Sore Loser Watch IV
March 26th, 2003 - 9:37 am
Yesterday, it finally happened. Eric Alterman is now in Full Spittle Spewing Mode, attacking everyone in the Defense Department, Colin Powell, the Budget Office, the White House, and praising Arthur Schlesinger when he says,
Alterman is three days late and two steps behind the argument, as usual. Now he has to resort to wildly unlikely doomsday scenarios since nearly all of the original anti-war arguments have been disproven. Alterman is also too dumb to realize that a good part of what we’re seeing is disinformation or irrelevant. Sandstorms? Two to one odds our jets are still flying and beating the hell out the Republican Guard.
Where are we now?
Oil prices are down.
Israel has not been attacked.
Coalition casualties are low.
Iraqi civilians are rebelling against Saddam.
We’re less than 50 miles from Baghdad.
No credible broadcasts from Saddam.
Republican Guard being ground into burger.
Humanitarian aid is flowing.
Basra has nearly fallen.
No chemical weapons have been used.
No domestic terrorism.
FRICKING FLIPPER IS BEATING SADDAM.
Yes, dolphins have defeated the last pathetic efforts of the Iraqi Navy. Let me take a bold step. Alterman is either incredibly stupid or so biased that he’s not worth reading. (except for the entertainment value)
“Yes, dolphins have defeated the last pathetic efforts of the Iraqi Navy.”
Which, of course, brought PETA out of their rathole to whine about it. There is a certain degree of comfort in the utterly predictable, isn’t there?
I was wondering when PETA would join the spittle-fest.
Not if, just when.
If there were any trees to speak of in Iraq, I’m sure we’d be hearing from the Earth First! whackos. But even they can’t get worked up over us pounding sand into…well, more sand. Or should I say glass?
“Infamy! Infamy! Everybody’s got it in f’ me!”
I’m thinking about having a pool to see if Alterman’s book can stay ahead of Ann Coulter’s on Amazon through the month of May.
FYI, Coulter’s book is published in JUNE.
Think that’ll raise his cackles?
I lost my pool — I had him losing it on day two. (Is this a common pool or something? I thought we were being unusually arcane when we started it.) Surprisingly, no one had five days. I had two, my wife had one, and then everyone else figured he’d last a fortnight.
We’re trying to think of a new pool.