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Local News

August 30th, 2004 - 3:43 pm

David Schuler forwarded this story:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Entomologists say spiders are so prevalent that you’re never more than three feet away from one, anywhere you go. That realization may cause some residents of Colorado Springs to be even more jittery.

Tarantulas have been spotted in several neighborhoods in the south end of the city as mating season for the venomous spiders begins.

While tarantulas usually prefer more wide-open, arid conditions farther south of Colorado Springs where they can easily spot prey, the warm, dry weather in recent years may be pushing them farther north when they look for mates, said Jerry Prisk, plant and pest management technician at the Colorado State University Cooperative Extension.

“Until a few years ago, I never heard of people seeing them, even on the south side of town,” he said.

Ginny Hall found one of the spiders, with its imposing fangs, on her front doorstep when returning home late one night last week.

“She called me on my cell phone and said, ‘Come out here and get this thing out of my way,’” said her husband, Patrick Hall.

He removed the spider with a plastic container and took it to a different area, which Prisk said is a good idea.

Two words: Screw that!

I see a furry-ass tarantula anywhere near my own self, I am not going to offer it a ride in my to-date spider-free car. No, sir. I’m going to step on the little bastard. Then I’m going to spray it with chemicals. Then I’m going to set fire to the squishy, toxic remains. And perform the sacred Spider No Come Here No More dance around the ashes.

Assuming, of course, that I don’t first run away screaming like a little girl. Or, more accurately, like a grown man who really, really, really has problems with nature.

Thanks for the heads-up, David. You owe me the price of a refill on my Ambien prescription.

UPDATE: Turns out, Dave has a blog. Check it out.

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