changing things in the Original Trilogy. With the release of EpIII, I hear that this will include changes to the next “enhanced” version of ROTJ to include scenes with an (older) Amidala — which would seem to indicate that she does not die in EpIII.
Speaking of geek alert, check this out
http://www.dailypundit.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/762.
The link on Bill’s website should have you drooling for days.
Even as we blog, Lucasfilm is developing software to generate new Star Wars episodes with computer-generated characters.
Episodes 7-1024 will be in HDTV, with music by the JohnWilliamsBot. Episodes 1025-4096 will be in 10-dimensional Superstring-o-Vision. Plots for episodes 4097 and after are being generated by LucasGrid computers. According to sources, the LucasImplant will be available for brain implantation in 2012, allowing fans to enjoy the intracranial experience of Star Wars 24×7.
I hope CP30 is not in the movie. The damn robot was horribly obnoxious.
Based on the soundtrack, the opening should be considerably more stirring than the opening of Episode One. You know – “I have a bad feeling about these trade negotiations.”
BOOK REVIEW–STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH
Whatever my problems with the execution of the Star Wars saga by George “Call me Wicket” Lucas, the fact is that the saga itself is a wonderful bit of storytelling when reduced to its basics. It is the American Iliad…
Is anybody looking forward to this? Even my niece, who lived for Star Wars (when she was 10) has moved on & wouldn’t be caught dead at a Stars Wars movie. I sat thru the previews & I’m like, PLEASE, no more light sabre duels! Let’s just move on to Star Wars vs Predator & close the franchise.
I loved the first Star Wars flick when it came out — what — 25 years ago? And then I loved The Empire Strikes Back even more. But after that, to my mind, it’s been downhill. I couldn’t stand it when, in Revenge of the Jedi, Skywalker, when in combat, is no longer really in a desperate struggle. Instead, he has become sort of a sci-fi Jedi James Bond. In other words, he wins victories with the boring effortlessness of a superhero for whom hardly anything is impossible. There is a scene in Revenge of the Jedi where Skywalker is being challenged — I think by Jaba the Hut’s thugs — and Skywalker is not the least bit concerned. He even warns his challengers with a complacent certainty — not with desperate bravado that underneath is actually uncertain and aware of risk.
I love it when a warrior portrayed can do remarkable, heroic things, but where the tremendous effort and self-sacrifice involved become apparent, where the heroism is made all the more outstanding because we see the hero’s physical limits and vulnerabilities and his fighting on despite them or even as they are made worse through pain, injury, etc. The classic example is perhaps Harrison Ford in Blade Runner in the last scene where despite a couple of broken fingers he is climbing up the outside of a building to escape a cyborg-mutant or whatever, and gets to the roof to find the cyborg punching its way through the roof. At that point Ford’s character, far from being supremely masterful like a superhero with unlimited powers, feels himself in such an emergency that without the least deliberation he desperately sprints full speed to leap to the next building — which he barely reaches, smashing into it with his chest and dangling from the parapet by his arms. The cyborg easily gets to the other roof and holds in his hand Ford’s character’s fate. Give me that human desperate heroism over Superman anytime.
I am dreading this movie. I suppose I will have to see it, but I assume that it will do as much as its two predecessors to ruin the joy the first trilogy gave me as a child. Lucas is as bad as Michael Jackson, living in some giant ranch compound and completely divorced from the real world. Episodes I – III are the result.
Sadly, the real “Clone Wars” have occurred at the Skywalker Ranch — ever since “Empire Strikes Back.” Each installment since has been excruciatingly derivative in the fight scenes, the vehicles, the characters, etc. Worse, each episode has become more bloated, ponderous, and preposterously self-important, while the characters — the soul of the first trilogy — have been stripped of all distinguishing personal quirks, humor and humanity.
Sitting through “Return of the Jedi” was a creepy experience of deja vu (see Luke swing on a rope with Leia; see Luke duel once again with Vader; see the Death Star blow up all over again…) But that installment was “Citizen Kane” compared with the two clunkers that followed. Sitting there staring at the screen was, for me, like watching hair grow.
Finally, there is something seriously wrong with a grown man who can give birth to something like “Jar Jar Binks” — and not immediately strangle the character in its crib. (“The Farce is strong with this one.”) That Lucas has inflicted this excruciating, purposeless whatchamacallit on us for multiple episodes suggests a sadistic streak for which he should seek professional help.
Because he promises some measure of emotional entanglement in the final episode, I will enter the theater to watch the thing. But based on my reactions to the past three episodes, I do not guarantee that I’ll be in my seat at the closing credits. Life is too short.
“[Jackson] schooled [Lucas] like a truant nine year old.”
Glad somebody finally said it. LOTR may have been overacted in elegant clothes, but it still had a good measure of authenticity.
SW is a distant second — all five of em. As fine an original story and therefore an equivalent lofty potential, but it ended up such a distant second.
I too just brushed up on the original three and just about fell asleep. Will see the last only because of my kid…but she’ll probably never ask to own the set…
I’m reminded of the Simpsons episode where Lenny and Carl were having a lightsaber duel over which sucked more: EPI or EPII.
Here it’s “the script sucked worse” vs. “the direction sucked worse” vs. “the acting sucked worse”.
I know it’s all about the storytelling, and nobody wants to see space battles from the kinds of distances they’d really be fought from, but why is there still close combat in Star Wars, or for that matter punching and kicking in the Matrix trilogy? Doesn’t make a bit of sense.
There is one thing Lucas can do to save this for me. Make Yoda responsible for everything. I hated Jar Jar Binks when I first saw him (still do I suppose), but the horrible concept was partially redeemed when he made Jar Jar the Emperor’s patsy. Jar Jar begins the start of the Republics fall and that rocks. Now, if the pay off for Ep3 is that Yoda either planned the fall, or foresaw the conflict and overestimated his ability to control it I will be very pleased. There are plenty of indicators that Yoda knew what was coming. Was this actually good plotting, or are these just glaring plot holes? I hope for the first, but I expect the second.
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