Flu Season Update
For those who asked, I didn’t have strep throat – but thanks for all the warnings. I took them to heart, and went to see the doctor.
OK, that’s not true. I usually won’t see a doctor for anything less than a compound fracture, and even then I’d better be able to see the bone sticking out before I’ll get in the car. I did, however, log on to WebMD to look up the symptoms.
Turns out, the only one I had in common with strep was the sore throat. Nope, what I had was the common cold – just a really nasty one. That one where you wake up with your eyelids gunked closed and your throat so sore that swallowing feels like a drowning man finally gasping air. You know – each gulp feel like acid, yet you can’t do without.
Also, I learned a valuable lesson. Want to get rid of that awful Nyquil aftertaste? Chase it with a swig of good brandy. Or just skip the Nyquil and double-dose the brandy. Or both.
I usually went with the third option.
Anyway, feeling much better now, even if not quite running on all eight super-charged cylinders.
Stephen, when in doubt, go see a doctor.
It’s hard to self-diagnose pneumonia. I don’t like the sound of that “drowning man” feeling you describe so vividly. Just drop in on a doc to be sure.
Stephen,
As I tried to explain earlier, do the hot tottie routine. Again, in a mug, good shot of brandy, honey, pour hot water, stir, top with nutmeg. Repeat. If you feel really bad, put on 2 sweat shirts, sweat pants and sweat while drinking the hot totties. It will act like a sweat lodge, and help clean out your system. Good luck.
Try mixing nyquil with anisethe or ouzo…knock’s ya right out
You don’t really need to get fancy Stephen……
Just blackberry brandy (on-rocks, hot, whatever) about two shots…
Then sit back and you WILL sweat!
Been using that for years to break a cold’s hold. Never fails!
Duke
second post on this so I hope it doesn’t duplicate……
I’m glad you’re better, Steve. I’ve enjoyed and quoted from your blog many times these past few months.
Wanted you to know t hat the Fuck
Yeah link isn’t working although I know you may not be able to do anything about it.
Terrible message but I enjoyed it anyway.
Best……
One strong sign of pneumonia is very bloody phlegm and another is high >102 degree fever. I had these symptoms when I still worked at GE in CNY. Management refused to let me see the company doc until I coughed a really nasty blob onto the engineering manager during a technical discussion-my third day of coming into work in that condition coughing on drawing prints and other things. Was sent immediately to doctor and diagnosed with P. Two week bed rest, ending just before being laid off.
Seriously, Mr. Green, if you’re getting the bloody phlegm and high fever, please see a doctor. Pneumonia CAN kill you.
By the way, my link below is to a new blog I just started, called the Moonbat Abattoir, if you don’t mind a little shameless blog shilling. I’m a red stater too so I think you know where it’s coming from
hope I’m not breaking any blog rules here. if so, somebody please tell me, new to this stuff………
Steve -
Next time you feel a cold coming on, grab a box of those Zicam Nasal Swabs. You shove one up your nose every four hours or so for the first few days.
I was highly suspicious of them early on (my mother was big into homeopathy – couldn’t even cure her hypochondria), but man do they work. Every cold I get tends to turn into what you describe (I never seem to have a cold that lasts less than 10 days and 3 quarts of phlegm), but if I’m religious about the Zicam, they generally last 2 days and are mild.
I have no idea why they call it “homeopathic” as it actually has an active ingredient (my guess is to get around the FDA rules). True homeopathic stuff has no active ingredient other than foul taste…
Wha’choo need is a housecall from Doctor Geezus. That’ll be a $20 love offering, thank you very much.
Duke is right- but his choice of libation is questionable. I’ve never had a cold that couldn’t be driven from the field by a coupla shots of Maker’s and putting on entirely too many clothes. Bumps your temperature up enough to help fight the buggers off- sort of an induced fever. But if you actually have pneumonia or something, this would be a bad idea, of course.
The comments above are opinion, and not advice from a licensed medical professional. Ask your doctor what Maker’s Mark can do for you (cue music).
It’s amazing how often you can confirm a self-diagnosis by going to WebMD… you will always find proof for what you think you already have and nothing else.
Doctors go to medical school for a reason.
I’ve become a big believer in zinc lozenges at the first sign of a cold. They really do help it move along faster and not get as ugly.
Ditto the Zicam advice. It really does work to knock a cold if taken at the first symptoms.
Glad to hear you’re feeling better man.
Much of the above home-remedy advice works, but also try chewing one or two cloves of garlic periodically for your sore throat – it actually helps a lot. Yeah, I was skeptical too, but…
Here, read this since you’re both ill;
http://gutrumbles.com/mt2/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1355
My chosen cold remedy is a shot of cherry NyQuil mixed with a shot of your favorite fozen vodka. Sleep and repeat every 4-6 hours.
Hey, where’s Will so we can all complain about the travesty called the BCS?
We have to watch a 20th ranked dog Pittsburgh play mid-major Utah in the “Oops, We Blew It” Bowl? Ashlee Simpson could cover Milli Vanilli’s greatest hits for the halftime show, and the OJ jury could do sideline reporting. On the bright side, this could be one game that Dennis Miller’s commentary would fit: “We haven’t seen contractual obligations this entangling since Franz Ferdinand got capped…”
Here’s what the BCS should look like:
Orange Bowl: USC vs. Auburn. Oklahoma blew their undeserved shot last year. Why give them another? Instead…
Sugar Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Texas. Good regional rivalry will ensure high ratings, plus a good grudge factor.
Rose Bowl: Cal vs. Michigan. Big 10, Pac 10. The way it ought to be.
Fiesta Bowl: Utah vs. Georgia. See if Utah deserves that rating by putting them up against a top team.
Guarantee you that lineup gets better ratings than the mess the BCS picked for itself.
Hey, how bout them Chargers?
ed
was that a suppository?
slurp! Your Pic, your pic…your wife is blessed. Be well, be happy and get all Democratic, your so blue the red renounces purple, your so on the verge, its for the people by the people. Nothing more, nothing less….lol. 
Yeah, I agree with the Zicam swab advice. But damn, it’s like shoving a q-tip up your nose that’s oozing with cold snot. Yech.
Zicam comes in a nasal inhaler form, too. It’s much more pleasant than a swab and does work!
I go for the swabs because they’re easier (the inhaler seems to shoot either way too much or not enough – I want JUST enough goop to work) and more sanitary (when you’ve got more than one user of the stuff, you have to be very careful not to grab the spouse’s inhaler – and when you’re groggy and tired in the middle of the night, that’s not always easy). Last thing you want is to get infected by the last strain of cold your sweetie had when you’re trying to fight off your own.
Where’s Will’s analysis of the Auburn/ Tennessee rematch? Ya slacking off, Will? I live in East Tennessee and had to listen to how the best team lost the first time they played so now I am vindicated! WAR EAGLE!
Yikes.
Although I’ve found that a VERY spicy meal (cayenne mango salsa on orange roughy, for example) followed by a strong hot toddy and overdressing and burying one’s body in blankets will kill anything.
Including, quite possibly, one’s stomach, but it’s better than the evil cold.
Feel better soon.
Rob,
GOOD suggestion……
I gained my 1st knowledge of Maker’s Mark at a 1 week conference at Notre Dame….more years ago than I like to admit!
I won a drawing for the prize of a bottle said LOVELY spirit…..
Was instructed by the “giver” to NEVER use anything but somw ice for the brew….NO mixers, etc. (Good advice).
Probably work just as well or better as I LOVE the Makers and tolerate the Blackberry brandy!
Duke of DeLand
http://pekinprattles.blogspot.com
How about trying the Russian cure:
Get a large pot and boil six large potatoes with skins until done.
Drink a half tumbler of Stoli.
Dump out the hot water, sit in a chair with the pot between your legs, and put a towel over your head and the pot. Breathe the hot vapor until you can’t stand it anymore.
Go to bed and go to sleep.
zinc. i wasn’t a believer until i had a real nasty cold like the one you are suffering from the year before last. as soon as i started sucking down those zinc tablets i started feeling better. last year as soon as i felt a cold coming i would grab the zinc and within two or three mildly ill days was back to my self. well worth checking out.
Equal parts bourbon, honey, and lemon. Usually works like a champ.
And if it doesn’t, just drink some more and you won’t care anyway.
Zicam really can work great. There are reports that nasal zinc preparations can lead to permanent loss of sense of smell. Some zinc nasal sprays are being checked for this. Do not snuff the zicam gel, just sqweeze it up your nose a ways. “It looks like goo but it’s not” say this aloud after applying.
Since quitting the hooch, I’ve had to come up with alternate methods of beating down the creeping crud. Herewith:
1) Pill up like Jason Giambi. Fistsful of vitamins, about once an hour or more, until yer urine turns the color of a deer hunter’s vest.
2) Work out. I know, it sounds counterproductive. At least break a sweat on a decent 30 minute treadmill workout. You’ll need REALLY inspirational tunes to last this gig. I go with Graham Parker’s Squeezing Out Sparks, Pretenders debut, or English Beat’s I Just Can’t Stop It when I need that final push over the edge of the cliff.
3) Release libidinous tension. ‘Nuff said on that…
4) Put in a Martha Stewart vid to get some good shut-eye. Seriously. I’m pissed the Feds framed her — HGTV pulled her shows — ’cause that measured, refined contralto put me to sleep in twenty seconds max. Free Mumia, my butt…free Martha!
5) Chicken soup with orzo. Gotta have it. Three boneless skinless in 8 cups water, boil until chicken done, take chicken out, dice randomly, toss back in with some chopped celery and carrots, one chicken bouillon cube, dash olive oil, and about a half cup orzo. Simmer twenty minutes. Salt it like Sodom. Salt kills colds. Nosh.
You know you’ve gone yard on the cold when…you stop having the dreams about fearful grinning lumberjacks and revert to the old boring ones about showing up for school in yer undies.
Peace, my brothahs…
TO: Otto
RE: Additionals
Some additional ingredients…
1 medium onion
1 clove garlic, minced
Sauteed in a little olive oil.
A dash of dry white wine, in the soup.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
P.S. 1 teaspoon of Herbox chicken broth powder instead of the cube of chicken buillion. Much better flavor.
Dude, just drink more beer.